My wedding is June 14 and my Fiance and I are having a sit-down buffet for the reception. The question is about alcohol. Most of my Fiance's family "does not drink" (at least if people are around). The only people who actually do not drink are his father (a baptist minister), his mother, his sister, his grandfather (a baptist minister) and grandmother and his other grandparents. Everyone else (including his brother and sister-in-law) drinks in private. (But SHHHH!! No one knows!). On my side of the family my brother and his wife (guess what he is, yes a baptist minister) and 1 of my 2 sisters are the only ones who do not drink. Of our guests, about 1/2 the list or so do not drink.
My Fiance wanted an alcohol free wedding; I wanted alcohol at our wedding. Someone suggested a "Bring Your Own" approach to the alcohol problem; is this a great solution or a tacky one?
2007-12-27 05:49:57 · 31 answers · asked by sheamles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Kind of tacky and awkward. Imagine your guests walking in with 6 packs or flasks.
Nothing wrong with having a "dry" wedding, there are lots of them lately both for personal and financial reasons. You probably want to have the event earlier in the day though, a night time dry wedding is a little odd. But if you really want to have some alcohol why don't you offer a champagne toast or just have some wine available. That way no hard liquor, it's more affordable and those who want to drink have an option. And do a little word of mouth mention of whatever you decide so guests are prepared. There are tactful ways to mention it on the invite too. Good luck and congratulations.
2007-12-27 05:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by Q-mama 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
It is tacky there is no reqason that a small bar could not be set-up if you are going to be serving say juice or something this would already be there. Anyways tell your guests that vyou do have alcohol beverages at the bar but it will also be used as a juice station and then mention there is a cost for the booze if anyone would like to indulge then so be it.
Come on even Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding reception. Why control what people drink at your wedding it is a celebration and really I trhink it high time your fiances brother comes out of the private drinking crap. Have a few for me Congrats marriage is great.
DO NOT BYOB IT SOUNDS LAME USE YOUR COMMON SENSE WHAT YOU THINK PEOPLE WALK AROUND WITH FLASKS ON THER HIPS TO HAVE A DRINK AT YOUR WEDDING.
2007-12-27 06:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal, hon- you're going to have to deal with this family for the rest of your life because you're marrying into it, so even though their Baptist, non-alcoholic beliefs don't exactly jive with your own, you still have to acknowledge their wishes by serving some non-alcoholic choices, such as soft drinks and maybe a nice fruit punch. That said, it is YOUR wedding, and just because you serve alcohol doesn't mean anybody's putting a gun to your new in-laws' heads to drink it. Maybe you could just explain to them that other guests at your wedding will be disappointed if there isn't at least champagne to toast the bride and groom, and explain that your job as a gracious hostess is to provide refreshments that everyone can enjoy. However, you need to look at the big picture here- the wedding is just one day out of your lives together, and frankly, I doubt anyone will remember what you ended up serving at your wedding ten years from now. If you choose to have alcohol at your wedding, against your new in-laws' wishes, be prepared for the fallout, which can make your marriage doomed from the start. I'm not saying you have to back down from what you want in order to please these guys, but it's just not worth it to start World War 3 over some beer and mixed drinks. If you do choose to go your own way with this one, be prepared for a lot of ugliness and possibly even a boycott of your wedding, because if there's one thing I know, it's that Baptists and other people whose religion frowns upon drinking take things like this quite seriously. Think about your fiance and what he'll have to put up with from his family, and if nothing else, have an alcohol-free wedding for his sake. Marriage, as you'll find out, is all about picking your battles, and I just don't think the presence or absence of alochol at a wedding is a big enough issue to fight over. Also, think how much money you'll save by not having to buy liquor and pay a bartender at the reception!!
2007-12-27 06:06:11 · answer #3 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is pretty tacky.
It is your day to celebrate.
They are your friends and family. Most adults don't need alcohol to celebrate.
I don't think anyone will mind an alcohol free wedding.
Maybe provide champagne for the toast and pour wine, just red or white, for the dinner to compliment the meal.
You can use sparkling cider to toast with if you want to stay completely NA.
I am a bartender who doesn't drink due to an allergy.( I had drank my share anyway.)
You can still have fun, perhaps more fun when you are sober.
Good Luck!
2007-12-27 06:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
about half the list do drink then? BYOB is extremely tacky, hire the bar/staff at your venue but do tell them it will be mainly soft drinks and not likely to be that busy, that way they will be able to organise the right number of staff. My step-father is a Baptist minister but there is no way I would have compromised my wedding plans - he doesn't drink (just because there is a bar, doesn't mean he has to!) others do, no big deal! It's your day and you need to cater for all your guests not pander to their 'anti alcohol' stance.
2007-12-27 06:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by groovymaude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's the tackiest thing I've ever heard of. You are hosting a party. Therefore, you provide the refreshments. Guests invited to a formal event (especially one where the social custom is to bring a gift), do not bring their own food or drinks. You may well choose not to serve alcohol--that's a perfectly reasonable choice--but if you choose to have alcohol, then you must provide it.
2007-12-27 09:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say do a dry wedding. There is nothing that can ruin a party more than a bunch of drunks running around.
You could compromise by holding it at a banquet room of a hotel that has a bar- so that those who want to drink can order alcohol.
For me- Very few of my family drink (like maybe a few of my cousins)- My Fiance has family members who drink, but neither of us do and his parents don't. There will be no alcohol at our wedding and we don't want anybody bringing their own. If any of them have a problem with that- then oh well, they can deal with life.
2007-12-27 05:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hi. Yes, I think this would be tacky.
Where is your reception being held? I don't know where you live, but every state has their own liquor laws. Here in Michigan, you CANNOT bring alcohol in to a reception venue. It must be purchased through the venue. (That is also how they make their money.)
So...check with your venue first. If this is at a church or someone's home...then it would be different, of course, but most churches do not allow alcohol.
I would include alcohol and the ones who don't drink....well, they won't drink!
Good luck!
2007-12-27 06:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tacky. But it is your wedding. Give out drink tickets which would allow each person to have maybe 2 drinks. Then instead of leaving straight from your wedding to your honeymoon maybe invite everyone out to a bar or club afterwards where the people who want to drink can come and the ones who dont can choose not to be around it. Either way it is your wedding and if you want to drink you should be able to. But alot of the times it is just an unreasonable expense.
2007-12-27 05:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Janna B. 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
that is very tacky. i would recommend only serving wine - as some consider it a bit more 'classy' than having a keg or open bar. otherwise, consider having alchohol available only for the first hour before your sit down buffet. Keep in mind that a lot of people often bring flasks - if they want to drink at your wedding they will find a way to do it. You do not have to endorse one thing or another. Maybe you should ask your fiance's dad/mother to see how they would feel about allowing 1 hour of open bar???
2007-12-27 05:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by asweetangelseyes 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋