Do you feel that it is normal for a 5 year old (in this case, my boyfriends son - a boy), wets the bed at night? He rarely stays with his father, but when he is with his mother, she loads him up on drinks. She is never thinking about potty training him, atleast for now. Also, when my boyfriends son stays with him every now and then, he just HAD to sleep in the same bed? Isn't that bad? His mother, I feel, is not doing a good job raising him, since she is his care taaker. Thoughts on this?
2007-12-27 05:43:35 · 12 answers · asked by YinxSphinxmen 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Are you saying that he is not potty trained at all? Or does he just wet the bed at night?
If it is just at night it is common for alot of children, they usually outgrow it by 8 or 9. Sometimes later.
If he is not potty trained at all, no that is not normal for 5 years old.
As far as sleeping in his Dad's bed, that is normal for a 5 year old to still want to sleep in their parents' bed, especially since you say he doesn't get to see his dad alot.
My son is almost 5 and he always wants to sleep in my bed, he sleeps in his own but sneaks into my bed early in the morning.
2007-12-27 05:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Lucy 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Potty training and night training are two different things.
Potty training is a concious learning process where a parent & child work together to teach a child new habits.
Night training is misnamed, as there is no 'training' involved at all. A child doesn't choose to urinate in the night & cannot control whether it is happening. A child can't learn how to stay dry at night. His body just reaches a physical maturity level where the bladder muscles stay closed all night, instead of allowing urinating. Parents can help their child to stay dry by limiting liquids before bed, waking the child in the night to urinate, making sure the child has a regular bedtime routine, etc. But, none of that will make any difference if the child's physical maturity, different for every child and not able to be controlled by the child or parent in any way, is not there yet.
Co-sleeping is not bad if everyone involved is OK with it. In many cultures in our world, co-sleeping is the norm in families. If your boyfriend doesn't want his son to sleep with him, then he can say that he's not comfortable with it & help his son learn to sleep on his own when he's with him. It's not unusual at all, though, for a child to want to sleep close to someone he loves, when he's in an unfamiliar place or when he doesn't get to be with that person very often.
Your boyfriend, despite the fact that he either chooses to, or if forced to, only see his child occasionally, is just as much 'parent' to his son as his mother is. He is able to fully parent when his son is with him & can make the decisions in his house, work on teaching his child skills & habits while he's there. If his son's mother is not doing a good job raising his son, then he should do something about it. This is his son.
2007-12-27 06:13:02 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a doctor, but I am a mother to two boys ages 8 and 3, and while some kids do take longer to potty train than others, 5 years old and still not potty trained just doesn't sound right. As for still sleeping with parents, some kids do occasionally need to climb into bed with mommy and daddy because of a bad dream, and sometimes when they aren't feeling well. It sounds like maybe the little guy just misses his daddy and needs to be reassured that daddy loves him and daddy will always be there for him, talk to your boyfriend about doing more with his little guy. This little boy needs some serious time with his daddy and the more he gets, the less need he'll have for sleeping in the same bed.
2007-12-27 05:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by hibicent 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm 16 and I still sleep with my parents sometimes. I'm a perfectly normal girl. I go to a really tough private school, get good grades, have a nice boyfriend, have a weekend job. Is that normal enough for you? I wet my bed until I was about 7 or 8. That really doesn't have anything to do with potty training, though. I didn't wear a diaper or anything. I still went to the bathroom on a toilet during the day, but for some reason my body just didn't recognize that I needed to wake up and go to the bathroom when I was asleep. Don't worry. I'm sure your boyfriend's son will turn out just fine. Good luck!
2007-12-27 08:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing abnormal about a 5 year old who still wets the bed. It stinks that his Mom isn't trying to help on this, but at 5, if the parents don't help out (by trying to limit drinks, etc.) there isn't much he can do. There is also nothing wrong with a 5 year old wanting to sleep with Dad.
2007-12-27 05:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer that children should never sleep in their parents bed. Chilling out in the morning with them is ok - but not all night. My guess is that he sleeps in his moms bed as well.
As far as wetting the bed - you mentioned the mom is not thinking about potty training - at five - he should be trained unless there are more issues you are not aware of.
Either way - some children do have accidents and will out grow them. Again could be more issues than you are aware of.
Unless you have been with this man for a long time - I would suggest forgetting about it as he may take it to heart. If you have been with him for a long time - express your concerns about potty training / accidents. And maybe there are some other issues that need to be addressed
2007-12-27 05:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by chasetwins05 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well in a normal situation it would not be to normal,but since his parents are split up and he comes from a broken home I would say it is hard for him to deal with.Since he does not have daddy all the time when he is around he wants to sleep next to him.At 5 he should be potty trained but it could be that he has allot of stress so he has more accidents!
2007-12-27 05:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Children should have their own beds. They need to learn how to be by themselves and if they are attached to you 24/7 it's only going to create major issues when they are older.
Is he not potty trained? Does he still wear diapers? You need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him that this is not normal. Something needs to be done. Does he want his son packing a diaper bag for his first day of kindergarten?
Bed wetting is normal for younger kids. They haven't completely mastered bladder control. Is he upset when it happens or does it seem like he does it on purpose? If he seems upset it's probably because it's an accident. If that's the case, then it's normal. If he's doing it on purpose then there needs to be disciplinary actions when he does this.
2007-12-27 05:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by adrian♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yea she needs to grow up , it sounds like you have some pretty young parents on your hands there so it will be difficult !
my son is almost 7 and was potty trained FULLY by the time he was 3 ~!~! its time someone step up ~!
2007-12-27 06:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
not a big deal at all. it can be genetic to be a bedwetter to a later age. some kids have small bladders or just do not have the signal to their brain wake them up when they need to pee at night.
as for sleeping with his dad whom he rarely sees ... so what? he misses him. it's once in a while. if his dad doesn't mind, what's the harm? it's not like he'll be doing it when he's 12.
i don't think any of what you said indicates that mom is a bad caretaker.
2007-12-27 05:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by ... 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋