help with my 3 year old?

Question

my son is 3 and doesn't talk much and has speech delay,will get that checked out next month, but he understands and is able to do for himself and is potty trained. If I give him a task he can do it. My son has the need to order things all the time. If there's cups stacked he will unstack them and line them up side by side so that there straight. if there's a sit of books he will line those up too. I have picture of this but can't add them to this post. is this normal to want to line things up so straight at his age? he can spend up to an hour doing these kinds of things and gets mad if the order is not the way he wants. please help

thinks everyone I was thinking most of the same things that you guys wrote, but it sounds better to hear it come out of others mouths too.

my son doesnt hang around other kids his age because he stays home with me and his sister who is 1. when kids do come over who are his age. he can repeat what they say. or he uses his actions to interact with them and they seem to understand my son. maybe its kid code ha! who knows he's more of an action person or points at what he wants

he is potty trained and doesn't need to tell me he has to go he just goes and flushs the potty on his own walks out and closes the door.

the list you wrote one one thing is him. (* An unusual attachment to inanimate objects such as toys, strings or spinning objects )

maybe a list of ocd

when he lines things up I just unline them and he doesn't get mad he does what I do. but when i came back he line them right back up ha!

Answer 1

Have you had him checked for autism? These sound like signs to me, either that or he is already OCD.

Answer 2

I would try a pediatric neurologist. This type of doctor can rule out physical causes. There is one physical issue called hypotonia, which means poor muscle tone. A child may have hypotonia in one part of the body (maybe the face) but not others. Pediatricians are NOT trained to recognize hypotonia except for extreme cases in which an infant is as limp as a rag doll. Hypotonia could be affecting your son's speech development. Wherever you are going next month, ask them about hypotonia.

As far as the lining up of things, that is usually taken in context with other behaviors to diagnose autism. Sometimes an autistic child has other types of compulsive behavior such as no tolerance for schedule changes, has to eat certain foods cut or prepared a certain way, only relates to certain people (or nobody at all). You may just have a very organized child!
Don't let lay people "diagnose" autism. See a PhD who is an expert in the field. The neurologist should rule out any physical causes for the speech delay and then should be able to refer you to a competant PhD or psychiatrist for an autism diagnoses. Good luck with your little guy and happy New Year!

Answer 3

I used to put things in order all the time and my son does it too. He's four but he'se been doing it ever since he could pick anything up. It's quite a hassle when we are shopping. He'll put all the canned good in their section and line them up. When there is one left over he has no idea what to do with it, so he hands it to me and I sneak it back on the shelf when he's not looking. I have OCD and my son probably has it as well. I wouldn't worry so much about the organization your son does, I would be more concerned about his speech development. Like other said, it COULD be autism, but it's not definite. Autism is a broad diagnosis for a lot of symptoms. What ever the cause, there is a way to help him out. Don't get distraught over it. Every child is different and every child learns differently. A friend of ours has a son who barely speaks and that is due to the fact that he DOESN'T NEED TO SPEAK. He understand everything they ae saying, however, when he wants something he just points and they get it. They don't make him SAY what he wants. If they don't need to do it, why do it? Wait for the doctor's appointment and see what they say. Just remember, autism is diagnosed way too often.

Answer 4

I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose, but I can tell you that as a preschool teacher who works with special needs children, it definitely sounds like he falls on the autism spectrum. Not talking...not talking much, lining things up, his interactions with other children...all huge red flags. Is he just going for a speech evaluation next month? If it's just speech, I would call your pediatrician, tell them that he has several flags for autism and you want to have him evaluated. Until he gets evaluated and started on services, one thing I would suggest you do is discourage the ordering behavior (lining up)...he is probably going to get mad, but don't do it in a punishing sort of way....when you see him lining something up just walk over and start to "play" with him...mess up the line....if there are five items, remove every other one so the line is broken, or scoop the whole line into a pile. The lining up is not good, you should also watch for other innapropriate behaviors....if he is playing with a toy car...it might look like he is actively playing with it, so you will really have to watch what he is doing....is he "driving the car" or is he pushing it back an forth just repetitively? especially if it is at eye level or he is just watching the wheels spin....he might flip the car over and just spin the wheels....you want to interrupt that behavior.

Autistic children are very good at learning repetitive behaviors...potty training, completing tasks, etc. Very frequently they go unnoticed because they appear "normal" or often gifted, you have to really watch to see some of the signs. The sooner he gets services the better. Autistic children can really lead lives similar to typically developing children with the right services. They will work on innappropriate behaviors and social skills in his program, as well as speech and motor skills. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

hey,
it looks like you have a situation here. do not make it a problem.
your son has innate abilities and cannot find ways to express them either because he cannot find the right company or he is denied certain privileges. i am not accusing you here, rather, exploring possibilities that could have caused such a situation.
now, the first thing you need to do is stop diagnosing or treating him all by yourself. stop speculating. it may look like autism, but we are not qualified to decide a suitable course of treatment, can we?
second, fix an appointment with a child pediatrician at the earliest, as well as with a child psychiatrist.
third, do not lose faith.
there is absolutely no need to panic or feel helpless.
you have the best facilities in your country and if you act promptly and wisely, you can restore your son to normalcy.
that makes all of us happy, does it not?
good luck :)

Answer 6

Hopefully when you take your son to the doctor, tests will be ordered to evaluate him as autistic or not. Statistics have 1 in 50 children being diagnosed with autism today. Boys are more likely than girls to have autism.

My best friend's son is 3-1/2 years old and was diagnosed with autism shortly before he was 2 years old. I also teach special education resource at the middle school level and have 2 autistic students who are not in an autism room. One should be. The other is considered 'highly functioning' and is capable of being 'mainstreamed', rather than being kept in a self-contained room.

I am including some of the symptoms of autism, but you may also want to check out Autism Speaks for more information.

Autism is a diagnosis that many think is the worst possible thing. Fortunately, there are many things that can be done to help. Early detection, acceptance and action are instrumental in providing your child with the best possible future.

Best of luck and keep positive.



Symptoms of autism include:

* Extreme difficulty in learning language.
* Inappropriate response to people. A child with autism may avoid eye contact, resist being picked up or cuddled, and seem to tune out the world.
* Inability or reduced ability to play cooperatively with other children or to make friends.
* Inability to understand other people's feelings.
* Need for a rigid, highly structured routine -- and being very distressed by changes in routines.
* Extreme hyperactivity or unusual passivity, and extreme resistance to change.
* Repetitive body movements including pacing, hand flicking, twisting, spinning, rocking or hitting oneself.
* Insensitivity to pain or lack of response to cold or heat.
* Impulsive behavior and no real fear of dangers.
* An unusual attachment to inanimate objects such as toys, strings or spinning objects.
* Frequent crying and tantrums for no apparent reason.
* Peculiar speech patterns. An autistic child may use words without understanding their meanings.
* Abnormal responses to sensations such as light, sound and touch. At times an autistic child may appear deaf. At other times the child may be extremely distressed by everyday noises.
* Some of these symptoms occur in children with other disabilities. Symptoms can change as the child grows older.

Answer 7

i have a nearly 3 year old.
kids at this age are into order- size or whatever and if its not as they see things they get mad - esp. if they have problems communicating. how does he work when interacting with others of his own age- my kid is bilingual ( asian lang + engl) he was slow to pick up words but then started missing with others and his vocab rate increase exponentially. does yr son have any other interesting talents?
detail seems to be important to kids this age. my kid can tell the tiniest difference we may have done to a room or suchlike. i dont know whether yours is an extreme case.
if you are worried ask a paed.

Answer 8

Sounds like he may be an obsessive compulsive. The talking may take a while - I had a nephew who never talked for about 4 years and took forever to get potty trained. And who knew...now he's applying for West Point.

Worse case scenario though is that it may be a sign of autism, which you may want to bring up with the doctor.

Answer 9

It almost sounds as if he has obsessive compulsive disorder. I have two small cousins and neither one of them spoke a word until they were three or four. I don't think the not speaking has anything to do with the wanting everything to be in an order. If he is three years old they should have caught any signs of autism by now.

Answer 10

Sounds like a normal well-adjusted child to me. He doesn't need speech to let you know everything. Soudns like his motor functions and creativity are very high. Encourage this behavior and keep talking to him like a regular person (no baby talk). Read a book to him, get him on some kids websites and play some flash games, get his mind on many different things that requires motor skills

Answer 11

when he gets screened for his speech tell them about the lining up to

my daughter also has speech delay and every time she's been screened they have asked me lots of questions to make sure she is not autistic and does not have any neurological problems

lining things and freaking out when things arent just so is 1 sign of autism and so is a speech delay so be prepared for that
it could also be nothing just a personality quirk but i would get it checked just to make sure