I cannot get my 4 year old son to eat. His BMI is less than 5%. Does anyone have any help?

Question

My son will not eat. I have tried making him stay at the table for 20 minutes, then I'll send him to bed for 4 minutes, then get him back up and put the plate in front of him again and when he still refuses, he'll go to bed for the night. I'll think that he'll be hungry in the morning but it's the same thing everyday. Ususally I give in and let him snack on chips or fruit snacks so at least he's getting something in his tummy because I'm terrified of the fact that he will not eat. This has been going on for 2 and 1/2 years and we have been to at least 5 nutrisionists (sp) who have not helped in the least. I am concerned about his development but the doctors say that he is fine. He is a very smart boy, he does not cause any trouble at school but no one seems to understand the fact that you almost have to force him to eat. I've tried just about everything and came across this website online and thought I'd give it a try. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

I just want to thank everyone who tried to answer my question. I have tried the instant breakfast and that was all he wanted. The doctors told me to take him off of that because he wasn't taking in any food...but you guys are probably right - I should just quit stressing and see where it goes. It is just frustrating because this has been going on for a couple of years. We do sit at the table and I try to make conversation but it ends up being "Blaine, eat your dinner", Blaine, take one more bite"..Blaine do this, Blaine do that and I know he has to be frustrated also.

Answer 1

Well, as long as his doctors aren't concerned he's technically fine. But I know my oldest was like this, and even though we could get her nutritional requirements met through vitamins and instant breakfast/pediasure type products, she did not function as well when she did not eat properly. According to my mother I was the same way, so I did what she did with me - over-the-counter zinc supplements prescribed by the pediatrician. If he's too young to swallow a pill, you can crush one in his pudding/applesauce/breakfast drink. There are also water-infused individual mineral liquids (like www.eidon.com) online and healthfood stores. I used those when she started to refuse foods that I put the ground-up tablet in. When my daughter was 3-4YO, I would give her 1/3 an adult dose. I'm not sure why it works, but it does stimulate her appetite and works in a day or two.

I can tell you that doctors and nutritionists now are wary of mineral supplements because they can build up to toxic levels in the body if you take too much. Many will say just use them for ten day stints periodically and not every day. I can tell you I took them every day as a child and turned out fine, and my daughter did from age 18MO-4YO with no problems. We now just give it to her occasionally as needed. What I'd say is try it for ten days (assuming he's not on any meds that it would conflict with) and see if it makes a difference. If it does, talk to your doctor about a long-term plan to take it so you can avoid toxicity.

I totally understand the broken record thing at meal times. What worked well for my daughter until the appetite truly came back was a picture schedule reward system. I'd draw a grid with pictures, showing her "itinerary" for dinner. Usually it was something like bite of preferred food, bite of non-preferred food, and reward (play with toy, blow out candle at table, sip of chocolate milk, etc.), repeat until dinner is gone. We kept referring to the "itinerary" and she got to cross things off as she did them. If he is a visually-oriented learner, this could be a big help. I also did a lot of singing of cues to eat (made up different lyrics to songs about eating/chewing/swallowing) which she loved, so I would only sing them if she was actively eating. Now that she's older and has her appetite back, I don't have to do it for her anymore. The trick is a reward system that he responds to, so you don't go crazy with the broken record thing and turn meals into an unpleasant experience for everyone.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I have the same problem with my 5 year old. She eats better now, but when she was about 2-3 years old, she could go days without eating. I was really concerned about this so I took her to her pediatrician. He said to give her 2 of the Carnation (Nestle) Instant breakfasts a day. He said it had all the vitamins she needed and would help her gain weight. I don't know if it helped her gain weight, but I felt better that if she wasn't eating, at least she was getting the nutrition she needed. He suggested the instant breakfast because they're alot less expensive than the Pediasure. Hope this helps, I know how frustrating it can be when your child doesn't eat. He also said pretty much to let her eat whatever she wanted as long as she was eating plus the instant breakfast.

Answer 3

What extreme weight loss it's on abc and the biggest loser to get motivated. It shouldn't be very hard to start losing weight because bigger people lose right the fastest. Don't take him grocery shopping so that way he can't be there to ask for junk food. Maybe you can take a health class to learn nutrition facts. Some basics are: if you don't exercise, everything turns to fat. So if he has something with sugar or fiber with no exercise, it will turn to fat. The ingredient list is listed from greatest to least DO NOT buy anything with the words enriched, modified, or hydrogenated Do not get eat protein bars, those are for training athletes. Everything has protein, literally. That's one reason why Americans are so obese, they load up on protein and they don't exercise so it turns to fat. When buying breads, only get 100% whole wheat. Dont be fooled by things that say just whole wheat. Labels are scamming and will do anything to sell a product. Whole wheat could mean just the crust

Answer 4

I was a really picky eater when I was little and my mom always tells me how took her forever trying to get me to eat. What helped me a lot was when my grandma came to visit. I did (and still do) eat really slowly and sometimes I just got tired of sitting at the table and therefore didn't want to eat anymore. My grandma would eat slowly too and she would sit with me the entire time so I wouldn't feel bored.

Try giving your son Ensure or Boost shakes. I really like the vanilla Boost shakes and I'm super-picky about taste. Also, just give your son whatever food he wants. It sounds unhealthy, but it is better than nothing as you said. Since my grandma lives abroad, whenever I went to visit her, she would give me my favorite food from the area. Sometimes that would be the only thing I would eat, but my family got used it and always got lots for me. And when my grandma gave me different foods, I would try them even if I really didn't like them because I didn't want her to feel bad. Maybe your son's grandma can motivate him if she lives nearby (or grandpa!)

By the way, I really do sound just like your son because I always did very well in school and never made any trouble. But one embarrassing thing that I remember (hopefully your son won't have to deal with this) is that when I was in about first grade, this silly lunch monitor tried to keep me separate from my friends so I would concentrate on eating and not talking. That didn't help me eat any faster or more than usual and just made me feel really left out. Don't worry too much about the junk food thing, I grew up eating any food that I wanted, and I'm very healthy and my doctor regularly tells me how good my blood pressure is and all that. Your son will be fine, just everything in moderation! :)

Answer 5

Stop making an issue out of eating. Continue to offer a variety of good foods at mealtimes and snack times, and let him decide what and how much he wants to eat. Don't make him stay at the table or punish him if he doesn't want to eat - those tactics only make eating problems worse. Place healthy snacks on a lower shelf of the refrigerator and a lower cupboard shelf and allow him to help himself when he is hungry.

Answer 6

You've been to tons of doctors that all say he is fine. Eventually, he'll start puberty and eat like a champ. Don't force him to eat, because when it starts catching up with him, he'll end up being an overweight adult.

Worry when the doctors tell you that you should be concerned. Otherwise, just let him eat when he is hungry and don't force him to clean his plate!

Answer 7

All 3 of my children have BMI of less then 5%. There is no reason to push your son to eat what hes not able or doesn't want to eat. This is how he puts on weight that can lead to him being obese.
If your worried about vitamins and health you could add a can of pediasure to his daily diet.
Other then that, please do not make your son eat.
Restrict treats such as chips and candy for special times. Use fruits and veggies, crackers and cheese, yogurt for snacks.

Answer 8

All kids are different.. just wait until he turns about ten and eats you out of house and home! :)
Seriously though.. try taking him with you to the grocery and let him pick out some things that he would LIKE to eat. Let him know that those are his "special" foods and they will be in the pantry and fridge just for him! Good luck to you and try not to stress about it.

Answer 9

Quit stressing out over it. The doctor says he is fine. He is not going to starve. He is healthier being thin than fat.

Answer 10

leave him alone and trust your doctor....if you don't trust your doctor take him to another one. Many kids are on the slim side....your behavior is sending him a message that he is not OK...he will not starve himself to death...relax....