Help with 15 month old!?

Question

Recently I have come across some difficulties with my daughter. She is almost 16 months old. She is very much above average for her age. Now she is starting to throw temper tantrums. She bangs her head on the ground and slams her body backwards, when you dont allow her to do something. I know she understands what no means but she does not care! She keeps doing it over and over even if it will hurt her. I dont spank so I dont know what to do. Do I need to spank her. Or how can I make her understand. She is dangerous! My other child was never like this. So I dont know how to make her mind. I need help now before she is out of control and really hurts herself. She is a great eater takes her naps well and sleeps for 12hrs a night. It is just when she gets a tanturm i cant make her understand not to touch. Please help my husband and I are at a loss with her.

Answer 1

My daughter did this as well. She slammed her own head into the bottom of the bathtub full of water and didn't do it again.

Put your duaghter in the middle of a carpeted room where she will be safe and walk away. After you give her this lack of attention a few times.........the tantrums will get less and less. It's boring if she doesn't get a reaction out of you.

Answer 2

I to am not a fan of spankings, If you don't believe in spankings then time outs are a good start. She is not too young to have a time out. I talked to my pediatrician about it and she told me not to put my son in the crib for a time out because that is their bed and when you put them to bed at night then they might think its a time out and not be comfortable in their own crib anymore. You can maybe do the old fashioned stand facing the corner until she is ready to calm down. It is hard though for a 15 month old, especially now where they are into exploring new things and getting a reaction out of mommy and daddy. Anyways find a good time out place, see if it works, and use that. If not then maybe a little spank on the bottom will do (their bottoms are cushioned with diapers anyways so that probably won't do any good either lol)

Answer 3

Avoid forceful restraint. If holding makes your child furious and escalates the tantrum, loosen your hold or quit holding. Your child needs support, not anger. (Forcefully holding onto your child when your child needs to release from you is controlling too much.)
The tantrum-throwing child under two will most often need the holding approach. He can't talk about his problems. Your strong arms in place around him give the message that since he's out of control you have stepped in to help him hold himself together. You may or may not be heard, but you can speak softly near his ear with reassuring phrases like "Mama's here. I'll help you. Show me what you need," and so on. Don't coddle and don't allow his kicks and flails to hurt you. If you can't contain him and he hurts you, calmly put him down next to you and stay as close as you can without letting him hurt you. When to hold the child and when to just be on stand-by is a tantrum-by-tantrum call.

If neither ignoring the tantrum nor comforting it seems appropriate, remove the child from the triggering circumstance and call for a time-out. For example, if your child throws a tantrum in the supermarket, calmly pick him up and head for the car.

Answer 4

no, you shouldn't spank her for this... but she should be isolated when her behavior starts to become as you have described.
when my children were small ( around that age or slightly older ) temper tantrums were not acceptable in the presence of other people. they were taken to their rooms and left there to finish the tantrum out. they could break everything in the room, bang their head etc.... but you have to be the bigger person... let them go at it till they are done... once they are calm, for at least 5 minutes ( where they are playing or something else constructive in their room ) then put band aides on the boo boos.... and let them put all their broken toys into a trash bag... mine had only a couple each that i can remember... they can let off some steam and understand the consequences at the same time....

Answer 5

I am a child carer in Australia, and I work in the Toddler room, so with 16 month to 2 year old children (sometimes a little older).

Lots of the toddlers are beginning to use this form of behaviour to demonstrate their frustration at being told no, not allowed to do what they want, being taken away from what they want to do or a number of other reasons!!

I DO NOT think you need to smack your child, as I have seen that there are other ways to deal with challenging behaviours.

I think that your daughter is probably just frustrated (please keep in mind that I have not seen how she is acting, I am just going on what usually happens at work every day). Toddlers cannot tell you what is upsetting them, and this is probably the best way for her to get a reaction from you; good or bad!!

I would suggest keeping a written record for a week or so of:
- When the 'tantrum' occurs
- How she acts
- How you respond
- What has happened before the behaviour
- The time of day

This allows you to analyse what is happening in her world that may be causing her to react like this. I have quickly learnt that 'bad' behaviour is oftened caused my the way I have acted - making the kids pack up before they are ready, trying to get them to eat more lunch, putting them to bed when they are not at all tired!!

When the children act like this (and lots of them do), myself, other teachers AND their parents consistenly treat them the same: tell them that they will hurt themselves, remove any danger to them, and then allow them to carry out the 'tantrum', letting them know that you will be waiting for a cuddle/hug when they have finished. Even little 15 month old babies can understand this - I have just finished this process with a little girl the same age!! If you would like, if this doesn't work you can always send me an email and I can offer other suggestions?

I hope this is somewhat helpful, Kristy :)

Answer 6

you know I am a firm believer of spanking...give spanking a try, just on the bottom. Tell her when she starts her tantrum that she is not going to get her way and you don't care how mad she gets. If you don't give in she'll see how much of a waste of time it is. BUT if you give in to any of her tantrums she will know that eventually with every tantrum she'll get her way. Once you say 'no' stick with it. She'll learn that you mean it and will know that it is better to mind you! You can try putting a naughty mat down and use it as a punishment that when she starts her tantrum she has to sit on the mat until she stops, if she gets up you continue putting her on the mat, simply reminding her that you'll continue until she stops! Be strong! You can do it!

Answer 7

We do two things with our 15 month old daughter:
The first time in the day she throws a tantrum, we walk away and ignore her if we are home..if we are out, we pick her up and get in the car and leave.
The second time she does it in a day - if there is a second time, we swat her on the butt to get her attention and that usually stops her. If it doesn't, we ignore her and do NOT give in to what she wants, that only makes it worse as we found out one time.

Staying CONSISTENT with whatever you choose to do about it is what is going to get her to stop the tantrums. If you are allowing her to get away with something one time, not the next, etc. then she knows that she can get her way...and she is not the boss!

Answer 8

Tantrums are normal part of child development.

Some children will hurt themselves when they throw tantrums to try to get attention. Their thinking is something along the lines of "Mommy doesn't cuddle me when I throw a fit, but whenever I'm hurt she comes running.
So if I want to get my way I'll just hurt myself."

Suggestion put her in her old playpen in the middle of the room (to prevent her from hurting herself) and then ignored her until she stopped.
Once she realized that hurting herself on purpose didn't get the same attention as hurting herself on accident, she stopped banging her head

Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.
Read very useful information to understand and practical advise on how to deal with similar situations

Answer 9

Oh she just wants to show you how mad you made her and what you are making your sweet baby do to herself. A temper tantrum and a guilt trip all in one. I would immediately pick up my son, put him in the crib, and shut his bedroom door. After about 5 to 7 minutes go in there and talk to her, it just shows tantrums come with consequences. And she is not gonna bang her head hard enough to hurt herself. They push their limits so they know how to make a bang without making a bump so don't feel sorry for her.

Answer 10

Have you tried using time outs at all? Not a long one, just long enough to take her away from everything and talk to her. Tell her what she is doing could really hurt herself. Those types of tantrums are fairly normal, and it is to get attention. She is showing you that she is mad that she didn't get her way so she wants you to react. Try the time outs, and then talk to her.