He is a total sweetheart and cares about me but he wants to go into real estate, not medicine like my parents like and I'm afraid they wont let me continue dating him because of that? His mom is trying to get him to continue in the medicine field.
Also, he is moving to NJ soon and that doesn't mean our relationship will end but if im going to be 18 then ( I'm 17 now), then how can i let me my parents let me go visit him?
2007-12-27 02:24:44 · 8 answers · asked by =) 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Very few 17 or 18 year olds know what they want to do for a living, but it sounds like your BF is set that medicine is not for him. That's fine.
If it makes your parents or his parents nervous, there's little you can do about it. It sounds like your parents are protective, and if they object to a BF based on his future career plans, they're probably not going to be supportive of a long-distance relationship.
The good news is that you're soon to be an adult, and your life will be your own to shape. Hang in there for a few more months, and see what happens. You can't force your parents to let you do anything, but if it's meant to be and you both persevere, you'll soon be able to make your own decisions.
Over time, I think most parents accept dedication and hard work - even if it's not in the career field that they might wish.
2007-12-27 04:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make your parents like him. They're either going to like him for who he is (and because you love him) or they aren't.
You can try to find out what their worries are, though & let them know that you're OK, you're happy. Let them know the good qualities in him, the things that make their daughter think he's a good man. Maybe seeing things through your eyes will help them to see the man that you love.
Maybe they won't either. Then, you, as an adult (which you will be very soon) can decide whether your decision is right or not (and live with the consequences if it isn't), weighing the advice of people you love & trust, along with your own knowledge & sense.
Once you're 18, you don't have to do what your parents say anymore. But, then again, they don't have to take care of you anymore, either. I can't imagine choosing to take care of someone who treats me with disrespect & I would guess that your parents probably feel the same way. So, if you want to go visit him & they want you not to visit, then you may find yourself looking for an apartment & job.
2007-12-27 04:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well the only real way your parents will accept him is if he proves to THEM that he could take care of you if you were to further your relationship what I mean by this is he has to show he is good with money even if he isnt going into medicen he will do what he wants in the end, he also has to show that when times get hard he is not just going to leave you that is the biggy. I know how you feel I'm 17 and I have a 19 month old daughter. Kenndras dad couldnt show that in the long run he would be good for either of us turns out he wasnt hi is in prison now for burglery and has another kid on the way buy some other gurl and no telling how many others, my mom hooked me up with some one she worked with he is 19 and she already knew him and how he was at work we started to date and my mom felt that since we werent looking for some short end of the summer relationship that he was good for me. My boyfrriend and I have had ower own house for almost 4 months now, basicaly all I'm trying to say is there is nothing you can do to make them like and accept him.... He has to just be himself and show that he is what you need not for just know but he has to show he will be responsible, good with money manegment (this is what most parents look for) and some one who would stick with you even in any hard time you have to go through.......... good luck I'm sure if he is as good as you say then they will like him despite the medical part realistate is really good money to people are all the time buying new houses and moving it is just like medicen it will never go out of business ; ) good luck it wount be that hard
2007-12-27 02:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in specific cases mum and dad have a six experience approximately human beings or they have heard issues a pair of man or woman in line with the place you reside and how vast a place is. mum and dad actually have a fave or little one in all the kin and that they'll do greater to guard them. If he has braids he probable isn't what your mum and dad are searching for. Who is conscious of yet you won't be able to cause them to. All you're able to do is wish they'll improve to different than them or possibly you may desire to pay greater interest to what is going on around you.
2016-12-11 13:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents don't like him because of his career choices? I'd say their are more underlying problems than just that. You want to live by your own rules and do what you want? Get a job, move out and be on your own. That's life, live under their roof, you follow their rules; otherwise take care of yourself.
2007-12-27 02:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a horrible time with my in laws at first. It took my mother in law to realize that I was not going anywhere. And no matter what they did or said to my husband, he stood by me. He choose me over them. You family will always be your family. I love my husband with all my heart and no one will ever come between us. Good Luck!
2007-12-27 03:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre 17, youre young, step back, take a look and decide what you really want, then go for it if you still feel that its what you REALLy want.It really isnt up to your parents to force you to find someone in the medical field, that is completely up to you, not them. and im sure as long as they know he loves and care for you then they will eventually accept him if they see that you are going to be together anyway.
2007-12-27 02:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Praise be to Allaah.
The importance of honouring one’s parents is:
Firstly: it is obedience to Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Israa’ 17:23]
In al-Saheehayn it is reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked which deed is the best? He said, ‘Faith in Allaah and His Messenger, then honouring one’s parents…’” And there are many other Aayat and Mutawaatir Ahaadeeth which say similar things.
Secondly: obeying and honouring one’s parents is a means of entering Paradise, as it was reported in Saheeh Muslim from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.” (Saheeh Muslim, 4627).
Thirdly: Respecting and honouring them brings friendship and love.
Fourthly: respecting and obeying them is a way of showing gratitude to them because they are the ones who brought you into this world. You should also show gratitude towards them for bringing you up and taking care of you when you were young. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents” [Luqmaan 31:14]
Fifthly: if a person honours his parents this may be the cause of his own children honouring him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is there any reward for good other than good?’ [al-Rahmaan 55:60]
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
2007-12-27 12:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋