how did you deal with it? how did it affects you?
2007-12-27 01:55:47 · 15 answers · asked by -conviventia- 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Ramadan
In any marriage, the first year has to be the worst! It means you have to adjust to one another and compromise on things which you have never done before. The first year for me was very difficult, even though i had known my husband to be 5 years before we got married (it was a love marriage).
i thought i knew him 100% and vice verser but it seems like he was a stranger to me and i was to him. No matter how much you feel you know someone you dont!
i mean it's okay to talk on the phone etc but you really dont have a clue about what they are really like! i saw an ugly side to him and myself. Living with my mother -in-law was the hardest, it's because of that me and my husband had alot of problems. She had depression and metal illness which only i discovered, it seemed that all the famliy members were indenial and left her for me to deal with! which wasnt fair on me. I was going through alot of emitional, mental and phsycal abuse in the 4 months i lived with her. After that my family had decided enough was enough, so i moved out with my husband. We now have a beautiful daughter and i believe it's because Allah blessed us with her that we are still together today. Children bring husband and wife together, i know that so true for me today!
2007-12-30 02:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by Peace Missile 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
worst problem is when we had not enough money to even buy cloths/formula for our girl. But we resolves it by finding a 2nd work (until the problems gone) and we never steal or borrow from anybody (our family didn't know/notice that we r having a problem then ). But most importantly, be patience and stick with each other, support each other. Dont think about it too much or it will surely drives everybody crazyyyy.. I'm thankful that our problems gone now and we are happier than ever.
2007-12-27 21:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by Kammaira 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like Terry G, the worst thing is having to leave him behind in his country while we wait on the paperwork for his visa. We get to talk every day and see each other on webcam, but it's not the same. We also both pray everyday that the process will not take too long so we can be together again and start our lives as a couple.
2007-12-27 15:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
MY former wife was and is bi polar.
Nothing I did was ever either enough nor correct.
I either did not do enough (as in make enough money for her manic spending sprees even though I had two jobs) or I did too much ( as in cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking care of the baby, doing the yard work, shopping for groceries, walking the dogs, etc.).
I endured verbal, psychological and physical abuse for more than two years. I was lied to and lied about regularly.
We went to four different marriage counselors and as soon as they each told her that she was creating the major problems, she would cease to attend couseling with that counselor.
We are now divorced and my daughter lives with me and has visitations with her mother who has fought this custody agreement and arrangement at every possible turn and in every possible way.
I seriously doubt that I will ever get married again.
It has also lead me to be nearly bankrupt from legal fees.
Welcome to America!
2007-12-27 10:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by Big Bill 7 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Difference of religion and finances.. those are probably our biggest challenges.. but we seem to be doing just fine at the moment. I think if a couple truly loves one another.. they can work to overcome any of their differences.. as long as the two are on the same page, compromise equally and have good communication. Best Wishes!
2007-12-27 11:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by Cupid 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Distance. He's in Morocco, I am back in NY. We deal with it on a daily basis and we pray everyday that the process that will bring us together again continues to go smoothly and quickly. Alhamdulilah, all looks good so far. We are blessed with a strong marriage, a lot of love and faith, and a determination to be together. We do get frustrated, but we know this is all a test and cannot wait for the day we are together again forever (soon, InshaAllah!)
2007-12-27 10:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ terry g ♥ 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Salam Alaykom wb,
Marrying someone from a different culture was and is still quite a challenge. He was raised in the Middle East and I was raised here in the States. There were huge differences at first that were really minor.. but when things get out of hand from miscommunication and arrogance... they go in the wrong direction and seem like huge obstacles. When a marriage continues without 'breaking' I guess its the result of one giving in to the other. Alhamdulilah. He gave in at times and I did too. We were both very, very, very young when we got married. Alhamdulilah, I had trust in very few people who gave me advice for my benefit and not their amusement and jealousy. Alhamdulilah they were smart people who gave us both advice. We both learned alot after many years of patience and a few more little people of ourselves ( children ). Alhamdulilah, we have more respect for each other and thats what remains and strengthens love between 2 human beings. Learning more about Deen for both of us helped and now our focus is to instill it in our growing children. We have both now adapted to both cultures, but Islam comes first and that is to respect each other and then see which way is best for us to be better Muslimeen and be better role models for our children. I know now for sure that I cannot live without him. He has become my oxygen. It was very clear when I was expecting and was having a very bad pregnancy. He understands me more and boy does he help with the children because that is a jihad on its own for a mother to do on her own. Alhamdulilah. I know there are many more marriages like mine and I hope my few examples here will inspire and help anyone who is in a similar situation I was in years ago.
Salam Alaykom wb
2007-12-27 11:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by ~~Peace~ ~ 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Loss in trust. That destroys the fundamentals of allowing 2 individuals to stay together, let alone to share a close relationship.
2007-12-27 10:10:33 · answer #8 · answered by Well Well Well 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Being married to a Christian was a challenge due to our differences concerning Isa/Jesus (PBUH).
It got real ugly when she said bad things about the deen and insinuated that I was a terrorist ( I was highly pissed with that one) and I had to REALLY bite my tongue.
I immediately put it in Allah's(SWT) hands and left it alone because I would have done something real stupid and not befitting a Muslim. Allah (SWT) allowed some things to happen to her and eventually we went our separate ways. I will never marry a non-Muslim again. I've learned a lot about myself, alhamdullah.
2007-12-27 10:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by سيف الله بطل جهاد 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
i am not yet married but the worst problems that i face is that everytime i meet my relatives, they keep bugging me by asking that when am i getting married. i am just 20 and i ll marry after completing my studies and getting a good job and that wont be any sooner than 2 years.
2007-12-27 10:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by ▐▀▀▼▀▀▌ ►MARS◄ ▐▄▄▲▄▄▌ 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋