My daughter is 14.5 months old and for almost a week now she's been getting up in the middle of the night screaming. I know she wants us to come get her and put her in the bed with us so we made the mistake of doing that just once and now she's been waking up every night. Last night we tried putting her in her bed and letting her cry it was terrible it took her almost 1.5 hours to fall asleep she screamed and cried mommy the whole time. Is it possible she'll do the same thing tonight? What should I do? Also, I'm pregnant so this really is wearing me out.
2007-12-27 01:43:15 · 17 answers · asked by Mom to 1 and 1 on the way 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I know people are opposed to bringing a child to bed with you, and I've seen the reasoning that you'll never get them OUT of the bed if you do it, but that hasn't ever been the case for me. My kids went through something similar - usually at 8 months and again around a year and a half - when they were going through phases of seperation anxiety. I put them down to naps on their own, put them to bed on their own, but if they needed me in the middle of the night, I went and got them and brought them to bed with me. Once they were back asleep, I took them back to their own bed. No big deal. After a month or two, they were past the phase and started sleeping through the night again.
2007-12-27 01:55:49 · answer #1 · answered by CowboysFan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't let her scream for an hour and a half. I know you're tired (pregnant with a toddler, "EXHAUSTED" is probably a better word for it) but your child is screaming because she needs you. You have to put your need for "alone time" aside for the 10 minutes it would take to get her back to sleep. You can either sit by her bed and pat her and sing to her, or pick her up and rock her back to sleep, or just bring her to your bed. If she's going to bed by herself and napping by herself, just getting her back to sleep in the middle of the night is the only issue so it won't hurt to snuggle her for a while to make her feel secure and comfortable. She'll outgrow this phase and be sleeping through the night again before you know it.
2007-12-27 02:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put her to bed with all the normal hugs, kisses, love you's, and snuggles.(I hope you have a well established night time routine because that is always a great wind down for a child this age-- prepares them for the inevitable, so to speak. )Then leave. If she starts to cry, give her 5 minutes, go in and say 'it is bedtime now' -no eye contact, no physical contact, no gushing or sympathy, no recovering her or picking up tossed out stuffies. Leave. Let her cry 10 minutes. Do the same. Add 5 minutes per (wait 15 minutes, then 20 minutes and so on). This accomplishes 2 things. First, she knows you are there and you haven't 'deserted' her. Second, she learns to stay in her bed. As the first poster said, it may take more than one night, but it WILL be worth it. This is especially true if you have a new one on the way. Also there is nothing that says your partner can't help. Good luck.
2007-12-27 01:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by amused and confused 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
My heart goes out to you. Having to listen to your own child call for you for so long and not answer. That has to be along the lines of trauma for a pregnant mommy!
I have to ask why is it you don't let her sleep with you? She is only a baby herself. Co-sleeping is very beneficial. Science has proven it to be a good choice.
I highly recommend it. Most of our children have slept with us. I can definately say we were all happier.
If you think there isn't enough room. You can try pulling her bed into your room. Even right up next to your bed.
You will all sleep better for months to come.
Here is an article written from a study done.
2007-12-27 02:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by wehave11 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I still sleep with my 6 yr old twins on occasion... its not like I will have college grads wanting to sleep with mommy... so whatever keeps the peace..
why not try laying in her bed with her... get her a toddler bed - put a gate at her door so she can see out but not get out... and go lay down with her when she first falls asleep... if she gets up, you or dad go down and lay with her... (my ex hubby and I would alternate laying on the floor next to the toddler bed)... uncomfy for 20 minutes or so - but kids would fall asleep...
Its scary for little ones to be alone in their rooms... especially when they do not hear mommy and daddy in the other room making noises (TV, etc)...
2007-12-27 03:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by astutewoman 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My solution, when I had a toddler and was also pregnant, was to just co-sleep. That way everyone got a full night's sleep with minimal interruptions (and none of them involved getting out of bed). That worked for me because my husband works 3rd shift and also likes co-sleeping too, on his nights off -and- I didn't mind having a cozy buddy sleeping in bed with me.
2007-12-27 04:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough love is whats needed, you are doing the right thing, i know it is heartbreaking it was for me, but stick with it, you will need your little one in their own room when the new born arrives.
Try sticking to a routine, also try soft music in the child's room, no TV before bed try reading this will make her feel that she is having mummy/daddy time b4 sleep, also baths can be soothing.
Above all try not to get stressed, your daughter will see this and play on it (yeah they can be cheeky so and so's like that).
good luck for the future *hugs*
2007-12-27 01:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by steven s 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Crying and screaming for 1.5 hours? That is too long....even the "experts" tell you not to let them cry that long. Too me, that is a bit extreme.
2007-12-27 02:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting her in bed with you isnt the answer, but neither is letting her cry. She will only feel insecure if you leave her to cry. I know your pregnant, and exhausted, but try putting a chair in her room, and sitting with her if she wakes up crying. Talk to her, pat her, gently rock the crib, that way, even if she cries, she knows you are there. I work in a daycare center, and we gently shake the cribs to rock the kids to sleep if they are having trouble sleeping. sometimes that soft shaking motion helps. Good luck!
2007-12-27 01:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by hbj 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Chances are, she's picking up on your pregnancy and reacting to it. She know's she's being "dethroned." You did the right thing by letting her cry. Tonight, she won't cry for as long as last night and each night will be less and less as she realizes you're not coming in. With a new baby on the way, you don't want to get into the habit of letting her sleep with you because then you'll get NO sleep with the baby and she won't, either.
2007-12-27 01:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋