My girlfriend wants me to come to Vermont with her and her friends in about a week for vacation, and believe me I would love to go, cause its free lodging in a log cabin, but I've already committed to playing a gig with my band on the 4th, and I'm a man of my word. My girlfriend is absoulutely wonderful and the best girl I've ever been with, and it would mean a lot to her if I went, and I don't want a guilt trip. I would really like to go, but like I said I'm a man of my word, how do I help her understand that I have to do this, my band needs me without making her feel bad, because she said she wouldn;t go unless I went, but she really wants to vacation with me. Any advice would be great. Thanks guys.
2007-12-27 01:24:08 · 17 answers · asked by chrisj7682 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to the guys in the band and get there opinions. If they seem ok with it then go and have yourself a great time. If you have to stay committed to the gig then do it.....If she is as you described then she will be ok with it, eventually lol.
Seriously, just make plans for a future trip and check your scheduling carefully.
2007-12-27 01:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the gig was booked before the vacation. If your girlfriend sends you on a guilt-trip then she is being unreasonable and selfish. Period. I'm surprised that she would want you to back out of a gig; that doesn't seem like it's in your best interest at all.
I know you feel badly but the truth is that she SHOULD understand and she should not be putting you in this position.
Why not be clear with her that while you'd love to go, you just cannot because of the prior committment. Then, tell her that you and her will just have to go on a getaway yourselves, just the two of you. Plan a weekend away for the very near future, and go from there.
Good luck, and please... don't feel guilty. You have done absolutely nothing wrong.
2007-12-27 01:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by snoopy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the transit time is between Vermont and the site of your gig, but couldn't you stay with her until, say the 3rd? That would give you a chance to travel (aware of the current weather), and maybe even squeeze in a rehearsal and sound check before the show. If she's as terrific as you claim, compromise should easily be within your range of available options.
2007-12-27 01:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you're gonna bring the whole band so you can play a gig in Vermont, and they all need free lodging too.
2007-12-27 01:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer. You made a promise to the band and you have a commitment to the client whos expecting you to turn up and play.
Offer to take her away on a long weekend when she gets back. Find some nice four poster bed place with mirrored ceilings and a fancy restaurant nearby.
2007-12-27 01:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look for a compromise. Could you play your gig, then meet her in Vermont? Or vice versa? If that's not possible I would explain it to her just as you did here; you made a previous engagement and you feel you need to stick to your word. Hopefully she'll be mature enough to understand. Good luck!
2007-12-27 01:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you tell her is that you already made a prior commitment that can't be broken.
However, tell her that that idea of spending some special time together would be awesome and you would LOVE to spend a great vacation and have her get together with you sometime to do something really special together.
2007-12-27 01:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made previous plans that you have to keep. Explain that to her, and explain why you can't break your plans. If she doesn't accept that, she's probably not going to accept more major things, causing future problems in your relationship....
Also, like other people said, you could play with your band & then meet her up there...
2007-12-27 01:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by heart_of_music@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make plans for another trip after your gig! Who cares about the expense... you only live once! Tell her to pick where she wants to go & then make it happen so she has something to look forward to! It's called compromise!
2007-12-27 01:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you gave your word and you're a man of your word. Seems to me answers the question.
The only problem that I can see is that you didn't tell her immediately when she asked.
2007-12-27 01:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by pinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋