What would you do?

Question

If you heard two people talking about you in your presence, what would you do? Well, they were not really aware that I could understand them, however I could. I live in a foreign country and look obviously foreign in this so-called mono-nation. So, I was almost in the same room with those people when they began talking about me. Even though they probably didn't say anything bad, it just pissed me off. I told them I could understand they were talking about but I'm still angry! What should I do? What would you have done if it happened to you?

Geez, people, you're making so many assumptions. After all I do know the language well enough to really tell that they were talking about me. And when I told them so they did not deny it. After all I heard MY NAME!

Answer 1

You've already done something; you told them that you could understand what they were saying. If the two people were strangers, then there is nothing else to do about it. If they are people you will see again; then I'd be very courteous to them but would not hold any long converasations with them and I certainly wouldn't tell them any personal information.....because they seem like gossips. I wouldn't do anything else.

While I can understand feeling irritated at the two people; I would not allow myself to stay angry for more than a few minutes. Staying angry hurts you and does nothing to correct their gossiping. Just be cautious about what you say if you are around them again and let it go at that.

Answer 2

This happens to me sometimes too. I work with a number of people who speak a foreign language among themselves and they assume that people not of their background don't understand them. I am not fluent, but I do understand a lot, and most times I can understand what people are talking about even if I don't get all of what they are saying. When I hear them talking about me, I just join the conversation--in their language. I don't even tell them I can understand them, I just start talking. They don't talk about me anymore, and if they do, they turn to me and explain in my language what they were saying.

Answer 3

"Even though they probably didn't say anything bad, it just pissed me off"

In this situation, I would smile and tell them in their own language that perhaps their secret isn't so secret anymore.

As you explained it, you don't even know what they said. Maybe they said "Wow, she's pretty, I wish she knew our language."

Or

"Look at the that, the girl doesn't even TRY to speak our language, that's rude",

Or

"Hey, hows the weather." to their friend, while perhaps admiring you.

Or, maybe something inappropriate.

Here's the deal, you can let them know you understand (but you said you didn't), or eavesdrop for awhile and then repeat something back to them to freak them out (or make them laugh).

Or just brush it off and keep going.

They're showing you rude behavior, but rudeness isn't as big a problem as perhaps picking a fight with them over an innocent comment that had nothing to do with you.

Heck, a fight would be really silly, even after a rude comment.

Answer 4

This did happen to me once. For over two minutes I overheard some putting me down in Spanish. Although Hispanic I have fair skin & red hair, but I speak read and write spanish. when they were done, I calmly and politely told them in spanish that talking about anybody in front of them is not only bad manners and disrespectful, but you never know who is listening. And in the future you schould exercise more caution. The look on their faces was priceless!

Answer 5

Well, not all people are polished and decent...........they dont actually know what is right or wrong..and worst doing it in front of the people or if done intentionally, they will even do it in whispering blues...Sometimes, practices of people differ too, what is bad in some countries may not be in toher countries, just like maybe to what happened to you.....so I guess, better charge that to your experience in life and take it as a grain of salt.............otherwise nothing can be done, you are just ruining your beauty and poise...cheer up, ok?

Answer 6

I'd stand in an area they couldn't see me and listen to what they were saying. If it was good, I'd smile and walk off, if it were bad, I'd walk over to them and start talking in whatever language the were speaking without letting on that I knew they had been talking about me.

Answer 7

Well, unless you've never ever talked about another person when you thought they weren't there/listening, I wouldn't say that you have much of a right to be so mad. You could always confront them, but since it doesn't sound like you really understood what they were saying, I'm not sure how you'd go about that. Get over it.

Answer 8

When I hear my name mentioned in a conversation, if I'm in the area, I will go over to them and jokingly say "Hello... I heard my name mentioned, is there something I can clear up for you"? It usually gets the message across and I'm still being polite too.

Answer 9

Well if it's nothing bad, then whats there to be angry about.. People have right to talk as long as it's correct and without bad attentions.... Hey I could live with that..
Cheers..
Maybe they were talking about how nice you were..

Answer 10

I have been in this situation, and have found that joining in the conversation is the best way to handle this. If you can laugh about it then that makes them feel even worse, because it makes you seem even more so the better person because you are able to laugh at the situation.