What should a single dad of a female 4 yr old do?

Question

I am recieving child support through FRO from the child's mom of $189.00, and that amount will increase shortly.
Am I a super-minority of a dad with a 4 year old girl?
I'm wondering what challenges I may be up against in the future, other than that mom is having a very hard time with diciplining and control of my daughter, and consequently I am having second thoughts about her visitation (10 hrs a week, two days a week.) as she wants to increase it to home visits. She currently has public access only, and I currently have full custody, with all decisions left to me for last say or approval.
I believe her mental condition is deteriorating, affecting my daughter's behavior. It is otherwise good at school and home.Mom is currently married, but now living separately from her mentally disturbed (since childhood) husband, who threatened to kill my daughter.
Opinions or ideas?

P.S. Met with Mom today, and she is total denial that anything is wrong. Problem is, no one else thinks that. Am I going to have to my lawyer to insure her competancy?..otherwise she will want overnites next.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I don't know a lot about this sort of thing, but something that needs to be done if your wife has questionable mental stability, is to arrange supervised visitations. It would be in your daughter's best interest and yours. As you know, everyone is different so it is hard to say what challenges you may face in the future. Kids need to understand their boundaries so it is important that she learns those at an early age. If not, those teenage years will be a nightmare for both of you. Always let her know you love her and always give her hugs and kisses everyday. I have five teenage daughters now and two soon to be teenagers as well. They still give me hugs everyday. It is very cool. Good luck with everything. You sound like a great dad. Keep it up!

Answer 2

If she hangs around with mentally unstable people who threaten to kill your daughter, her visitation should be limited to a short amount of time, say a couple of hours that must be supervised (supervised by you, of course). I am shocked that the mother can get 10 hours of unsupervised time. She is putting the child in jeapordy, and that is abuse and neglect. Just love and support your daughter and keep her doing well as she goes through school. It's not easy to bring up kids today, but your daughter is young and needs your good influence more than anything! Good Luck.

Answer 3

Well, this is difficult because your child's emotions are at stake here.... and it might be hard on her to lose contact with her mom all together.

Have you tried therapy for the child at all? I know she's only four, but child psychologists are great these days... and helpful

I think your daughter should have the option to say whether she wants to continue seeing mom, too... if she just disappeared, how would your daughter feel? (I dont know, im' just posing the question).

You can't say for sure if the mother's mental condition is deteriorating, that is for a psychiatrist to determine.. You could request a psych evaluation if you'd like (through the courts).

take care and i hope things work out for your daughter...

Answer 4

First, don't do home visits unless you are sure that the husband won't be there (maybe supervised visits by a 3rd party). As for what to expect later in life.... There isn't enough time in the day to try and tell you. There are things you can expect, like puberty, boys, alcohol, resentment, anger, joy, curiosity... It's really important to develop a good relationship with your daughter now so when she gets older she has no problem talking to you about things.

Answer 5

Keep visitation to a minimum. Protect your child. Second, read "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson and "Shepherding Your Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp.

You are now in charge of raising your daughter to see that she becomes a productive part of society, responsible, modest, self-respecting, other-respecting, etc. I know we couldn't raise our kids without our faith in Jesus Christ. It gives us and, subsequently, our children a moral compass.

Answer 6

No way in he!! would my daughter be going over there where someone threatend to kill her..im sorry the answer is just no..and thats probably why shes acting up because she doesnt feel like they care about her..and her mother should of went off like crazy about that...im sorry no....just no...