My gf left me because i was caught flirting over the internet, we struggled for 3 months to try to make it work. She left me once but came back and said she couldnt stand a day not talking with me that she misses me so much, but a week later she left me again. She broke up with me in person when i came to surprise her and she seemed really mad and said she doesnt love me anymore and everything i did meant nothing to her. Did she say this out of anger? We have been broken up for a little over a week without communication. I sent her an email expressing that she will always be the only one in my heart. But she didnt reply. On christmas eve she sent me a msg saying that, Its almost christmas, and as a friend i wish you all the best. I gave her space but she replied me with that message, i will never let her go i will fight for this relationship with everything i got. Can some girls give me advice on how to win her back? please dont say move on because i wont. She loved me so much.
2007-12-23 22:57:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if i am honest, if you have been doing things that you shouldn't then she doesn't trust you, and you can't win her back. she has made her choice that she doesn't want to be with someone where she will wonder what you are doing and who you are talking to. you should you learn a lesson from this and when you are with someone, then you shouldn't do anything that will jeopardise the relationship.
2007-12-23 23:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by Loli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, unless it was a short-term relationship, it seems a little extreme for her to leave you for that reason alone. Could there being something you aren't seeing or maybe just that you haven't included in your question? Or, maybe this isn't the first betrayal or dishonest behavior you have demonstrated in the relationship, so that it was "the straw that broke the camel's back," vs. only because you were "flirting over the internet." Or, maybe she is just very insecure and/or in need of having a high level of control?? Seems like a good first step is to get more clarity about why things have unfolded as they have.
If it still makes sense to pursue the relationship, the next thing to do is for you to "make amends." It means much more than an apology, it means a commitment to increased self awareness and changed behaviors.
1) Communicate to her in specific detail why what you did was wrong, how it affected her, what it cost the relationship. Also, after you express that, ask her if there is any important impact that you have missed, because you sincerely want to understand the way in which your betrayal caused her pain.
2) Do what you need to do to be absolutely clear what drove you to do it in the first place. And once you are clear about it, explain it to her and tell her what you are prepared to do to address the underlying issues so that you don't make the same choice in the future.
3) Let her know that you want to re-earn her trust by offering her complete transparency. Not that you should not have healthy boundaries and a sense of privacy, but until she feel comfortable trusting you again, commit to being "an open book," so that whenever she has any doubts about you being truthful, she can say or ask what is needed without fear of a negative reaction.
Best of luck.
2007-12-23 23:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her, don't give up, but continue to give her space. She obviously still feels something for you, or she wouldn't have sent that e-mail. Reply to her in the same tone, like"at Christmas-time I always think of those I care about and wish them the best of everything" This leaves your door open to her without smothering her (Never smother a woman--that may be the problem in the first place since you feel so strongly about her.)
I don't want to discourage you, but for your own sake, please remember that you can't MAKE someone love you. You can only try to do your best. Do you know something about her, something she really likes but hardly anybody knows it? That would be the way to go for a surprise, because nobody but you would think of it. It might remind her how special your bond to each other was. Be patient, and give her all the time she needs. The best things in life are worth working and waiting for!
2007-12-23 23:19:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want to add stalking to your list of offences against this girl, let it go.She has made her decision and you have no further rights ..and if you do pursue her then, believe me, she will soon stop regarding you as a friend of any kind. You say that she loved you so much,as if that is a reason for continuing to try and foist a relationship on her again, but it did not stop you flirting on line, did it?So this is something that matters to you only if you think it can be useful...the only chance you have with her, and it is a slim one at best..is to leave it for her to make the next move.
2007-12-23 23:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by selina.evans 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were flirting over the internet, so what do you expect? A relationship can't work without trust and you betrayed her trust in doing what you did. She's obviously hurt and right, you SHOULD give her some space to think things over. Then when she's had enough time to think things over, fall down on your knees in front of her and beg forgiveness...cry, wail, scream, do the works...then tell her you love her and would do anything to win her back. Then wait and see what happens.....
2007-12-23 23:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Kapes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have no choice in moving on, cause I think you may be beat dude. She obviously cannot trust you anymore...and that is always a deal-breaker. Looks like she tried to make a go of it with you, but in the end, it's a matter of trust. Seems she does not want to hang around and see if she can gain your trust back. Perhaps there is another person in her life... someone else she is interested in??... I don't think there is much you can do to win her back...sorry.
2007-12-23 23:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her so much, then why did you flirt over the internet?
If she 'caught' you, it means you didn't tell her and tried to hide it from her.
Im not going to tell you to move on...try talking to her and asking her why she broke it off. And if you care so much about her in you heart, as much as you say you do, then I don't know why you would have flirted. Yes, it's harmless, but your girlfriend probably doesnt see it that way.
Put yourself in her shoes and see what you would do if you caught her flirting with someone else.
And if she loves you so much...then i bet she is still in love with you.
2007-12-23 23:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last sentence says it all. She loved you. It's all about you, I hope she runs far, far, away from you and you never hurt her again. Go ahead and get on the internet and find someone new, after all it is easier than being up front with someone up close. She is crazy for having you as a friend.
2007-12-23 23:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she love you so much a strange way of showing it if someone says i don't love you any more that's is what they mean leave her along there are laws for bothering others when they have asked you not to it really sounds like she has moved on doing the split she has started a new relationship she is trying to be civil and spare your feeling
2007-12-23 23:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a virgin and I would prefer a guy who also is but I guess it doesn't really matter to me.
2016-05-26 02:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋