We've discussed the wedding several times but now, the tricky question has arised. I am from Detroit and he is From Maryland, however both of us live in the Massachusetts area. My family lives further away from Massachusetts than his family. He only has a few family members to invite, whereas I have many family members and friends to invite and most of them are closer to Michigan. Where should the wedding be that would be fair for the both of us? We are discussing between Boston and Detroit. If the wedding is in Boston, his family can do a one day trip, rent 1 car and leave the same day to head home, whereas if my family had to come to Boston, they would have to stay at least one night, book at least 12-15 hotel rooms, and rent a charter bus. I want to be fair. Any suggestions, comments?
2007-12-23 22:19:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well ... this is just one of those compromising things. Honestly I wouldn't look so much into whose here or there but rather the setting which you want to place your wedding in. Is there a particular spot that your thinking of in either places? A particular meaning which anything has for you? Then also think about the $$? Which is most cost effective? Family and friends will come no matter what. If your looking at what's the best way to make everyone else comfortable it will be more of a hassle then necessary. It's a day for the both of you, decide together the best place that will enhance you special day together which you'll never forget.
2007-12-24 02:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is a tough one. You have to consider other things besides the traveling of friends and family:
1. If you have the wedding in Detroit and live in Massachusetts, you'll be planning long distance, which can get very tricky.
2. Because your family and friends are in Detroit, they could help you out more on the day of.
3. If you are on a limited budget, which location can give you a better wedding for your dollar?
4. If you receive gifts at your wedding in Detroit, how will you get them back to Massachusetts?
Etc., etc.
My suggestion is to list pro's and con's of each location on a sheet of paper. Use the location that has the most pro's. If something is really significant (i.e., family getting hotel rooms), make it work 2 or 3 "cons".
Good luck!
2007-12-24 12:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by ennie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The tradition was that the wedding was in the town of the bride. Since it was the custom the bride's family was giving her a farewell send off & her starting a new life with him & his family.
Now with that in mind, I say have it where the two of you live now. You will have better control of the venue location; when it comes to food tasting, decoration planning and such, you will be able to see it better (visually speaking.)
And since your family will travel more, which is not a bad thing, have some fun ideas to get both your side & his to see where you both will start your new life as hubby & wife.
Congrats.
Ps. Even if you did have to rent a hotel, a bus and such, would it not make the bonding and the partying easier & more rewarding for you? Just a thought. And say you did have it in Detroit, his family would have to do the same...travel, hotel and transportation.
2007-12-24 06:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by TPEvents 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Back in the old, old days when a bride was helpless young thing going from the support and protection of her own family to that of her husband and his family, it was done this way.
First, the bride's parents would sponsor (in their own area) a wedding and some sort of tea, dinner, dance, etc for their own extended family and social circle to meet their new son in law. Then there would be a wedding journey of at least a few days to let the bride get used to her new status away from the curious eyes of her new in laws. Finally, the new couple would arrive at the hometown of the groom and his family, where his parent would give some sort of tea, dinner, dance, etc for their own extended family and social circle to meet their new daughter in law.
I suggest that you do something similar. Instead of choosing between which set of parents will have to travel, do the traveling yourselves and call it a honeymoon. Have a wedding and reception in Detroit, and then a week later have another dinner, luncheon, or some other sort of gathering in Maryland. It may not be the honeymoon of your dreams, but it will certainly let you get hitched without handing a platter of problems to either family.
2007-12-24 10:17:46 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My bf and I are also having the same issue - his family lives 5,000 km away from where my family (and we) live, but he still thinks it's a good idea for us to get married where his family lives.
I think that traditionally the wedding occurs in the bride's hometown. However, it can be difficult to plan a wedding in a town far from where you live, so you should take that into consideration. When my cousin got married last year, all of her family had to travel quite far and stay in hotels, rent cars, etc, in order to go to the wedding. She'd been living in another city and it didn't make sense to get married in the town where her family (including me) and she were from.
People don't mind travelling to weddings if it's for a family member or someone who's important to them.
2007-12-24 10:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it up to the bride? I think you should decide. That's just me, I figure if I ever get married I'm only going to have as much control over the setting, decor, theme, colors, food, reception, etc. as the soon-to-be Mrs. Dan in Real Life will give me!
2007-12-24 06:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by Dan in Real Life 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally the wedding is in the brides hometown and you move to the husbands hometown.
2007-12-24 09:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by a healing adoptee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's traditional to have it in the woman's home town. Don't worry about distance - family and friends who want to will get there!
2007-12-24 10:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering your situation i would suggest getting married in your hometown and that is usually what is traditionally done...but i also suggest this for convenience...even though the people that love you will make an attempt to get there it will be easier for you to plan this in your hometown...since its less on his side they won't have that much difficulty traveling
2007-12-24 12:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by ima gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally people get married in the bride's home town.
2007-12-24 10:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Woods 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋