Relationship Issue?

Question

My boyfriend likes to spend alot of time online in different chat rooms chatting with women who he will sometimes meet in person and on more than one occasion, has brought over while I am at work or at school which I have asked him not to do but he says these women are friends, I should trust him and to mind my own business. What should I do?

Answer 1

Would he like it if you did the same thing?

I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Why bring strange women over to the house that he just met? Doesn't sound like he just wants to have friends.

I would be ok with it if he had genuine friends to meet. He doesn't have to meet these online girls in person to be friends. I would not like it as I know that my friends husband did this. He actually put his add up as wanting a physical fling. He said he just went on there to take the tests they have.

Sit down with him and ask him if the roles were reversed, how would he honestly feel? Tell him you don't like him bringing strange girls over. Tell him what you will and won't tolerate. Also, why not bring them over when you are there? Does he have something to hide?

Sounds fishy to me.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Answer 2

First, it appears that your boyfriend does not respect you.

Second, it appears that he does not understand the obvious conflict of interest in:

(1) trolling the internet for females;
(2) bringing said trolls back to your domicile to do Lord knows what; and
(3) professing his undying love for you all the while.

What you should do next depends on what you are comfortable condoning!

Your vitals are already reeling from the blatant disrespect. If you are comfortable being subjugated in this relationship, then do nothing and this type of bad behavior will continue or become even worse.

If your boyfriend's blatant disrespect is a deal breaker for you, then let him know immediately. What I mean is go beyond asking him to letting him know that you feel violated when he brings over strange females to the house while you aren't at home and that you can not idly sit by and condone, or co-sign, this type of bad behavior. Let him know that this issue is larger than trust. The overarching issues are respect (or lack of it) and transparency of his actions. It almost appears as if your boyfriend is conveniently leading a double life.

If your man loves and respects you, he will show it by choosing you over the trolls. But, if your man chooses the trolls and refuses to stop the blatant disrespect, then you must take decisive action, up to and including leaving him, to make him understand the consequences of his actions.

As far as I am concerned, the safety and well-being of your relationship IS YOUR BUSINESS. When your man jeopardizes the relationship through foolish acts, it is your responsiblity to step up to the plate and tackle the issue directly. Putting your head in the ground and ignoring the red flags provides a false sense of comfort and delays the inevitable.

Answer 3

Eww, creepy. I'm all for friendships but that just sounds fishy. If you were meeting guys in chat rooms and inviting them over when he was out I'm sure he would have a problem with it. I would trust this guy about as far as I could throw him. And the best place to throw him? Out the door.

Answer 4

So you have a boyfriend and he is meeting other women off the net? And they are just friends? What a load of lies. Dont be a fool and believe him. Dump him. He sounds like a dog. A lying cheater. (also i dont think she needs to cut him off, for he is probably also getting some from the women hes meeting off the net)

Answer 5

I am a guy, and if I was chatting with babes on the internet and meeting them for lunch... there had better be a lot more than lunch going down.

I think your boyfriend is a douche bag and he needs to be disposed of.

I just thought of this! You should be careful!! If he is screwing with other babes he could contract an STD!! You want to get rid of him QUICK!

Answer 6

well if u trust him then thats all that matters, but u do have a reason to be suspicious because it is a posibility that hes cheating or messing around with ohter woman. Ask him about it and see how that works out if he refuses to answer then qustion ur trust or trick him make a fake screename and talk 2 him in the chat room and see wat he wants 2 do if he was 2 meet u in person.
hope this helps
ps: can i be ur best answer? lol thanks

Answer 7

If you're not comfortable with it - it isn't right. and it will damage the relationship eventually. If he can't understand this. it may be time to let him go.... obviously, he is refusing to let go of the fact that he's in a committed relationship.... and this isn't the sort of behaviour a 'partner' should be taking part in. honey. you really need to express the way this is making you feel.... it will eat you up. and last but not least= it is DAMN RIGHT your business.

Answer 8

It sounds a bit suspicious
Let him know that its really making you feel uncomfortable

or, do the same thing (not so much meeting people off the internet) see how he feels =p

<3

Answer 9

I would talk to him & ask why he feels the need to bring these strangers over. I don't blame you for being mad. Why would he invite them over in the first place. what if it some guy who is pretending to be a girl.let him know how you feel. I don't think I would trust him.

Answer 10

If you asked him not to have the women over but he does anyway, he is saying he will make the rules and the devil with you and your wishes. This lack of respect will not improve.