I answered a question a while ago (How should men treat women). My response was that she should be treated with love and respect. But I added that most women don't seem to like this. Paraphrasing my answer, I said women seem to (emphasize seem to) prefer being ignored, cheated on, sometimes even beaten. I base this on pretty much any woman I've come across so far who has a boyfriend.
I have yet to find a girl with a boyfriend who isn't being mistreated in some way. I know they exist, but the fact that they are so hard to find would suggest they are in a minority.
I know a lot of good guys who just want someone to care about, and they are usually alone. If they aren't alone, they usually wind up being so soon after.
If women want guys to treat them right, then why do they almost always go for the loser who treats them wrong? When there are so many nice guys out there, why go for th bad ones? And why do you then complain there are no good guys?
2007-12-23 20:59:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If good guys got girls and bad guys did not, I'm fairly certain you would quickly see a rise in the amount of good guys available.
So why go for the bad ones?
2007-12-23 21:00:22 · update #1
Fair enough Alisa, but does that mean you should say yes to the bad one?
I used to ask fairly often, and I have gotten my share of yes's. But after losing more than one to other guys, I got kind of tired of going through the motions. I know I'm not the only good guy who did.
And for the first answerer (I didn't catch the name when I started this), I don't think women do go for the better looking ones. I know I'm not the best around, but I've never lost to a better looking guy. This I know.
I wouldn't have liked it, but I could understand losing to a better looking guy. But there hasn't been one yet. There was the guy with the ears (looked like he was trying to fly), the guy with the lumpy head (and you'd think he'd be smart enough to grow his hair back out), the scrawny individual (he was 6 ft tall and weighed 140 lbs); at some point I've got to think it isn't the looks either.
2007-12-23 21:12:58 · update #2
I think boredom is the answer. We women tend to be bored by "nice" guys who want to do everything for us, have no opinions ("what ever you want to do is fine with me"), and generally have no backbone. Worse yet the ones who are divorced and still let their ex rule their world "because it's just easier".
This isn't to say that we want an abusive ****** either, but in trying to find a balance between good and "bad", this is sometimes what we find.
Personally, I just want a guy who stands up for himself, says what he feels and means - not what he thinks I want to hear, is intelligent and uses his intelligence, and doesn't take himself too seriously.
2007-12-23 21:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We dont go for the bad ones... the bad ones shop in a store and purchase while the good ones wait in line... or view from the window... It seems to me like the good ones are always to shy or never make their intentions known... and when a women falls in love her heart is usually faithful... so yes it is hard to leave a man u love when he doesnt treat u right, u get attached, and yes i have been there done that, but now im 4 weeks pregnant, and leavin may not be the best option... Good Luck on finding a good girl, just be urself but dont be scared to make the first move...
2007-12-24 05:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
personaly i think each person has a magnet or asmellabout them that attracts the same type of guy ,like if you have been with a gut that abused you somehow the next guy in time does the same thing .
why do we stay with them
1.. we thinkit may get better
2 .. we r affraid of the unknown
3... people think better the devil you know than the devil you dont
4 ... becaause i still think men live in the cave man stage e.g
u stay at home while i drink ( cavemen use to hunt) our men drink.
i think it is sad and there must me so many guys out there that would not swear at the wife/ partner and for some reason women do not attract them
its really confusing why women put up with crap off men
i still think when men yell at some women they (the women) get scared and noone has the right to scare any one
happy xmas
2007-12-24 05:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lindylu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know lots of good men, advertise them. I have been single for the past 3 years, because the only men I seem to come across are bad ones and old ones. (I think I've also been single for so long because I won't put out.) But point being, several women in my position, can't be alone for so long, so they settle for anything they feel is realistic. Good men are a mere fantasy to them. And several men in my area have heard about these types of women, making them not put up with, or work hard to earn the benefits, because they (the desperate women) are lonely, and sleep with anybody just to have someone in their life.
2007-12-24 05:27:28 · answer #4 · answered by ‹(•¿•)› 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Guys will treat women as bad as they let them. I guess because they don't feel as if they can get better, or the really nice guys come off to needy. In my case my boyfriend treats me good but some times he gets in his mood's and I take it. I always use to say if a guy started acting stupid I wouldn't put up with his shiit. But you become so attached so consumed, so needy,you loose sight of how your suppose to be treated.
2007-12-24 05:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by ♫Autumn♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since i primarily dated bad boys and now ended up with a good guy that actually loves me and I consider my friend.....I really had to make a conscious decision to find someone better and someone different to get out of the cycle. I think with bad boys it's kind of a game....they want you until you want them...then once they have you....they get bored. but the girl is already attached so she holds on thinking the guy she fell in love with is really the way he was in the beginning. but it was just a game
2007-12-24 05:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Bee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is an excellent question. i feel the same myself. luckily, i have a good man but i know quite a few friends who dont and then tell me ive taken the last one. i know this cant be possible though, i know loads of good men who are just waiting for someone to love them, but all these girls are attracted to the bad boy attitude. i dont know why, and i dont know how to stop them, we can only hope theyll realize it someday.
2007-12-24 05:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by ohyes_itsbekah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman but I can tell you it's because they go for the good looking ones rather than the ones they like for who they are. I'm one of those guys looking for somone to care about. Although I'm only 14 I'm desperate for someone who I can really talk to and enjoy it, but I'm too nervious around girls to start a conversation.
2007-12-24 05:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me that I could ask you the some question. Why are you going for the women that do that. instead of the nice women? Try reevaluating your method of choosing girls.
2007-12-24 05:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls dont just run for the guys who treat them bad, we didnt know that they are bad for us in the beginning, until we're too deep in love with them, because they used to be so sweet, and we blamed ourselves for making them bad, we think we can rescue them and change them (be their saviour, their angel), but deep down we know, it's not our fault and we cant change them, we just need A LOT of confirmations, from friends or whoever who cares about us
2007-12-24 05:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by natalia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋