i ve only met my father once and he rejected me... should I reach out to him?

Question

I met my father twhen I was 14 . I'm now 27 . I was wondering should I reach out to him in the spirit of forgiveness? I have 2 sons of my own and they have enough grandparents. I would be doing this for me not them...

Answer 1

Nah...dont. I am in the same ship like you. But the thing is if he rejected you then what makes you think he wont this time around..it might hurt you more now that you have sons and they will feel that the grand parent rejected them too. Hey move on...you been able to do most of the things without him...the kids can too.

Answer 2

Personally I think it would be bad to end your relationship because you've only met him once. So much could have changed in the course of 13 years! He may of rejected you but if you give him another chance then at least you tried! You then won't have a guilty conscience from not reaching out to him. One chance is all you need!
As for your sons (you said they have enough grandparents) but they still might try and find their grandpa when they are older and if they find him before you it might look slightly bad.
Think of the best possible scenario and the worst.
Best: You find you two have a lot in common and you have a great relationship with each other and you feel annoyed that you didn't find him again sooner
Worst: he rejects you again.

Well You know what I think. Maybe he will accept you more now you are more mature. You will feel less of a burden to him because you can look after yourself and not rely on him as much.

Hope this helps-What have you got to loose?

Plus it's CHRISTMAS!



Good luck :-)

Answer 3

I wouldn't, your too good to put yourself out like that and take the chance at being rejected. If your father rejected you at 14 you don't need him in your life or your childrens life. I would stop calling him your father and realize he is just a man who makes his own choices and doesn't deserve you.
If he ever approaches you and wants to have you in his life then you could try to forgive him if you want. But if the man rejected you at 14 then he probably did it for his own selfish reasons and he doesn't deserve you.
Also if he hurt you do you want to take the chances that he could hurt your sons. Children deserve to be loved by everyone, I don't know if a person who rejected their own 14 year old is capable of loving grandchildren.
I definetly don't think it is worth it. Also you can forgive him without makeing him apart of you life. Forgiveness doesn't also mean Trusting and accepting.

Answer 4

Only reach out if you truly, truly want to and feel you need to. You haven't had your father there for you all this time, so what has changed now. He is the father and you are the child, it is not up to you to reach out because you did not ask to come here and his not acknowledging you thus far, well then, in all honestly, THE HELL WITH HIM. Don't look for something that is not there and why should you possibly want to put yourself and your children through that. This all depends on you, no one else, so what you feel is right you do and I hope whatever your choice is that you can truly make peace and closure with the situation. To you and yours, Merry Christmas and God Bless.

Answer 5

In some cases, a father thinks that he can't handle kids, so he runs off, playing the macho free-bird. Often he is disappointed in his choice, and may feel resentment towards himelf, and maybe you too. I would say, go for it, but don't set yourself up for disappointment. Don't get high hopes in case something goes wrong. It's possible that your father is waiting for you, and that he's just scared or has too much pride to find you. You should keep your guard up though for sure. God has a plan for you and your father. If things don't work, then you must trust God and believe that it's for the better. I wish you luck in your decision. But don't bring him into your children's lives until you are sure that it's a permanent thing. You wouldn't want them to go through such a loss.

Answer 6

If you are doing it for you, then you already know what you need to do... I, as well didn't have my father growing up...only met him once when I was 3 (my mother left him when she was 6 months pregnant with me) Him and I now talk often over the phone...As friends...He always has tried to talk to me as my daughter but I only acknowledge him as my friend...And happy to have his friendship...If you reach out to him...You will most likely only get friendship out of it because he as already made the decision to not be a proper father...Best of luck!

Answer 7

ok, well, I totaly believe that if he wanted anything to do with you,he should be looking for you since he is your father,but it maybe that he doesnt know how to go about it or that he is scared of rejection from you.
its a tough call - if you do it and he rejects you again,are you going to be ok with that ?
if you descide, I would try it by phone first
but ubderstand that if you do and he rejects you again,,that its not you,,its him and its his loss because
not only is he missing out on the chance to know what a wonderful son he has,but he is also missing out on the chance to know what beautiful granbabies he has

Answer 8

Definitely. Forgiveness is the best thing you can do for yourself and you never know, perhaps your father is afraid to approach you because of all the time that's passed.
Good luck!

Answer 9

Write a letter and if you don't get a reply forget it.
Also put a family picture of yours in there so he can see it.
Otherwise no response go on with out him.

Answer 10

He rejected you and has not contacted you in all these years, I would say no. All you are going to get is heartache.