Advice needed, I have a baby on the way with my g/f, I don't feel I'm in love?

Question

I am 27 and I have been dating my g/f who is 29 for about 2 years. In early November, I told her I wanted to end the relationship because I didn't feel it was going anywhere and I though I was falling out of love with her. She took it REAL hard and so after a lot of begging, pleading, crying, promising, etc, I agreed to give it another chance. Well, things havn't really changed much. It's nothing with her personally, she's a nice girl, I just don't feel the love that I once did and I don't want to keep going in a relationship that I don't think has a future. Anyway, today she dropped a bombshell on me. She told me she's 12 weeks preg accedently and she's keeping it. I was planning on breaking up again but after New Years (I was gonna spare her the heartbreak over the holidays) but now I don't know what to do! She's been on the pill the whole time we've been dating so I never thought to wear a condom. Should I stay with her now or not? I can't see myself ever loving her.

Answer 1

I am 25 and me and my guy weren't careful after dating for 10 months and I ended up getting pregnant. He wasn't anything near the person I wanted to end up with and it's been nothing but on and off hell for 5yrs. Each year we grow further apart and now after the holidays I am leaving him for good only now I have 2 kiddos with him and that makes it tough. You follow your heart and do what you want. As long as, that baby gets love and support from you then that is all that matters. Happy parents that are seperated are better for the child than a disfunctional relationship.

Answer 2

You can still be a good, supportive father and friend without being in a romantic relationship. If you stay together for the "sake of the baby" it can open a Pandora's Box. Not only will you be unhappy, but the child will pick it up. Better to have a healthy platonic relationship with the mother (which may take awhile, but is certainly not impossible) and be there for the child then to remain in an unhappy setting. Good luck!

Answer 3

I agree with most of what the mob said. Follow your heart. You shouldn't stay in a relationship because your girlfriend is pregnant.. that's a weak excuse. Men can always be good friends and fathers, but not be in a commited relationship.

Tell her the truth when the holiday is over. Tell her calmly and even though she might take it horribly like before when you tried the first time, say you're sorry and that it's over. It'll be worthwhile if you say you feel no love in this relationship.

Answer 4

Too late for that!

Now you need to figure out how you are going to be a good father and Husband.

You have created a kid that now deserves parents that care and do for them. It is not their fault.

The child also has a requirement of family. This means that you treat Mom like she should be treated, Heck she is having your kid, no little thing!

Time to grow up DAD. Responsibility does not get to pick and choose the easy way.

Good luck and Merry Christmas. It only gets better from here.
Oh yeah! You don't get to choose when you become a grandpa either! Start making more money, You Will Need It.

Answer 5

Shocked???

Don't be where you don't want to be. Hate to sound harsh, you can reject the feelings your gf has for you, BUT you can't reject your responsibilities towards the child and your gf as the mother.

Both will need your long term emotional, financial and parenting support, but that doesn't mean staying in a relationship with gf.

Gonna cramp your style a little!! Keep it in your pants or use a condom if you don't like surprises

Answer 6

Tell her you don't want to be with her as a husband or lover but you will be a Father to your child. In order to have good will with the Mother of your child as well as bring about a closeness for yourself with the baby--You need to walk the pregnancy with her meaning be there for her special needs concerning the child. It does not mean that you jump when she needs the pickles and mustard but allow her to call you when something happens with the child or take the Lamaze class with her, or even go in when she has the baby and cut the cord. I went through pregnancy by myself and one of the worst things was not being able to share the joy of the child with the Father.

Answer 7

I believe that you have to stay; if it is not for her sake, then it is for the sake of your baby. Try to work things out; talk about the stuff you both are not comfortable with, manage your anger, learn how each other thinks, etc.
Put on your mind that pregnancy makes women stressed and frustrated.
Also you can both read books like "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars", "Who Moved My CHeese?" and other self-development books; this will definitely help.
Yours,
Laura Phelip

Answer 8

talk to her about it, don't go threw with the relationship just because you want to do the ' right thing' i mean yes of course don't leave her on the street but make her understand that you`ll be there for her and the baby just not as a husband figure to her, but a father only. tell her up front so it doesn't complicate things in the future. its your responsibility to help her with the child, but not yours to be in love with her. she wont understand at first, but give it time and she will understand that you two aren't meant to be together but you will be there for her and your child.

Answer 9

This happened to me and I never met my dad. If you do leave her which you should do if you dont love her. You need to still act like a friend and a father. You dont want to push the baby out of your life. Good luck

Answer 10

You answered your own question, when you said "I never thought". It seems sometimes that guys leave it up to the girls
to always use birth control. Do you like your dad? Well, it kind of sounds like your little one, which you created, isn't going to be liking you much either. Do you think your dad wanted you when you were born? Just a question. My dad didn't, and we all payed for it.