Should I say anything?

Question

My fiance's son is very heavy for his age: about 120 pounds and 6 years old. I know what most of the problem is, overfeeding. He eats more than I do much of the time. Second helpings are the norm, even the first plate is more than I gave one of my children when they were 6. I have 3 kids, by the way. I have a couple of times expressed my concerns, but it doesn't seem to do anything. He simply excuses it by saying he is just going to be a big man. My fiance is 6'6". This kid has to hoist himself up off of the couch, and cannot run very fast, until you call him for dinner anyway. You could feed him, and 5 minutes later, he is saying that he is hungry. I worry about him, not because of the weight itself, but because of higher ris of illnesses. What should I do??

Thanks, Jenna, for answering. I have actually done those things, and he still doesn't seem to care. Tonight for instance, his son have about 1 1/2 pork chops, 2 heaping servings of potatoes, and one large serving of vegetables. I do have to say that his son does pretty much eat anything, and I have suggested that if he were to have seconds, that it be mostly vegetables, or maybe an apple or something.

Answer 1

First of all, I commend you for trying to look out for him, and his health. You set a great example for stepparents. Second, have you ever taken him to his pediatrician to rule out an illness? Some diseases/conditions exhibit signs and symptoms of constant hunger and weight gain, and fatigue. Thryoid problems, comes to mind right off hand. And I know there are numerous others. (I don't mean to worry you)
I know you said that his father just dismisses it, but what about his mother? Is she in the picture? Have you discussed your concerns with her?
I recommend taking him to his pediatrician to have lab tests/a full physical done to rule out any diseases/conditions and then go from there. Good luck!
Happy Holidays

Answer 2

Yes you should certainly say somethin to your fiance, but don't make it an issue for the 6 yr old. He's just a kid, and doesn't need that kind of pressure.

Why not put the entire family onto a healthy eating plan. I'm not saying that he should diet, but if there's no seconds, then he'll have to eat a piece of fruit, or a carrot or something. You might find he's eating seconds out of habit, or boredom rather than actually wanting more food. Talk to him about healthy eating, in the same way that you would speak to any 6 yr old about it, and encourage movement in the entire family - is it possible to all go on an evening walk or something? Remember though, that a 6 yr old can not buy themselves food. If he's putting on weight through over eating, then the simple solution is to ensure that excessive amounts of food are simply not available. Don't cut seconds out straight away, but rather make them smaller, and gradually work down to no seconds. Cut back on sugary foods, for the whole family, not just the 6 yr old, it wont hurt anyone. And when he's saying he's hungry 5 minutes later, unfortunately you're going to have to be strong (as will your fiance) and simply say no.

Best of luck; you are totally coming at this from the right place, and he is so lucky to have someone looking out for him.

Answer 3

You have to be really careful that it does NOT sound like you're criticizing either your fiance's son, or the way he is being brought up. He will just get deffensive. Approach this problem as a health issue. You are concerned for the child's wellbeing. His size is not healthy, and his eating habbits need to be addressed now, as they will be carried on into adulthood. It will be MUCH harder for him to change them when he is in his 30s than it is right now.

I would suggest that he have a big glass of water just before he eats. It is amazing how filling this is, and he won't want to eat as much. Also, it takes something like 20 minutes for the stomache to 'tell' the brain that it's full, so it would be a good idea for him to eat more slowly. These are some tips you can pass on to the boy yourself. You could even have a '15 minute' rule, where you are only allowed to have a second helping 15 minutes after everyone has finished. As for taliking to your fiance, be gentle and just tell him you are really really concerned, and ask him to take him to a dietition to find out how much and what he should be eating. This will also convince him that his son is unhealthy.
Finally, exercise is imortant. Enroll him in a tennis camp. Do you have a dog? The family can walk him/her together. You could even get one for the boy. It is important for him to have some alone time with his father, so they could walk the dog together too.

Hope this helps!!! Good luck.

Answer 4

"What should I do??" Since this is not your child there really isn't anything YOU can do other than express your concerns and tell your fiance that the child needs to be seen by a doctor. IF the doctor doesn't think there is a problem you might suggest a second opinion to your fiance but that is ALL. You are not to determine how much someone else's child gets to eat or what they eat and if you are not a doctor you have no right diagnosing the child as being overweight. If the mother is around you might speak with her (if she is open to the prospect) or you can write to her if she is unaware of the problem. Sounds to me as if both parents are enabling this child's bad habits and since you don't have the right to correct him they will continue.

Answer 5

the child has an eating disorder for whatever reason.

these days they have discovered eating disorders and overweightness can be genetic. some people can eat all day and still think they are "hungry"

the could could also be suffereing from emotional pain, so is eating to "fill" his emotions.

i feel for the poor little guy. 120 lbs is way too much for a 6 year old, unless he's 5'4" and i'm sure he's not nearly that tall.

the best thing that could happen to the kid is to be taken to his pediatrician for help and advice... but his father has to WANT TO help the child and recognize there is a problem. and he may never...

Answer 6

Talk to your fiance again and let him know that you are really concerned. Maybe even tell him that his son should get into some sports programs, like a fun soccer team with other boys his age. I'm sorry, but 120 pounds for a six-year-old is VERY unhealthy and is a problem that needs to be addressed!

Answer 7

Just point it out to your fiance. Tell him you're just concerned, and it's nothing personal but...you think you could help! Be posotive, rather than neggative....Show the good not the bad, and he will probably listen. ALthough, it might be smart, too get online and study obesity illness risks in young children on google or something, and point out all the bad things there are. It's not mean, just letting him know what' he's putting his child to risk for.

Answer 8

If you've already told your fiance your concerns I'd bring in the health professionals. Take them both to a doctor and let them point out the health risks and check him over. I really feel for the poor boy.

Answer 9

dont make big meals, that can affect his weight. like before you said potatoes, porkchops and other stuff.. instead serve salad first. he can have plenty of that, then servec hicken or something, thats way healthier than porkchops. if you make the dinner, i can also be your fault because you are making such fattening meals.
otherwise, you should tell you fiance that you are goin to switch the foods in that house.

Answer 10

Does this child see a doctor? I'm surprised they haven't become involved. Many talk shows have done segments on this, maybe you need to find one and have your finace watch it. He could be killing this kid.