My fiance has suggested that we move in with his parents and i dont know what to do. I've got another year before i can start working full time. I reside with roomates and he lives with his family. The thought of me moving in with them makes me want to not get married besides i dont think his parents are too excited about me. We cant afford to support them and live on our own right now but if we did we would be dead broke especially trying to keep up the lavish lifestyle that they are accustomed to. Any ideas, suggestions? There are other family members that can chip in but they dont, so all finances rest on us, should i suffer it out or put my foot down, I have a feeling if i was to agree to live temporarly in the house my fiance would get comfertable and would never want to leave
2007-12-23 17:12:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well thing is all of his funds go to supporting them and the reason why they live a lavish lifestyle is because he spoils them... so its either we live with them or pay for 2 households...there are other family members but they dont support in finances...i dont know this is a touchy subject should we say something to the other family members? im seriously considering making a break from this situation because i think the family would resent me for changing things and stealing him away.
2007-12-23 18:04:37 · update #1
Money problems is the number one reason for so many devorces today!!! Cheating spouses is number two! It seems your Boyfriend ( husband to be) Has a way different culture of life then yours! He supports his parents!
And as long as he is willing to do that even though his other family members don't! Well that could turn into a huge mess after your married!!! And it seems it really bothers you! And you really don't want to get involved in a problem like that, you will never be totally happy! I would say the best thing for you is to make a break of the whole relationship and find a man who will be with you a 100% as a husband, you don't need a man who's going to support his parents lavish lifestyle! There won't be enough left for you and your children you would be having!
I would just get out of the relationship as fast as you can and go on with your life, Mr. Right will come around!!! You deserve better then back seat to your boyfrend's parents! A marriage is 50/50! and you won't have any where near that marrying your boyfriend you have now!!! You will always be taking back seat to his parents when it comes to money!!!
And that's probablly why there not head over heels with you being close to be becoming there daughter in law, they already can tell you have a mind of your own and there most likely are afraid you will change there son from feeding them so much money!!! I feel his parents are very disrespectful for taking so much money from there son and yet they don't get a dime from the rest of the family, that is very degrading! I sure wouldn't want to be related to them!!!
And I wouldn't think you would either! Be smart and run the other way while you still can!!! or you may end up living a marriage nightmare!!!
2007-12-23 18:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move in over there, it's hard to get out of those situations. If it's going to be an issue then there are some things you two need to sit down and talk about and get in order. It's hard to turn your back on family so asking him to do so is in a way harsh, however when he proposed he said he wanted to start a life and family with you. You being unhappy in a situation like that isn't good for anyone involved at all.
I'm in a similar situation, except my mother-in-law wants to move into our home. *sighs* It's such a touchy situation. Just make sur eyou are open and honest about how you feel because it's not a pretty thing to get into and try to get out of. Who knows you may find out that your plans of future lie in two completely different parts of the world and this could be a blessing in disguise
good luck!!
2007-12-24 01:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have bad feelings about living with your in-laws and you already know the answer is a resounding NO DON'T DO IT! Living with in-laws or family in general as a couple is a set up for disaster, anyway.
Perhaps just remain in the situations you are living now... if he doesn't have a JOB, maybe he needs to get one? You two need to figure out ways to support yourselves, by yourselves.
It's nice when family can help, but they are not required to give you money, nor are you required to help your in laws with their so-called "lavish lifestyles".
Live your life the way which suits YOU. You only life once, why put yourself in a situation which you know is going to be miserable?
He can wait until he can afford RENT to live with you, i'd think?
take care.
2007-12-24 01:49:25 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest taking your sanity and leaving. The inlaws will resent you and probably making your miserable for interfering or trying to change an arrangement they all seem quite comfortable with. Living with them will only worsen it. I'd lay down the law with your fiance. Put your relationship and finances first or be gone. It's a no win situation that will only get worse with time. Do NOT marry this momma's boy. It will make you miserable. Best of luck!
2007-12-24 05:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't work out and you would be very unhappy. If you can't take care of eachother then don't do it. Get a great education and find a part time job. You will be happy with him and you only. Away from everyone. The relationship is with you and him not the family and him
2007-12-24 01:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Leonidas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smart girl. Get your education and then a good job, then marriage.
This is one good question that proves multiple marriages are bad from the start. Multiple In-laws.
You have the right to do the right thing. Stay smart. and oh yeah! Merry Christmas.
2007-12-24 01:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by noyoungun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why would you have to support your in-laws? And, second and most importantly, the biggest mistake of your life would be to move in with your in-laws. Believe me, you will regret it if you do. Not a good idea at all. Nightmare!
2007-12-24 01:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not move in with them unless you want your life to be over. I also wouldnt consider marrying a guy who is supporting them cuz you will always come last.
2007-12-24 02:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my in-laws for 3 years. That helped us to save money. Just agree to go only half on everything you pay. I love my mother-in-law, she's like my 2nd mom. It isn't always bad.
2007-12-24 01:40:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
stay where you are now and if he can't accept that then he really dont like you. moving into any relatives house is a strain even if it is your own
2007-12-24 02:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋