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Ever since I've met my sis in law 10 years ago, she is constantly starting arguments with her family. She's verbally attacked me and my husband all because she misunderstood something, &never apologized once she realized she was wrong. She's rude to her mother, she bosses her boyfriend around and everyone else in her family. She is starting to make it to where no one wants to get together for the holidays. Her family usually sticks me and my brother in law's wife, C with the cooking at their own houses. Then they insist everyone be there at a specific time because the sis in law wants it that way. This year, me and C bowed out gracefully to try to get her to understand how it is to plan it around everyone. She was hateful again saying she was "ready to get this shite over with"! After she was the one causing the uproar about where to have it and what time again! Should I suggest she get on some medication or is she just a ******

2007-12-23 16:56:43 · 6 answers · asked by MomOfThreeBoys 3 in Family & Relationships Family

Uh, no, its all the time. We all live in the same town. I can't ignore her because we have a lot of family get togethers. And because heck, she'll call people it seems just to start some stuff with them

2007-12-23 17:02:23 · update #1

Another note...if she doesnt get her way, she calls her mom and grandma who then call us and my bro in law whining. Its ridiculous how this family caters to her and only her.

2007-12-23 17:06:27 · update #2

6 answers

Hi....

Your sister in law has some anger crammed in her brain somewhere that she's not dealing with so she takes it out on others...she blows a lot of hot air, and it has nothing to do with you.

However, why put up with it? Why listen to it? Why not just turn and do something else instead?

Dont be intimidated by a hot head.... or someone who doesn't know how to be kind, and normal, and QUIET around others.

When the other answerer said "ignore her" they didn't mean to pretend she doesn't exist.. but just gather your dignity, act like a lady and SMILE...then go about your business.. if she tells you to sweep up the floor or cook something, let her know she needs to start asking you politely. If she doesn't like it, tough sh*t. If she tells you to do something and you have already done your share, let her know -- "I've already done my share, do it yourself."

Set some PERSONAL BOUNDARIES with your sister in law. If you do not know what personal boundaries, are, you can do a Yahoo search on Setting Personal Boundaries, which will give you a lot of good information.

Personal boundaries are about self-preservation. You can still go to large, family functions, but you do not have to be bossed or intimidated by people who try to walk on you like a door mat.

That is what your sister in law is doing... walking on people.

Be the first to stop the insanity and try personal boundaries.

2007-12-23 17:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0 0

Here's a thought. You and your husband plan to have Christmas at your house. You invite people you want to be there who will be pleasant company. You have a right to peace in your life and you have a right to say no to people who take advantage of you.

"...she was "ready to get this shite over with"!" Sounds like it's time you and C put your foot down and get some of this shite over with for yourselves. Your sister in law is obviously a very unhappy person. That doesn't give her the right to inflict her misery on everyone else. Don't buy into it. Start your own holiday traditions.

2007-12-24 01:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0 0

wow i have the same problem my sister inlaw always plays games and broke up my two brothers there ok now took 2 years shes pure evil she hurts people feeling anyways u know what i do i dont play her games i bet her at her own game i consatrate on my niece and new nephew and my brother and have a good time she wants u to me unhappy so she feels like she has control over u and your emotions even if i get drunk i will be numb to her negativity its a power trip i dont fall for it i bought her a birthday gift just to be nice and she said it was a joke gift because it didnt fit she wears tight stuff anyways thats my advice and experience

2007-12-24 01:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by dvcgurl 7 · 0 0

Umm, she's only a sister in law. Ignore her. It's only once a year.

2007-12-24 01:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by Shadow 6 · 0 0

Cook something, poop in it, and tell everyone but her not to eat it. Then you can all sit around laughing about how she ate poop.

2007-12-24 01:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

She's just a *********. whose unhappy with her life. Stay away from her; you don't want her negativity to rub off.

2007-12-24 01:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0 0

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