I have a friend whom I have communicated with since middle school and we get together a few times during the year. A few years ago she was getting married and asked me to be in her wedding. The wedding never took place though. Now I am getting married and do not want to ask her to be a bridesmaid, but I know she assumes she is going to be one. I want her to be part of the wedding but I think asking her to do something else will only be an insult. My fiance and I have dated five years and he barely knows her and I don't feel like the friendship is much more than very casual. Any help at all is welcomed.
2007-12-23 16:01:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just ask her to do something. Say something like "It would mean so much to me if you would read a poem at my wedding."
Don't say anything about her not being a bridesmaid, just act like it would be the best thing in the world if she would read something for you.
2007-12-23 18:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by paganmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say things in the negative, like you don't say - you're not going to be an attendant. That would just be rude. If she happens to ask who the bridesmaids are, you just tell her.
However, it would be nice if you asked her to maybe do a reading at the ceremony, be an usher, etc.
2007-12-24 10:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look chill! If she's your m8 then she'll understand.
Just invite her, But serouisly have members of your family as bridesmaids cuz otherwise she'll get mad.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-24 01:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give her the chance to assume anything - find something you'd like her to do to participate in the ceremony, and let her know that now.
2007-12-24 01:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by Fluff S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say anything to her UNLESS she brings it up.
Then say "I've already picked out and asked my wedding party". or something similar like "I'm sorry, I'd love to have asked you but I already have the number I need, but I'd LOVE for you to do a reading/whatever task"...
2007-12-25 17:47:48 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That can be a grueling situation...
In regards to my own potential situation for becoming married sometime in the future, I have determined it would be better to elope than to have to choose one friend over particular others.
Your best bet I think would be to write her a letter; that way you will not screw it up.
2007-12-24 01:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, whoever you choose to be your maid-of-honour or your bridesmaids, explain to her how important they are to you -- that is, if she asks why you didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid.
2007-12-24 00:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by foodjunkie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you don't say anything to her.......she will know when you don't ask her that she isn't going to be a bridesmaid (she'll probablly be happy about it, you brides really overrate being one of your maids)
2007-12-24 00:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do say anything to her. just send her an invitation if you are willing to invite her
2007-12-26 01:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by Nora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well why would she get that impresion in the first place =/
2007-12-24 00:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋