suvivor of a suicide victim??

Question

im 17 my father commited suicide 3 weeks ago it still so fresh to me and some parts of me feel that hes still here while other parts of me wish i could have done something to prevent it. now that hes gone i try to be strong when im around people, but when im by my self i break down. sometimes im numb to the fact that hes gone and i act like nothing happend..i miss him so much that sometimes i think that i would be willing to take my own life just to be with him again.. but hell whos to say when we die we reunite with our loved ones whos to say that we just dont lie in box internally until we eventually rot.. and thats it .. thats the end .. but he was all i knew for most of my life and theres still so much i need him for still .. anywho my question is ARE MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW normal?

Answer 1

Oh hon, I am so deeply sorry to hear your father suicided. I know it leaves you with so many unanswered questions and feeling that you somehow should have known. But you CANNOT blame yourself for not preventing it, it just doesn't work that way. It's a choice your dad made and you are the one left behind wondering why now. I know too well....

I am also a survivor...my 25 year old son suicided 2 years ago on Dec 1. I've had all the feelings you described and more and YES honey, they are all normal. Anything you feel is normal when you are grieving the loss of a loved one. We all deal with it and grieve in our own way.

Some, like me, will shut out the rest of the world, cover their heads with the covers, lie in bed until you nearly rot, not speaking or seeing anyone for weeks on end. Just lie there crying & gasping for air because your grief is so horrifying you actually forget to breathe. Going on no sleep, staring at the walls, recalling every little detail of the life you shared. Maybe even forgetting to eat for days. Then one day you will snap out of it and get up and take one step at a time until you get back to semi normal self again. How long it takes is different for everyone.

May I suggest when you feel up to it perhaps an online support group for children of suicides? I joined a parents of suicides group soon after my son died. You don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. Just reading what others have to say may help you heal or learn how to let the feelings out theraputically.
Then when you are farther along in your journey you may want to choose 1 or 2 others whose story is close to your own to share with one on one.
I found comfort the first year among other people who knew just what I was going through. It was easier to talk to strangers than to family who just wanted to pretend it never happened.
May you find Peace and Comfort. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. I have lost one friend to suicide and I was devastated. You will go through periods of denial and pretend everything is back to normal and thats ok, its just one of the many stages of lossing someone special. There are generally 5 stages of grief:
1. Denial-not accepting this has happened
2. Anger- "Why me?"
3.Bargaining-"I will do such and such if I could just have him back."
4.Depression-Overwhelming feeling of bitterness, hopelessness, self pity, and frustration
5. Acceptance-Accepting the things that have happened.

I know how hard this is and I want you to know that you and your family will be in my prayers. I really hope to best for you and your family. But one thing you NEED to do is talk about it, now matter how much it hurts, weather is be with friends, family or a professional. It helps in the long run. God bless.

Answer 3

Yes, they are and you seem to be someone to not get over but go on. If you ever have a feeling to take your own life call a friend and talk. You are wanted! There are people how look up to you even if you don't know it. Death is not the easy way out, My mom had tryed to do it, and when I relized what she was tring to do I was very mad that she would be so selfesh to leave me like that. I wanted her and needed her. I was 10 when I relized what she was thinking. I'm sorry for what your going through and pray for you. In time you will see your dad loved you and wouldn't want you to do what he did. What your feeling is very normal.

Answer 4

Your feelings are very normal. There is no way you could have prevented it. Most of the hurt will eventually go away, but it is just too near now. There may be times when you will get mad at him for doing that. It is normal.

Is there someone that you can talk to about, teacher, pastor, friend, counselor, etc? Do not feel stupid or weak if you cry, this is one of the biggest hurts that you will ever go through.

Answer 5

Im so sorry to hear about your father. I've lost several friends to suicide and its so hard to go through, I cant imagine losing a parent. You're feelings are very normal.

Have you concidered seeing a therapist? It might be good for your whole family, just to help you work through the feelings that come after you lose someone that way.

If you need anything, my e-mail box is open.

Answer 6

Perfectly normal.
In any sudden death , people are left feeling that things they should have done or said will now never occur. There is also some guilt , justified or not , that if only you had done something differently , it would not have happened.
It sounds to me that you are dealing with it fairly well. If you are a religeous person you might speak with your preist, or if not a school counsellor , or other trusted adult. Dont be afraid to grieve for him , you will have good days and bad days .

Answer 7

Sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is extremely hard, but to lose them to suicide is devastating. There are so many mixed emotions that you are feeling right now and I am sure that you are angry more now than ever. I can't imagine how you feel and I do believe that regardless of what's normal or not, you are truly entitled. I wish you the best and I pray that God will heal your pain.

Answer 8

your feelings are normal and a good way to deal with it is take some time to reflect, cry, scream, talk to people and do whatever it is you need to do to express your feelings.

Write down all of your feelings and then put them away in a box and as hard as it might be, just move on and promise yourself that you will live your life to its fullest potential.

Travel, see the world, suceed in life and try to improve the quality of your life as much as possible.

Answer 9

In the Bible with the case of Judas it was Satan himself who was the cause of it. In the case of Saul the King he was troubled with an evil spirit and even had a familiar spirit of Samuel the prophet come before him the eve of his suicide. So here we see clearly that demons can be the cause of such cases. Satan and the angelic hosts that follow him hate humanity because we are the loving creation and our made in God's image. I would imagine he even hates the angels who stayed true to God after his rebellion against him. So Satan will try every means possible including suicide to turn man against God. I hope this helps. Take care.

Answer 10

yes....you have just suffered a lost sweetie and i am sorry for your lost. its going to be hard at first but you have pray for strength to get through this. you have to understand its not you fault and nothing you could of said or done probably could of stop what happen. OK honey its OK to cry and be mad at him also sometimes the strongest person has to cry so let it out you cant be hard all the time. do you have any close friends you can talk ? if so vent to them cry yell scream do what you have to.......believe me it will pass you are going to think about it for a while and its going to hurt but think of the good things about your dad. i know its hard to understand why a person does that but you will never know the answer.....just pray and ask for peace again i know it hurts so much you want to die but it shall come to pass no matter what he loved you and you loved him feed off of that and think positive. You will get through this......GOOD LUCK