Normally, every Christmas we go to my cousins (which is 1 1/2 hrs away), and the WHOLE family is there.
I have 2 sons and this year I'm not going for these reasons:
There are guns in that house (locked up ... but still).
They (my uncles, aunts) smoke pot in the basement.
And .... my 6 year old son LOVES playing with his 8 y/o cousin, BUT, this kid has the worst grammar in the world: "I ain't got no toys like that" ... "She don't got no boyfriend." .... that kind of talk. In fact, they ALL talk like that!
My mom doesn't know this is why we're not going anymore. She keeps offering to take my kids, because she thinks I'm not going because it's far and a hassle to take them.
It would hurt her feelings if I told her the truth, this is her family.
What would you do? Just keep making up dumb reasons why you're not going?
2007-12-23 15:58:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes, they smoke pot DURING family get togethers.
2007-12-23 17:00:59 · update #1
Is it possible you're being a little too judgmental? I get the thing about the guns and the pot. It sounds like precautions are taken by locking up the guns and the adults take the pot out of the way of everyone who doesn't want to participate. As for the grammer, if your son repeats the incorrect grammer you can teach him the correct way to say things. If he asks why it's OK for his cousin to talk that way you can explain that his cousin wasn't taught correctly and that he is to speak the correct way.
If none of that works for you, tell your mother the truth. It's disrespectful to her to lie. If it's her family she knows these conditions exist. You may be surprised to find that she understands you don't want to expose your child to guns and drugs. But you won't know if you don't give her a chance. If her feelings are hurt, she'll have to work on that. You have to do what you feel is right for you and your family. Even if that means someone else has to deal with hurt feelings. It's never a good idea to lie.
2007-12-23 16:15:56 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're not comfortable with the guns in the house and most certainly them smoking pot, or their language around your kids there's nothing wrong with that. If you don't want to be that straight forward then just let them know that this year you would like to spend time with you kids alone and you could find something for all of you guys to do alone. Some things are best when it's just the immediate family...
2007-12-24 00:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sandi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mind the kids' bad grammar but i definitely do mind the guns in the house. It's too dangerous. What if the kids find out and play with it? I wouldn't want to imagine that.
It might be very difficult but i think it's better to tell your mom the truth. Not to mention 2 tell your sons that the Christmas visit is cancelled.
I rather tell the truth and to apologize to them rather than hiding the feelings and feeling inconvenient inside the house
2007-12-24 00:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Paladin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think I would go every weekend, but, It is Christmas. Can't you watch your kids. Keep them away from the guns, teach them to stay away from guns. Correct your kids grammar if they start talking like their cousins. I don't think that one day a year makes a hillbilly!! They are family. I don't know a family that doesn't have relatives that they aren't ashamed of. I think your teaching your kids that they are better then the rest of the family, and I don't think that is a good lesson for them to learn. I think you should go, doesn't mean you have to stay all day. Just a couple of hours. I also don't think that anyone will get stoned while you visit. Do you?
2007-12-24 00:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Mom, I can't take my kids to a home where drug use, guns and bad grammar are prevalent. I just wouldn't feel like a good parent.
If you would like to see the kids why not come visit us for an hour or two"?
That ought to do it.
2007-12-24 01:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do not wish to attend any event to which you are invited, say "no thank you"....
you don't have to give reasons or excuses.... it's your holiday and your life.... do what pleases you.
many people speak like hillbillies, but that doesn't make them bad people; however, i don't believe it is appropriate for parents to smoke pot around their kids or in the same house (even if it's the basement). do they really think the kids dont know?
2007-12-24 00:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't go either!
2007-12-24 00:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋