The e word that I am referring to is expecation. There have been times and there are still times that I have very high expecatations of marraige and my husband and when things dont go the way I would like them to go I feel dissastified and disappointed.
In light of what I just said what is a good way to have realistic expecations in marraige and just to enjoy life even when marriage or my mate may not go the way as planned?
Thank you for your answers and Merry Christmas:)
2007-12-23 15:45:03 · 10 answers · asked by encourager4God 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Take one of those pretty journals and write reasons why you love your husband or things about him that you love. One per page. Give it to him as a gift on a holiday and put it in your bedroom. When he makes you so mad you want to scream, take it out and read it. You will love him as much as the day you married him by the time you are done. I made my husband one for our first anniversary. I even added a second for our next anniversary. We've been married 10 years.
2007-12-23 15:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by wyrdrose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people have unrealistic expectations of marriage. You will have to do some serious thinking about your own expectations and whether they are fair to your husband.
You are responsible for your own feelings for example. It isn't his responsibility to do things so you feel safe, loved, pleased, valued etc. You are the one who can change your feelings. Every feeling is a reaction to a belief we hold.
Part of being an adult is examining your beliefs and seeing what feelings they are causing, and deciding if they seem right and reasonable to you, or are they just something you were taught by parents, Hollywood, Disney movies etc?
If you are feeling disappointed and dissatisfied with your marriage, I strongly recommend you get some counseling, since a counselor can help you sort out some the expectations and beliefs that are leading you to have these feelings. Best of luck.
2007-12-23 15:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mother Amethyst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you have high expectations of marriage think of this when things don't go you're way and you are disappointed
marriage is a contract with the State and it's a lawyers future
the State and the lawyer expectations is going to be a lot higher
then yours so I suggest you compromise,marriage is a two way street
2007-12-23 16:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is my E xperience ,
My second wife ... I decided to marry her 2 weeks after I met her. About 3 months later we started to have sex , and 6 week after that she moved in with me . The very next day I asked her when should we get married .... 5 months later we got married . About 3 Years into our marriage our sex-life ended and she stopped being a wife to me . After 8 years of Marriage she walked away with over £150,000 , two years after our divorce I was bankrupt with £50,000 of debts and living on government handouts.
I am sure she got her expectations , I merely lost earnings from my 20 years hard work .
C'est la vie !
2007-12-23 19:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by londonpeter2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RAISE your expectations, don't lower them. Don't sweat the small stuff. Work on those things that enhance a long term relationship.
2007-12-23 16:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by Isolde 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that life is messy and imperfect. Your spouse has his/her own wants/needs/desires...and sometimes they don't match up with yours. The key is compromise. Neither of you should be absolute in your expectations.
2007-12-23 15:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call those things that are not as tho they were and just take it to God pray to put things in divine order God bless Just love your husband submit to him unless its not God pleasing,and pray those things into him God bless Lisa
2007-12-23 22:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by God Child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are perfect; than and only than should you feel disappointed in your marriage.
marriage is a two way street and sometimes you have to give more than your share.
Sometimes he will be required to give more than his share.
Gods Blessing.
Marry Christmas.
2007-12-23 15:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by jojo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The simple answer is, lower your expectations. Your husband is just a guy, not a god, and not your slave.
2007-12-23 15:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've heard say that 'Expectation is just preconcieved disappointment'.
Could be.
2007-12-23 15:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋