I need your advice or words of encouragement. I'm very concerned about leaving my little one (17 months). She's always been with me since the day she was born and although I feel like it is somewhat of a necesity for me to go to school for a good career in which I can work part-time and still contribute greatly financially, I can't help feeling extremely guilty about leaving her during the hours I'm at school. My mom or my husband will watch her while I'm at school, so that's not a concern, but when my oldest was younger, I was going to nursing school and I have always felt guilty about that because I felt like I didn't spend enough time with her because I was so consumed with school. I graduated and began working only to find out that I hated it, so years later I am basically in the same position and fear not spending a lot of time with my youngest. We're not doing well financially so that is why I decided to go back to school for a better career for my family that I don't hate.
2007-12-23 15:35:59 · 12 answers · asked by LuckyMom2 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Quit beating yourself up. You have a great family that is willing to help you take care of your child so that you can go to school and get the job to put your family on the right financial road...how lucky is that? Not everyone has that opportunity or ability. Think about the single mom working at the local wal*mart barely able to pay the rent and having to depend on luck to even buy a toy for Christmas this year...
I have a friend that works all day and needs to get another job to make ends meet...as soon as she does that her babysitter will have her kids from 6am to 10pm....5 days a week. She is just trying to make enough money to pay the rent, utilities and put gas in her car...no extras or frills. How do you think she feels knowing that she will spend no time with her kids (age 10 months and 6 yrs) except for two days off a week?
Suck it up, go to school, thank your lucky stars you have the opportunity to make things better for your family quickly....it could be much much worse.
2007-12-23 15:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was and am in the same position. I am working on my prerequisites to get into the local nursing program, and have been for the past year. My son is 22 months old. He is with my mom one day and my spouse the other. I also had a tremendous amount of guilt sometimes, and still do on occasion although not as much. I actually have gotten to the point in which I enjoy my time away. I know I'm working towards something that will benefit us in the long run... so that keeps me focused. I think I'm a better mom when I get a little time to work on me. Although school is stressful.
I think guilt is just a part of motherhood.
2007-12-23 21:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and done that. I tried to go back to school when my daughter was 2 and it was a big mistake. I was going to be a nurse and I had to drop out because I couldn't get to the hospital at 6am. I also didn't have a support team to help with the baby. You do have that. I am now going back to school and my daughter is 7. I still miss them while I am at school but I know that one day it will be for the better of the family. School is a great opportunity so don't miss it. Children are quite understanding and supportive. You would have awhile to wait if you wanted to wait till they are both in school full time. You do have family watching them which is also valuable family time for the kids. Go to school and finish. Good luck
2007-12-23 15:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by littleme836 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you got the idea you have to feel guilty about self-improvement... your kids will survive being away from you -- they will be with family, those who love them.. you said dad or grandma would be caring for them.
Your children know you love them and care... what more could you ask? When you are with them, surely you are a good mom and provider. Your children look up to you and will accept whatever you have to do in life to make ends meet... i remember i accepted things / change readily as a child... and appreciated all mom did for me....
Guilt is for criminals. and it's a word which can be easily removed from our lives and vocabulary, without looking back. You have committed no crime, so just toss that word out the car window next time you're on the highway!
Just because you are not at home 24 hours a day, doesn't mean you "hate" your family...
Positive thinking and learning to accept life as it comes and do what is necessary for the kids is important. NEVER feel guilty about taking care of your family!!
2007-12-23 19:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just jump in and do it, don't stop and think twice for you shall always have guilt. I say this because I myself just graduated from college this past Saturday at the age of 31 with three children and a husband. I will not lie to you and tell you that it was easy because it is not by a long shot. I decided to go back to school when my middle child was only 11 months old in Spring 2003 and had mommy guilt times infinity. Then after only one year in college I found out I was pregnant for the third time while on the shot (Depo- Provera)!! I had to drop out and almost did not go back but finally in the fall of 2005 I did. The best part of going back was seeing my oldest daughter's smiling face in the crowd as I received my diploma. She was so proud of me that all the years of guilt just melted away. As I sit here about to embark on my official job search I realize that I may never get back all those moments that I missed with my children, but they are still young and I have plenty of time to make new memories with them. Memories that include good times that we can actually afford for if I had not gone back to college we would have continued living paycheck to paycheck. So once again just go back to school you will never regret it! Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you and your family.
2007-12-24 02:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by Momof3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what you need to do so that you feel you did the very best you could for your family.
I think you're doing the right thing by going back to school. You sound like a smart woman, and probably still pretty young. You don't want to look back and regret nothaving gone back to school. It won't be forever and you'll have time to spend with your kids because you love them. I know it's hard to balance, I'm a law student, but you'll figure it out. You did it once and I'm sure your older kid is not worse for wear.
Go back to school. It'll be good for you and good for them.
2007-12-23 15:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by GreenIYD 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you for working so no longer uncomplicated attempting to have a extra desirable existence. it rather is rather the standard and not quantity time that youngsters mandatory. as long as you're confident the youngsters are in solid palms, it rather is superb in case you basically spend a million hour high quality time with them regularly occurring. daily, spend a minimum of a million hour. i realize it rather isn't any longer uncomplicated. yet you're able to do it.
2016-10-09 03:14:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to understand that your child has two parents and your husband is more than capable of giving your child love and security and addressing her needs. I think that trying to better yourself is good. I say look at it as letting go, so your husband and mom can form a bond with her. You have to stop punishing yourself. You are a mother but that is not all that you are. You are a woman, a wife, and a student. Please, allow yourself and your child time to grow. Please!
2007-12-23 16:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by rashida_16 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look you know its funny but you have to work to have a good income with both of you its best. yes the kids have to realize this and yes sometimes we have to do something we're not really wanting but its what you have to do. and then when you are retired. they will be having kids etc. they will have the same things. and you can't be watching them either you have a life alsol so take care and enjoy it i mean hey its one for the toher and you have to do it. take care.
2007-12-23 15:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty you are not abondoning them, you are making a better future for you and your child. In the long run she will be happy and you will be proud of yourself.
2007-12-23 15:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by kittie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋