I am engaged to a great guy, and I can't wait to marry him. However, planning a wedding has turned into a contest in how many people I can offend. I just want to get married... is there a way to do that beautifully without the need for others to be offended by things that are/not being done?
2007-12-23 14:47:02 · 18 answers · asked by vaughnc5920 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Bottom line - it's your wedding. If you're footing the bill, then no one can dictate how things are done. Sit down with your fiance, and you two decide what you want. Then, TOGETHER, as a team, tell your family and friends what your decisions are. If they try to make suggestions, gently tell them you appreciate their input but you two have made up your minds and hope that they will support your decision. You two need to be able to look back at your wedding day and be elated as to how it went - not ticked 'cause you didn't do what you two really wanted.
Congrats and good luck!
2007-12-23 18:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by Fluff S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's crazy that people just can't be happy for the future bride & groom re: wedding plans. Soooo many people have gotten offended or have voiced disagreement of our wedding plans. But it's our wedding, for crying out loud! What does it matter to them? They just have to show up, drink & eat.
What ever happened to being polite & keeping negative opinions to yourself? Somehow, people's brains must be wired to turn off the polite switch everytime they hear the word "wedding"! lol :)
I agree w/everyone else on here who advises you to just plan your day the way you & your fiance envision it ~ try not to let others get to you. I know, it's easier said than done, right?Just take a deep breath & think about being on your honeymoon :) Good luck!!!
2007-12-23 19:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by march_hare_in_june 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My hubby and I got married a year and a half ago, and my stepmother made it a living hell for me. We decided to get married in Jamaica (after I spoke to all of my close friends and family and they thought it sounded great). As the date approached, my stepmother announced that she didn't think I was REALLY serious about going to Jamaica and went behind my back and told ALL of my family members to change their minds and say they didn't want to go...told everyone that going to Jamaica was sooo dangerous and they would all be risking their lives. She tried to terrify everyone so they wouldn't want to go. Then, to top it off, she told me that I broke my father's heart because I "didn't want the kind of wedding your father could give you." She didn't realize that the Jamaican wedding was FAR more affordable than a domestic wedding (honeymoon included). I just went to war with her, did what I wanted and told her that whether she came along or not, I was getting married where I wanted to, when I wanted to, and she had no say in the matter. Unfortunately, you will have to do the same. Just remind everyone whose wedding this really is. YOURS. They will just have to get over it. Best of luck to you.
2007-12-23 14:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by SusieQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do what u guys want, its ur special day not their's. if they dont like it, stiff ****. my hubby and i have been married for over 2 yrs and we were planning our wedding and had cancelled it becoz there was conflict with what everyone wanted. and when my hubby's cousin got married and also my sister, we decided to elope. we planned the wedding in a matter of a couple of months. all my family, except for my dad got over it and accepted it. they are happy for us. we also have a 10 month old son.
btw, u cant make everyone happy. the only 2 ppl that matter are the both you.
2007-12-23 15:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people think that weddings bring families together and that every one is so happy.......But the truth (and i have planned plenty of them) is that it is the most stressful thing you can do and will cause many squabbles along the way.....ONe thing i always suggest is to let your mom and his mom have aleast a little input. For instance choose several different arrangements for the tables that you really like and that you would love to have any of them. then bring in his mom or your mom and let them choose or atleast let them give you heavy input out of those choices. This way they feel that they are really getting to be involved without actually making choices for you all the way. Hope this helps. Hang in there its just the begining of yours and or his family trying to tell ya'll what to do. lololol Wait till you have kids.
2007-12-23 14:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by tekaye70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesson in life: You will always offend someone with your opinions and ideas.
Second lesson in life: Don't let others effect your ideas and opinions.
Seriously - don't be concerned about what other people think about your wedding. Luckily for you, it's your wedding and you can do what you want. You are never going to please everyone, and frankly, you don't have to try. Enjoy planning, and don't worry about what other people think. (If they are offended, they can always stay home).
2007-12-23 14:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 1st thing I did was let everyone know that it was OUR wedding and we were going to do only what WE wanted. If they had issues with it then they better let us know cause that is one less person to feed. You just have to lay the law and don't give in. The only happy people need to be the bride and groom.
2007-12-23 14:50:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your day, do what you want, if people get offended it's their problem. It's your day to remember, and if you have a wedding according to how other people want you to have it, you'll look back in 5 years and say "why didn't we just do what we wanted?". As long as you're not purposely trying to hurt people's feelings, do what you want to do.
2007-12-24 03:37:13 · answer #8 · answered by Nelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is being offended and what are they being offended by? Are you being bridezilla or are you caught in the middle of a family feud? A way to avoid all this is by eloping, although this too can really offend people. Make sure you and your fiance pay for everything, that way all the decisions are yours alone.
2007-12-23 16:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look, if they are offended, they are more interested in themselves than you and your fiance, and need to stay home.
People (meaning your relatives) are so full of it about this stuff. Y'all do what you want and the people who really care will come and not be offended.
2007-12-23 14:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋