Johnny Joke!?

Question

Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"

A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"

Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"

The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"

Answer 1

LMAO. Niiiice. I love Little Johnny jokes.

Merry Christmas.

Answer 2

HAHAHAHA I just like the Jonas one very so much LOL at "she's useless" and the final one is VERY CUTE! STAR EDIT: LOL HAHAHAHA ROFLMAO AT the upload on by way of the poster above! WAY TOO FUNNY i love the way in which you believe! hAHAHA

Answer 3

o i get it he told him to get the hell out because it was evil, oooo

Answer 4

lol, funny!

Answer 5

hahahaha....brilliant

Answer 6

lol, i like it!

Answer 7

Whee~ Thanks for sharing. Here's a star for you! (:

Answer 8

HILARIOUS

how about these

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, “That’s it! No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, “No butter for you for one month!” Early that evening, Johnny’s mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead. Johnny’s mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her, to which Johnny said, “Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me to?”
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None.”, replied Johnny,”cause the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher. “But I like the way you are thinking.” Little Johnny said, “I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married? “Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone?” “No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you’re thinking!”
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Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” Johnny’s mother quietly took him by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closed the door. She said, “First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse…” Little Johnny unbuttoned her blouse and took it off. She continued, “Now take off my skirt…” He removed her skirt. “Take off my bra…” which he did. “And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.” When Johnny had finished removing his mother’s panties, she said, “Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!
**************************************
One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class, "Children, if you know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Jane." teacher said, "Anyone else?"

"How about a lollipop?" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!" the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!"

The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer.

Then the teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
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The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class
the following question,

" What is bright red and shiny?"

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted, " A fire engine !!!!???"
"No! No!" said the teacher," But I like the way you think. Anyone else?"

Little Susan replied that it was an apple and the teacher was happy
except Johnny of course (well he has to be otherwise there wouldn't
be a punch line to this joke).

Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to
which she nodded OK. " What is long, hard, rounded and has hair at
one end? "

JOHNNY!!!" she screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT TALK HERE..."
Johnny replied, " No, it's a toothbrush, but I like the way you
think !"
*********************************
A travelling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year old Little
Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman
says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the
carpet and says, "What do you think?"
************************
Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises
coming from his parents' bedroom. He got out of bed and walked
down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the
end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone
on. Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his father removing
a used condom.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" asked little Johnny.

His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tell
his son.

I, um, I'm just checking out the bathroom for mice." replied his
father. Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and
said, "Well, what are you doing? ******* them?"
***************************
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.
His father see's it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have
to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our
prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress
in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. Thats
when she hit me!

"Johnny", the father said. You don't do those kind of things to
women. Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other
eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a
talk!"

"But Dad" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church
saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had
her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to
me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she
doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"
*****************************
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the
class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and
anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the
following Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many
grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could
answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are
in the sky?" and again no one could answer.

Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would
somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them
black.The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the
end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's
question,"

Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls
rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who
find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts
laughing.

The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on
Tuesday!"
****************************
Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well
during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they
give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed.

The principal agreed so they called Johnny into the office, explained,
then the teacher asked, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I
only have two of?"

Johnny replied, "Legs."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I
don't have in my pants?"

Johnny replied, "Pockets."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"

Johnny replied. "Rome."

The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?"

The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong!"
*****************************
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a *******".
********************************
Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag

She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.

Little Johnny raises his hand and says it's an apple, it's an apple.

Then he says now let me give you one.

He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.

The teacher says Ohh Johnny that's grose.

Little Johnny says no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking.
**********************
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Answer 9

LOL

Answer 10

i will remember that!! [- ;