It has been two months and he says it was a big mistake, but I'm still having trust issues. Me questioning him all the time is making things worse. Guys- is talking to girls online serious? And girls- what would you do?
2007-12-23 14:09:22 · 25 answers · asked by Lynnesky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I caught him he started crying, and he told me he would do whatever it takes to show me he only wants me. (He said he would buy me a ring).
He was divorced from a wife who cheated on him and he said it was something to boost his ego. Could this be true?
2007-12-23 14:21:32 · update #1
If I were in your position, I would definitely be angry. It's understandable that you're having trouble trusting him, after all he did go behind your back and flirt with girls on the internet. If I were you, I'd sit down and think really hard about why I'm with this guy. Do his good qualities outweigh his bad qualities? Is he really sorry, and will he do it again? Once you think these issues out, you should decide for yourself whether or not he's worth it. Either way, his actions have been a serious breach of trust.
2007-12-23 14:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Helen 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, it's "serious". He IS single and telling you so by going on line and browsing the ads.
If your relationship is to be open, if you want to see other people as well, then all is fine, but your question would indicate that HE doesn't see it himself this way, and him saying it was a "mistake" (hardly an accidental one) tells me he isn't ready for what you may be expecting of him.
It doesn't look like you want the same things. And yes, if he was not truthful, i would certainly not trust him in any promise of exclusivity.
I don't usually say to people "quit" on relationships because i think they do take work, but only being two months, i would say lose this one. I suspect he's far more trouble than he's worth, and if not, he soon will be.
2007-12-23 22:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen to me recently with a guy that I had been seeing for four months, too. I was sent an email from the site saying they had the perfect guy for me...and wouldn't I come back. As I scrolled down to the bottom of the email to delete it, I saw that it was my "guy." Moreover, he was active within the last 24 hours .... I had driven several hours to see him the day prior. So while I'm in the car... or the shower perhaps...his nasty self was checking out profiles. I'm still recovering and I'll miss him at least some until the next guy comes along... listen to Fergie's new song. It'll put a smile on your face. :)
You don't deserve to be one of many, hun. Put yourself out there...via a profile or otherwise.. and find someone else that understands boundaries in a relationship.
2007-12-23 22:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my boyfriend has a lot of online friends that are girls. I know one or two the others no idea who they are. He has pictures of me and him up on his blog and talks about me all the time even though girls send xoxo and stuff. I don't care, I mean I have a lot of guy friends too so what does it matter, they all know we are both taken. Now if he was writing as a single guy that would be a whole other ball park. I would not allow him on the computer or ask what is going on and reevaluate our relationship. I can see all that he writes and he knows that so it's of no concern. I can see why you are concerned though and I would be too. What was he saying, trying to meet people? Ask why because there must be something awry if he is looking for single girls online. Good luck!
2007-12-23 22:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him. The reason why you are having doubts about him is because your gut instincts is telling you that this guy can't be trusted. It's fine if your bf was just talking to girls online as friends only, but if it's on match.com, you know he's talking to girls trying to get hook ups on the side. You seriously need to dump his @sss.
2007-12-23 22:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont prolong the agony...do what your gut instinct told you to do from the moment you found out and dont look back.
That said, some guys can keep their online lust separated from real life. but if you are looking for complete monogamy in every sence of the word youll never get it with this guy, hes already proved that to you. how do i know? i was that guy with my ex...always sneaking around to get my online thrills...never cheated on her, but had to lie when she asked what i was doing online. my solution? i now have a gf that is into the same types of things that i am, and yes it includes flirting online, but now we both do it and there are no secrets between us.
2007-12-23 22:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by jay v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys always have sex on the brain and can't seem to keep it in their pants. If he's pretending he's single....he's obviously looking for some on the side or possible a new gf. Maybe he just wants to see who would answer him. It may be an ego thing. If it's driving you crazy and it's making the relationship uneasy....you need to move on.
2007-12-23 22:14:02 · answer #7 · answered by lacrosselover 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is called an emotional affair and if you can't trust him with your emotions what do you need him for and how do you know how long this has been going on. I would leave him alone because he's not serious about the relationship.
2007-12-23 22:21:00 · answer #8 · answered by Flowers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved, respected, and cared about you, he wouldn't do that. Show him the door. If I were in your position, I wouldn't have spent an extra two minutes with him, let alone another two months. Why? Because you can do better. Don't settle for second best!
2007-12-23 22:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by Astrid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um.. i would def have trust issues after that... well i would turn around and do the exact same thing and see if he likes it.. i think i would be more upset if it was like 1 -2 years dating.. oh and they all say it was a big mistake....
2007-12-23 22:13:06 · answer #10 · answered by Cowgirl@heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋