im 20 years old and have been hurt in both my serious relationships. im nervous i wont find someone else?

Question

i know im young but ive had two serious relationships of 3 years and recently 1 year. both girls have broke my heart. i hate being single i get afaird that i wont find someone else.my friends say im attractive but i still get nervous i wont find someone.my last girlfriend dosent want a bf anymore but every few days she will call me or text me saying she misses me. so it gives me hope we can get back together then i wont hear from her for days. do you think she is playing with my head? i want to get over her but i keep calling her and driving by her house to see if shes home. i hate being alone

Answer 1

I have similar problem as for you it hard to forget good memories but took me many years to recover specially if you put every single of your heart in that person. You will recover at the end and continue to create good memories. If your a guy: fact is theres more Woman on earth than Male. so Chances are you will find one! GL in the future.

Answer 2

You said it yourself, "I know I'm young". I understand that you don't like being alone, however, that doesn't mean you should rush something that should be taken more seriously. It takes time and patience to find the right person and more likely then not, you are going to find a lot of duds before you find that special someone.

You were in serious relationships, but who took it more seriously...you or the girls? Most 20 year olds are having fun and not taking anything very seriously. And sometimes it takes a few years to figure out what you really want. You are going to be a completely different person in 10 years and what you want now may not reflect what you want in someone later.

It's admirable that you are an affectionate and loving man and want something serious that will endure...but really, you are too young to appreciate that this is the beginning of your life and there are so many women out there to get to know better.

You should let go of your ex. She enjoys your affections, but I doubt she wants a commitment. She is messing with your head, even if she doesn't think so. There are so many people out there...I have no doubt that you will meet someone special. But don't be looking for immediate relationship material...while it might build your self esteem momentarily, when the young girl realizes that she's not ready...your heart will get broken again. You have plenty of time to find love and you will appreciate it more later. Your early twenties are about fun and play...your late twenties is when most people are truly ready to settle down.

Answer 3

well,
you need to learn to accept that relationships come to an end. You have good memories from every break up, so don't think of the end of a relationship as bad, think of it as a chance for a new relationship. What wasn't meant to be, just isn't meant to be. You can't force something because you'll just end up with the same results. Even if she honestly misses you, she has made the point she doesn't wanna get back together with you. Attempt to move on.

And a reason your relationships may fail is because your too dependent on your girlfriend. To have a steady lasting relationship you need to be confident when your single! It's important to be okay when your with someone and when your not because being needy is not a very good quality and isn't very healthy. Your ex apparently isn't prepared mentally for another relationship and it doesn't seem like you are either. Just stay single and or do some casual dating.

You learn from your past relationships : ]
good luck!

Answer 4

Its perfectly understandable to hate being alone and I am sure loads of other people at this very moment are probably are a similar situation as yourself. I cant really give any magical answers to solve everything as with all relationships things are complicated and never easy, I think with any meaningful relationships it requires effort to maintain. If you suspect that this girl is just playing you then I would tell her straightly that you dont appreciate being played at all. You deserve someone better. Your definitely young and will certainly find someone who is better if this is the case. Its about confidence in yourself and attitude, not external appearances in the end of the day. Be a man and dont get messed around by some girls who waste your time.

Answer 5

I am a firm believer in the fact that there is someone out there for everyone. First thing first block that girls number from your cell phone, she is playing head games with you. Next step try being alone for a while so that you can recuperate from your previous relationship. And if you don't like coming home to an empty house or apt adopt a dog or cat. But don't lose hope you will find a woman worthy of you.

Answer 6

You need to calm down. And you need to move on from your ex. You guys broke up for a reason. If you don't have problems socializing with people, you are going to find other girls in no time. If you stop worrying about it, someone will come to you when you least expect it. I think you really need to chill out and enjoy the single life now. You have been heartbroken from previous relationships, why rush into another one so quickly?

Answer 7

I don't think she can stand the thought of you finding happiness with someone else, even if she doesn't want to be with you. Look - learn to be happy with you. You don't need to actively look for someone new. They'll find you. Take some time off - travel, get to know who you are when you're not making compromises and sharing part of yourself with another person. I speak from personal experience. I spent nearly 2 years single and celibate (with the exception of kissing and n such:) - best time in my life!!! I found out what I was all about:) Take this time to find YOU. The rest will fall into place later.

Good luck!

~J.M.

Answer 8

I'm in the same boat-I'm a twenty year old girl. I was in one relationship-not serious-that lasted 3 or 4 mos and I was in one serious relationship that lasted four years. I worry that I won't be able to find someone else and I don't think I'm pretty even though people tell me I am. So if it makes you feel any better you're not alone. you shouldn't have to settle for someone who plays games with you and it's not fair to settle for someone just cause you're scared.

Answer 9

Hey! you are young! you don't need your ex-girlfriend... I think she is confused and the only thing she is doing now is giving you a false illusion...

I recomend you to go out with your friends and open your heart and mind to new people. You might just find your future wife sooner than you think!

BUT, remember that being alone is not that bad. Don't rush into a relationship just because you want some company!

Good Luck! =)

Answer 10

You need to learn that your never alone, you just need some volunteer work where you go out and help others. That takes you out of that 'I am all alone' view of the world. When you give to others you forget personal problems and you might also find someone who has like ambitions as you too.
So get out there and stop worrying about the past, look to the future!!
Merry Christmas!