My fiance is sort of religious (Lutheran) and I am really a Wiccan, but I tell him that I am an Athiest.
And I was wondering what sort of wedding we should have, like how can we combine it considering that I don't have the same beliefs as him...actually, he doesn't know my true beliefs.
Do you think that he would be suprised if I told him that I was Wiccan?
And how can we combine our religious beliefs into our wedding?
2007-12-23 13:35:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, you need to tell him your religious beliefs!!! It's totally unfair for him to not know. That's a huge lie...you really need to talk to him, then decide if you should incorporate your beliefs......
Tell him now!
2007-12-23 13:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by jenn 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Um....hun, seriously, if you're going to marry this guy, you need to stop lying to him right now. And if you don't feel you can trust him with the truth about your religion, then you shouldn't be marrying him. It's that simple. Your current situation is a recipe for disaster.
Do I think he would be surprised if you told him? Yes. Minimally he would be surprised that you've been lying all this time, and that surprise is going to get worse every day you continue lying to him.
While it might be possible to combine your beliefs into your wedding, you might also consider not mentioning either faith. I'm also part of a Wiccan/Lutheran pairing and our ceremony never mentioned higher beings. This is your wedding. It celebrates the union of two people. There's nothing wrong with the ceremony remaining focused on the two of you.
Besides, you do realize that invoking your gods at your wedding is to inform every guest there that you're Wiccan. Can you trust the entire audience with such information when so far you haven't even been able to trust your fiance?
2007-12-23 13:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Nightwind 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't lie about your belief...you must confess to him before it gets bad. You should have a Lutheran wedding then. Because he thinks you are an atheist so it would be more important to him to have a Lutheran service.
Don't make the mistake of not telling him about this. It will not be good in the end.
What if he said he was Wiccan, and then all of a sudden said he was actually Lutheran and that he lied to you..how would you feel?
2007-12-23 13:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He may be surprised that you're Wiccan, but that surprise may come from the fact that you lied to him in the first place. You should never be ashamed of the religion you've chosen. Please tell him first before you get married as to not do so would be a grave error and will cause many problems when he finds out. You can have a non-religious ceremony or you can write the ceremony by using example vows and incorporating important aspects of your religions in the vows. I am Christian and my husband is Muslim and originally when the plan was to be married in the US I wrote the ceremony myself making sure not to include any religious wording and it turned out to be one of the most beautiful ceremonies I ever would have heard. We're still planning on having an "American" wedding and I'm still going to use that ceremony even though the reasons for writing it have changed and I could do a religious ceremony.
2007-12-23 13:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ok, there's a problem if the man you are marrying doesn't know your beliefs. You're supposed to talk about EVERYTHING before you get married! EVERYTHING! You're opening yourself up to a divorce. Don't keep anything from him...you need to lay it all out.
Yes, he'll definitely be surprised! Being Wiccan/Atheist is pretty different from being Lutheran.
TELL HIM.
2007-12-23 13:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Why? 5 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this you may want to rethink the idea of a wedding. You told him a major lie! You are probably going to end up single because if your boyfriend is really religious it is highly unlikely that he is going to attempt to mix wiccan and Lutherean ESPECIALLY after you lied !
2007-12-23 13:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by GLAM GIRL WEDDING PLANNER 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First you need to discuss your religious beliefs. how long have you known him that he doesn't know that you are a Wiccan?
How can you combine the religious beliefs if he doesn't know what yours are?
2007-12-23 13:48:20 · answer #7 · answered by ilene m 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi Maddie. Im like you I am female and wiccan. My hubby is Christian. We combine our faiths in a multi-religious. He has participated in some of my sabbats and rituals. Weve also gone to church in his hometown. So just be honest with your intended. Most christians don't understand that we worship the earth, NOT demons, devils or demonic entities. Good luck.
2007-12-24 00:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by Leslie Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think starting your marriage with a lie is a smart thing to do?
Religion is obviously quite important to him and by lying about your beliefs it is possible you will cause him to doubt everything you have ever told him in the past.
2007-12-24 16:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by Julie R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Way to go, not even married and LYING to your significant other!
Tell him the TRUTH, now. Not after the "I Do"'s.
You are doomed if you go into a marriage with a lie like that.
As for using both religions, plenty of people have done just that, and they have had no problems doing so. Just google it.
2007-12-25 09:56:13 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋