I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the Help
Hotline. I was put through to a 'call center' in Pakistan. I explained
that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited at this news and
wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane....
2007-12-23 13:12:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
It's only a joke qleophathyr,don't take it so seriously.
2007-12-23 13:49:21 · update #1
I went to the Jobcentre when i was unemployed and for a laugh i said i was looking for work as a suicide bomber
The bloke behind the desk asked me if i had any experience!
2007-12-23 18:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by stephen b 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, if I were you, I should have told them that I could make the Help Hotline more Hotter and could soon turn it into either Fireline, Explodeline, Burntline or Ashesline (whatever is their choice) in just a few seconds! I'm sure they will like and prefer it, as it's more economical and time-saving for they don't need anymore, to provide you a truck to drive or an airplane to fly...Ha! Ha! Ha!
By the way, why were you feeling depressed the other day?
Thanks again for sharing this interesting joke.
2007-12-25 23:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Rose 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are very right son. there are know suicidal Christian! There are Christians that needs Deliverance! Understand when you get saved you take on some responsibility for your behavior especially new converts. Why? Because you have to establish the ground that you stand on is and belongs to God. your redeemer, your strength The first thing you learn when you first get saved is "It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." Now when you neglect to do your duty. You are consider in "Harms Way" the Devil or Satan has a free shot at you (fiery darts) what has happen you have gotten caught up in a worldly situation. a Friend dying not your fault! did anyone pray for him? did the Elders from your church come and pray and anoint him with oil? Listen to what the scripture says," And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven" One more thing if this person was your true friend and you want to see him again the Bible says absent in the flesh is present before God. † Faith Walker Prayer Warrior †
2016-04-10 22:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't read this and not say something. Grade A joke. Can't wait for tomorrow when I tell it right after the queens' speech.
2007-12-23 22:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by johnstonemac 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
So? Oh please do not kill yourself on Xmas eve!
I mean I know what it feels like. Seriously, I did swallow those sleeping pills right in front of my boyfriend once. 16 pills. But let me tell you how it feels like. I felt very light. I couldn't feel my hands. Then I couldn't feel my body. I felt so sleepy. That was the initial reaction.
I didn't know where my boyfriend got the idea of making me drink some very sour orange juice to counter-effect the bitter medicine. That saved his very own suicidal friend once he said. At that point I didn't care. He drove me around so that I wouldn't sleep. Maybe he was also too scared to take me to the hospital.
When we got back I started to regret what I did. I knew that if I was to fall asleep that would be it. So, I forced myself awake. Sounded easy right? NO.
Then I suddenly felt this terrible wrench in my stomach. I had to vomit but I had nothing solid inside. It felt like my insides were turning out. Only it was my inside trying to get out of my mouth. Like a snake shirking its skin. Yup.
But I survive and would like to share my experience with the rest of the world. Don't attempt it. You think you'll only be going for a long sleep but it's not. Death can only come through pain. What are you going to do on the other side anyway?
Merry Xmas!
2007-12-23 13:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by qleophathyr 3 · 1⤊ 6⤋
i find this most fasnating and wish to help you solve this case. just tell me exactly who wronged you and i will arrest t hem in the name of the low!
2007-12-23 13:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by JIM 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I just got colder inside.
2007-12-23 13:18:53 · answer #7 · answered by janetツ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-12-23 20:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ho ho ho...
i was in tescos, in the kitcheware dept, browsing teh HUGE sharp cooking knives... i asked the assistant if she knew where the antidepressants were kept...
she called the manager...
2007-12-23 13:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ha, ha, ha!!
wicked!!
10/10 star on its way!! *
2007-12-23 22:31:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋