This guy & I(we're like friends w/benefits..I guess would be our "title")usually talk everyday. We've known each other about 2 mos. He said before he isn't trying to look for a serious relationship, but hopefully we could lead up to more. Anyway, I try to not be a clingy girl. So 1 day passed(1) that we didn't talk. He called me Thurs. & then Fri. we didn't talk. Saturday he called me & one of the first things he asked was "why haven't you called me?" I told him I didn't think he had his phone b/c he was supposed to get it fixed b/c he can't get text msgs. He was like "I still have my phone, why haven't you called me?" He wasn't rude...he was just asking. It made me feel like he missed me.(aww) But it also made me wonder why he was sweating the fact we didn't talk for 1 day when he doesn't want serious. Am I doing right by not being clingy & letting him do most of the calling & initiating, etc...since he doesn't want serious? Or should I try & pursue him more than I have?
2007-12-23 12:27:45 · 9 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to clarify, I do like him & would be in a relationship w/him if it led to that.
2007-12-23 12:29:16 · update #1
this is tricky territory... I would use the back and forth rule, for every one time he calls you, you can call him. Put in the same amount of effort that he is No more No less and just see where it goes from there.
2007-12-23 12:34:33 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not become clingy, or you will drive him off fast. The reason he's as interested as he is, is because you have not been clinging. Keep doing what you're doing, only maybe call a little more, but never more than he calls you. If it keeps up a while longer you could maybe try to take things to more of a boyfriend/girlfriend level. If it happens again where you don't talk for a day, and he asks why you didn't call, you might say something like, "Why, did you miss me or something?" Kind of feel him out that way.
2007-12-23 12:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship does not mean that you can not call him. It also does not mean that if you did, you are being clingy. Friends who are close( and you were friends with benefits) will ask the same type of question and it does not mean they want a serious relationship or , to use your term, sweating the fact.You are just hoping because you would not mind a serious romantic relationship with him.If that is the issue, simply ask if he would like to try for a commited romance with you. Assuming his answer is positive , then you guys can elevate your relationship from friends with benefits to a regular boyfriend - girlfriend kind.
2007-12-23 13:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, no one likes a clingy person. If you call him obsessively numerous times a day, he will want some space..You'd just be pushing him off the edge when he didn't even walk up to the cliff..In other words, you'd be pushing him away.
2007-12-23 12:39:07 · answer #4 · answered by sugarfootlong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pursuing him more may end up tragically because then he will know that you are trying to pursue him let him come to you and give him reasons to. Test him a little but not to the point where he knows what you are doing.
2007-12-23 12:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by crazychic705 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be clingier.. but limit calls to him.. dont call him every 5 seconds.. call him like once a day! and if you like him.. try to put urself in a more comfy position with him.. i have dated many guys and it started with the whole friends with benefits thing.. he is probably satrting to realize that he does have ffelings for you and they are growing!
2007-12-23 12:37:06 · answer #6 · answered by franksta34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one likes clingy people.
2007-12-23 12:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by munchkin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd keep calling him and then i think it would lead to something better. but dont be too clingy
2007-12-23 12:32:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww...pursue him ..but dont STALK him
2007-12-23 12:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋