How do I become closer to my grandfather if?

Question

my grandmother who just died who was the real "link" between us and we weren't super close before she died.

I know I need to give him sometime to himself but how long?

Before my grandmother died, I would call every two weeks and talk to her, and go see her about once a month. How often should I try to spend time with him? How often should I call him if he's not much of a talker?

I was semi-close to him, just closer to my grandmother.

Help!

When i go and see him what should we do?

Go out to eat?

He lives with his son and his son's girlfriend.

I kept in good touch with both but I was closer to my grandmother. He's going to be lonely, and I want to get closer to everyone in my family since my grandma died.

I love my grandpa so much as well as his personality and I just want to get to know him more and spend time with him

Answer 1

I would give him a few weeks to accept it, but you should definetly start seeing him every month like you did with your grandma. He'll enjoy the company.

Answer 2

This is a very important time not to leave your grandfather alone. He may think that he wants some alone time, but In truth, that is the last thing he most likely needs. Men, even older learned ones, do not admit they need someone around to keep them company like a woman would. He has just lost the love of his life, half of himself is gone and he cant get it back. So its important for his family to help him fill that void or he could become very depressed. What did he do before he was retired? Does he have any hobbies? What about your grandmother, did she do anything special for him that you can now take over? Maybe you could make him a nice breakfast a few times a week like she used to. (if she cooked) Or what about shopping, who is going to go with him to get groceries and new clothes now? Once you think about it, there are a million things you can do with him.

Answer 3

just keeping it the same is the wrong thing to do. Everyone knows something's wrong -- that would be avoiding the matter, and making it tougher. I had the opposite happen...my grandfather died and my grandmother always has to mention him, and him being gone.
I'm still young myself, so I can't even imagine how tough it must be to lose someone you spent your whole life with, but you've got to approach him. I'd visit, or call, definitely ask him how he's doing. And most of all -- don't be scared to ask if he misses your grandmother. He can't avoid saying yes, and it'll serve as an ice breaker -- sort of a common interest.

Sorry the common interest had to be missing your grandmother, all is well still, so good luck!

Answer 4

Life's too short to ponder such things.

Just be the best grandaughter you can be. Try your best to love him in whatever way possible. He's lonley and needs something to fill that empty void.

I suggest to take interest in what he likes to do(even if it may bore you) and it'll open a door to draw closer.

Being that he's lonely in the house, maybe you could make it a priority to vistit over night more often.

Supprise him with some of his favorite things with an I love you attached. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just something simple every so often like a piece of his favorite pie or a can of his favorite nuts ect. The thought will go a long way and will help him heal from his pain.

And you'll both feel good about yourselves and each other for starting a beautiful relationship.

Whatever you do, do it out of love.

Answer 5

The key to helping a loved one over a loss is normalcy.Just call and visit like you did when your grandmother was alive.The more things are treated like normal,the easier it will be for your grandfather to adjust.I understand the need to get closer with your family as I just recently lost my brother.Because of his passing,all my cousins and aunts and uncles are questioning their own mortality.In so doing this,they are reaching out to me constantly as they know I am the deepest affected since my parents were already gone and I had no other siblings.You don't have to do or say anything different than what you already did.Just the fact that you are treating him the same will mean so much to him.

Answer 6

Ask yourself, "If my grandad died tomorrow, what regrets would I have?" You may find your answer there.

I don't think he need too much time alone. He probably dearly misses your grandmother and getting his mind off his loss may be something you can help him with. Get with him once a week if possible and take him to lunch or breakfast. Get together once a week and watch his favorite TV show with him.

I think I would stay in touch with him even fora short time several times a week and try to see him at least once a week.

Answer 7

Just stop in and visit him. Maybe bring him something for a meal. It's sad that you are only considering a relationship with him now that your Grandma is dead. It's a good idea, though. Never can tell if he will take you out of the will otherwise.

Answer 8

He may think he needs time alone, but he really needs someone to comfort him. like family. Grieving together will grow you closer. If you guys are by each other more often, you will get to know more about each other, and who knows, you might like his personality!

Truly sorry for your loss, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Answer 9

Since your grandmother died, your grandfather may need someone to prepare meals for him. He may really need less alone time than you think, but I'm positive he needs to eat.

Answer 10

Call him just as much and as soon as possible. Even if you just say "hi, what are you doing today?" and he says "nothing" you just keep in touch as if your grandmother was still there. He'll appreciate it especially now that she's gone.