my boyfriends parents are very religious and think it is wrong of me to live with their son. We are both adults in college and financially it would be best for both of us. It is a good location right next to the college and it is cheap to live there. We can also have our 3 pets (no other affordable apartments allow pets in this town!) I don't see what the problem is.
Isn't this idea of no living together outdated? Maybe 2000 years ago there were reasons why it was bad but times change. Why do people still think it's so evil to live with your b/f or g/f?
2007-12-23 10:34:07 · 32 answers · asked by Velvet 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
we are not having sex at all because we are both asexual...and I suppose that's a sin too huh?
2007-12-23 10:43:36 · update #1
I wouldn't say that the idea is outdated in a static and chronological fashion. Social maturity advances and regresses in cycles. Sophistication and enlightenment tend towards cumulative improvement in a society, but the gears of progress do slow down and grind to a halt at times; sometimes they even send a society on a (fortunately) temporary but nevertheless disturbing backwards roll into a sorrier state.
So, to answer your question, I would say that if you have matured and wisened to a point that allows you to analyze your moral behaviour in a more objective and logical manner (and you by all accounts seem to've reached that point), then it would be perfectly accurate to say that social conventions opposing cohabitation, though they are not outdated per se, are certainly outdated for *you*.
Put a better way: opposition to two people living together, the idea itself, hasn't changed at all; rather, the idea is outdated because you *yourself* have *outgrown* it.
2007-12-23 11:09:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The idea of living together is wrong in the eyes of God. God said if a man lays with a woman so shall he marry her. There was a reason for this and so many people today have started just living together and not thinking about the reason they should be married.
If you live together then either one of you can leave the other any time. There is no committment to the relationship at all. You give yourself to him and him to you in your love making and then he walks out the door because after all he can. He can go down the street and make love to any other woman he wants because you are not his wife. You have no power over him and he has none over you to stay true to one another.
To give yourself in marriage is to be as one and as long as you just live together you are still two different people with no rights to the other. And... then if you got pregnant and had a child then your child would be called a name that no child should be called.
You may think well we love each other and we will stay together but you are not together! You are just room mates in the same house committing a sin.
I would hate it if my daughter did this. It would break my heart too. If this guy really loves you then he would respect you enough to make you a honorable woman and not what he is making you into.
You will be called a kept woman by his parents and maybe a few worse words. Now do you want his parents to care about you? What if you do want to marry someday? They will be your parents then. Best think about what harm you could do to all that are concerned.
2007-12-23 10:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by craft painter 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Its not a good idea and here's why:
1. You're going to have a harder time hooking up with a better guy when he comes along. And he will come along.
2. Your going to get stuck doing most of the household chores. Its always been that way.
3. Your practical reasons are lame. Get some romance in your life! Pets? Affordable apartment? Good location? Jeez, you sound like a Senior on Social Security.
4. If you don't want to think of religious dictates as divine instructions, then think of them as wisdom distilled by the ancients from mistakes made over the millenia.
2007-12-23 10:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by Necromancer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it is not outdated to believe this way, the time period you are speaking of is an era where people actually had morals. Pre-marital sex is a sin, that is why his parents are against it. So many people believe since this is a new age everybody else is doing it, that makes the situation okay. You were not looking for a true response you were looking for people to agree with what you are doing. I for one rather stay with the ole school gang and keep my stuff to my self until I am married.
2007-12-23 10:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by lekeshia s 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Peace.....the parents may be concerned that eventually education will be put on the back burner, you could get pregnant prior to marriage, the relationship would end and there could be a child and with or without a child have to move on to try the same thing all over again and then perhaps lose again - again - and again - this can be very painful for many reasons. They are protecting you both, not thinking you are big time sinners.....God Bless! "orthros"
2007-12-23 10:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are you saying that it is wrong? There will be many things in your life that someone will disagree. That is their opinion.
Example: You use electricity in your apartment? There are people that believe that is against their religion, you must decide for yourselves what is right or wrong and not worry about others..
If you both believe you want to live together, show respect to his parents and tell them you decision and they should respect your choice.
2007-12-23 11:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by aqua_diente 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody has the right to judge or tell another adult how to live his/her life. As adults, you don't have to explain your choices to anyone--including your b/f's parents. His parents have a right to their beliefs, but if you two are adults, they should respect you as adults and mind their own business.
And to the person who said getting married gives you power over the other person and keeps him/her from having sex with other people, your reasoning is seriously diluted. Marriage doesn't give you power over anyone. It doesn't keep people from cheating. And it doesn't guarantee a lifelong commitment. And as far as his parents liking and respecting her after they're married, they don't have to like her, but they should respect their son by showing her respect.
2007-12-23 10:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by FoxxxyGirrrl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Parents will always try to look out for their children and for the most part they try to bring them up to believe what they feel is right. My pre-marriage councellor told me that couples who live together before marriage are 60% more likely to divorce than if they hadn't. I did it. I think I know what she's talking about now. When you live together as gf/bf and the going gets tough, you can always pack your bags and leave. That's the end of it. It's that easy. This kind of mind-set is dangerous. Once you're married it is not that easy. It has to be a serious decision involving lawyers and such. Getting into that mind-set is like telling your sub-conscience that you are giving seperation/divorce an option. Don't know if that came out right...
2007-12-23 10:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by lippy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Traditionally, premarital sex is the sin of fornication--a less serious sin than adultery, but a sin nevertheless. Of course, if you want to live together to share expenses, keep your pets, and get used to each other's idiosyncrasies as preparation for marriage, but without having sex, why not?
2007-12-23 10:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by aida 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you pushing the envelope when you know within your heart or conscience it is wrong! God told us if we are to be approved by Him we must be holy as He is holy.
The wide road is full with people who have gone their own way, but in the end it leads to death. But the narrow gate few find as it is too nice to hang around with similar kinds of people. Your boyfriend parents are speaking the truth, why don't you listen to them? Rebelliousness is like witchcraft in God eyes, so why not walk a different way than on the wide road?
2007-12-23 10:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋