What should I do???

Question

A new family moved to our neighborhood a week ago. My daughter is 14. The new neighbor's daughter is 13. The family is Jehovahs Witness The neighbor girl told my daughter she doesn't want to be a Jehovahs and plans to run away this summer. How should I handle this situation. She also wants to come over for Christmas Dinner. What should my daughter tell her?

Answer 1

In many jurisdictions, the questioner would seem to be legally obligated to inform police and/or school authorities if she learns of a juvenile's plans to run away. There seems no reason not to discuss the matter with those authorities.


More humanly, the questioner should pray, and work to understand that the immediate issue is a private family matter. In fact, during their adolescent years, most children vary back and forth in their degree of acceptance of their family's religious beliefs. Privately questioning the basis of one's belief system is healthy and Scriptural.
...(Acts 17:2-3) So according to Paul’s custom he went inside to them, and for three sabbaths he reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and proving by references
...(Acts 17:11) They received the word with the greatest eagerness of mind, carefully examining the Scriptures daily as to whether these things were so.
...(Romans 12:2) Prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Jehovah's Witnesses do not push their teenagers to make some pretense of godly devotion, but they do expect their teenagers to be moral, honest, and respectful. Witness parents almost always require their minor children to attend congregation meetings alongside them, but children are never required to participate.
...(Galatians 6:4-5) Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person. For each one will carry his own load.
...(Hebrews 10:24-25) And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together
...(Ephesians 6:4) And you, fathers, do not be irritating YOUR children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.

It would be a kindness if the child was told that the questioner's home will always be available as a place of TEMPORARY refuge, but reminded that every child is subject to her parent's lawful and god-given authority (if it seems indicated, the child can be reminded that actual abuse is neither lawful nor god-given).

To protect the questioner and the child, the questioner should tell the neighbor child that the child must discuss this matter with her parents; the questioner should mention that she will wait a week before approaching the parents herself to see how she can help.

Previously, the questioner should have already written, signed, and dated a very brief letter to the parents which mentions the child's plan to run away; with plainly marked 'confidential carbon copies' to local police and school authorities. The questioner should request an appointment with the neighbor child's parents, and hand deliver the letter to them at that meeting.

Admittedly, a situation such as this can quickly inflate far beyond what the child may actually require during a temporary period of uncertainty and/or controlled bluster. However, there seems no alternative to considering every conscientious precaution that can be taken to protect a young person being buffeted by a world which values its independence and perversions above its responsibility to protect its most vulnerable.
...(Ephesians 4:18-19) Because of the insensibility of their hearts. Having come to be past all moral sense, they gave themselves over to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.
...(Proverbs 2:10-15) When wisdom enters into your heart and knowledge itself becomes pleasant to your very soul, thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you, to deliver you from the bad way, from the man speaking perverse things, from those leaving the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, from those who are rejoicing in doing bad, who are joyful in the perverse things of badness; those whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their general course

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20041015/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/19970808/article_02.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/200612a/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20041208/diagram_01.htm

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http://jw-media.org/edu_videos/psa2_e.htm
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Answer 2

Well she would have to make sure that it was okay with her parents before she came over to dinner. They are your neighbors after all and if you put yourself into their shoes then how would you like it handled? Would you want your daughter going against your wishes? You do have to get along a little with your neighbors and it is their child and under age. so.. you have to respect their wishes. I do know a little about the Jehovah Witness religion. My husband has some family members that are Witnesses. I can tell you that they will not force their child to believe this. They will make her go to the kingdom hall with them though as a family. That is what they call their church. My husbands brother is a deacon in the Witnesses and his wife has never became one at all and she said she never would, but she still attends church with him and so do their children. This young girl will have a choice someday on whether she wants to become one or not. They do not force any child to become a Jehovah Witness.
Personally I would stay out of it as much as I could.
If she wants to come for Christmas Dinner then it may be okay with them as long as this does not mean opening presents and things and just dinner. Different Witnesses feel differently about things and some go by their own conscience as to what they feel is right.
I know when my father died that some witnesses came to his funeral and they had the army there and a regular preacher. Most of them will not go into a regular church though.
There is no harm in asking anyway. They can only say no or yes.
That is if you mind having her there. Prayers at the meal are fine too. They do that too. After all they do not have a different God, just a different way to believe in him and they do not believe in holidays.

Answer 3

If you're willing, befriend her.

When you have the chance, emphasize how dangerous it is for runaways; very, very few survive, and those that do, it's NOT an easy or comfy life.

If you can offer a safe getaway, when she needs to be somewhere besides home (not to live with you, just to hang out), that may help.

If you're willing to have her over for Christmas, and the parents are OK with that, fine. But you do need to respect their wishes if they don't want her participating in a celebration.

It's seems forever to her now, but in a few years, she will be old enough to be on her own, and can decide what religion, if any, to follow.

The running away threat is worrisome. That's nearly a death sentence.

Answer 4

Support your neighbors child. But don't let her run away, a life on the streets is never a good thing for such a young girl. Too many things can happen in this present day world. Perhaps help her to deconvert her parents from that cult. There's a whole lot of things you can find on the Internet to help the poor girl. If that doesn't work or makes things worse. I dunno, but just make sure that your daughter and their daughter knows that its okay for them to be friends.

Answer 5

Though I sympathize with her, and might feel the same way if I was in her shoes, she is still under her parents authority, as far as Christmas, I would ask her parents if that is okay. They will probably say no, but its all you can do. As for the running away, if she is serious then you probably should let her parents know... she could get hurt.

Answer 6

Have her over for dinner and if you are opening gifts get her something small. Her parents don't need to know its a religious celebration I don't think any parent should force a 13 year old to be any religion They are at the age where they want to explore She is going to do it anyway so...What they don't know wont hurt them and what you do might help her

Answer 7

Pray. Tell the girl that she can come over for dinner if her parents allow her to.You can not undermine her parents. You can encourage her quest for truth, tell her the truth ofJesus Christ, and pray with her . When she is of age she can leave the bondage her parents have created for her in this cult. You can also pray and try toget her whole family out of the JW cult.

Answer 8

Next summer is a long way away. If she really wanted out she'd run now.
Tell her she has to get an OK from her parents to come over for dinner but she's welcome.

Answer 9

You're the parent. It's your call. I would advise my own daughter to think for herself and not be persuaded by her friend.

Answer 10

id tell her that she needs to try and convince your new neighbor that she needs to stay at home. later on in life, if she wants, she can change her religion.