2007-12-23 09:52:23 · 30 answers · asked by JustMe♥. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All you can and should do is explain that you do not want to have sex, and that is that. You don't need an excuse to say no. If you go on to say, but you're really cute or nice, etc, you're not making things better. It just makes things confusing for the guy. He may think if he tried a little harder ...... Just very simply say No, I don't want to have sex. He should respect that, and you are not insulting him. There is no reason to feel sorry.
2007-12-23 09:59:11 · answer #1 · answered by Elsie 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well as opposed to just saying no in a mean way. You can simply say I am not ready for that level of intimacy so my answer is no please respect that and no that I mean no disrespect to you whatsoever.
I have actually had to say Listen I do not believe in having sex before marriage, you just have to respect that okay. It is not anything against you. Sometimes guys are jerks and they will get madd and try to say nasty things about you since you did not put out but if they are half way decent they will RESPECT your decision to wait.
If you want you can always tell them that you will let them know when you are ready. Lol, I think I might have said that too but as a joke kind of.
In my case, I had to tell several guys NO! Lol, sometimes I had to be mean in order for them to get the picture. Unfortunately, people take kindness for weakness so I figured I would spare myself the drama of being pressured.
I personally am waiting to have sex until I am married because that is what I believe is the right thing to do and I have made a covenant with God stating I would wait and I have. Now I am 22 and hopefully I will meet a guy who is marriage material, lol of course I wont scare him off speaking of marriage right away that is an instant way to scare him away!
2007-12-23 10:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by ♥CJ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is no sparing feelings and there is no lowering your standards or you will find yourself in a situation you can't neccesarily take back.
My point is that you don't want to lead this guy on and let him think that if he just begged a little more or pleaded a little harder that he will get his way of having sex.
If your one against sex, make it clear that it isn't going to happen and nothing he can say can change your way of it till you feel yourself to be ready.
If we worry about whose feelings we were hurting all the time we would be nothing but slaves to other's intentions.
2007-12-23 09:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by untamed_soul 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't have to worry about sparing his feelings...just tell him you are not ready. If he doesn't respect that he is not worth your time. If he cares about you he will understand that and not pressure you. If he gets angry and doesn't talk to you then he was only after sex and then just be glad you were smart enough to say no.
2007-12-23 09:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While I agree that a Guy should not be asking a woman he is not married to if he can have sex with her... if you want to spare the man his feelings, you have to say something that will build up his ego and allow him to feel like he is worthy of being allowed to ask the question without being assulted insulted or arrested.
2007-12-23 10:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by rbcadude6 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The first thing you need to do is not worry about hurting his feelings. If he tells you he is hurt, he is using emotions to manipulate you. Don't fall for it. If a guy asks you for sex, tell him straight out no. I don't care if you lie and say you are saving yourself for marriage. I don't care if you have had sex with him before. If you aren't interested in having sex, your feelings are the only ones that matter. Saying no doesn't mean you have to say "No, you're creepy." You don't have to explain it father than you don't want to do it. Period.
2007-12-23 09:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is this a guy you are dating? Are you interested in him, but not ready to move it to the next level? If you and he are in love, tell him you aren't ready.
Or does he just want sex? Don't worry about sparing his feelings. Just tell him you aren't interested or that you just want to be friends and walk away.
2007-12-23 09:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Granny Jo 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Pay ATTENTION: never worry about a guys feeling when it comes to saying that you don't want to have sex. Trust i know b/c that's how i lost my virginity and i wish i could take it back. i said no and that i was not ready and he put on a sad face like i hurt him so badly by saying no. he begged me for an hour straight not letting me off the bed until i agreed. so forget about a guys feelings....... its about what you want to do. just simply say no and get up and walk away..... if hes in your home ask him kindly to leave.
2007-12-23 09:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by jazzy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You don't have to spare any feelings -- if you say "no" it just means "no." He'll get over it. You definitely wouldn't say yes just keep his feelings from being hurt, would you? Of course not.
2007-12-23 09:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really can't spare his feelings, b/c at this point he's "feeling" with his penis!
Better to just not put yourself in that situation. Don't invite guys back to your house after a date, for example.
If it comes up (no pun intended) just say "I find you very sexy, but I'm not ready to have sex at this point in our relationship."
If he presses on, say "Look, if you're going to turn into crazy stalker rapist guy, can you please just leave now?"
2007-12-23 09:57:03 · answer #10 · answered by Shana B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋