i had a huge fight with my mother?

Question

i'm a senior in high school, and i'm applying to colleges. i have a huge deadline in a week, where three apps are due.

today, my mother woke me up and told me she was cleaning the garage and needed my help. i helped her for like an hour, but after that, i started telling her that i needed to work on my apps because of the deadline.

she got so mad! she started yelling about how i didn't love her because i wouldn't help her, and that even if i got into a college, i would flunk out and end up working in some low-salary job.

she started talking about how poorly i did in school [i've always done well in school, except for my junior year in hs because i took really hard courses] and how i never do any work [but i always clean the house and whenever she had a deadline for her schoolwork, i took over her responsibilities so she wouldn't have to worry].

should i apologize, or just ignore her? i'm scared that what she said about me never being successful will come true.

i would apologize, but i'm so sick of her always putting me down. i mean, i accept the fact that i did poorly in school last year, but she keeps telling me how i can never be successful because i don't work hard enough. this year, i'm working really hard in school and have really good grades in hard courses, and she doesn't even appreciate it.

she's always telling me that i should treat her with respect, but should she treat me with respect and stop bashing on me all the time?

Answer 1

ignore her. youre better than that. just let her calm down. maybe she's pms-ing?

my mom acts like this ALL the time.

and i just got into college. lol. maybe thats whats putting alot of stress on her.


GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

I'm a high school junior living with a single mother, and we get into these kinds of arguments ALL OF THE TIME. When my mom is always too exhausted or stressed to do house chores, she will ask me to help--and if I'm busy with school work or studying, she will yell at me the same way.

Before the school year started, I already explained to her that I will be taking AP/Honors classes, so if I come home with a C on my progress reports, she will understand. Therefore, my grades are never questioned when we argue, because she knows exactly what I want to achieve beyond high school. Communication is a huge factor in these situations.

Usually in this kind of situation, I never express how I feel or anything. The more I express how I feel, the more she will think I'm trying to make up excuses. In most cases I just apologize to her (even if I know I'm right) and say, "I'm sorry I made you angry for...but please allow me to help you when I finish..."

Even though when I know I'm right and she knows I'm right, I still apologize because I don't want to argue with her. I believe by arguing more, I am only proving to myself that I am disrespectful. I understand I may not have the most "perfect" mom with the "best" parental guidance, but I still show that I respect her by apologizing as a sign of courtesy. Ignorance hurts you more than your mom. Besides, at least when you apologize, your mom will understand that you had the courtesy to show that you love her.

Answer 3

Ok. Your Mom was wrong in sooooo many ways. She should not put you down like that. Most mothers are about school first, then other stuff. Ignore your Mom for a couple of days. She should calm down and eventually apologize. That happened to me and my bff yesterday. She got mad over the stupidest thing ever so I left. I did'nt come back outside, so then she started sending me notes, and she kept saying, sorry sorry, its my fault, etc. and no we've made up. it works all the time. you keep working on your schoolwork. you WILL be sucessful!! good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

I get into those things all the time with my mom/dad. It's a pain in the you-know-what. I know what you mean. I'm senior in High School too. My dad/mom are really expecting to graduate on the National Honor Society/Honor Roll/ and everything else that looks great for colleges when you graduated. But I hate confrontation-so It's for me to do this, but you should talk to her. I'm THE BIGGEST procrastinator, I know that, and I won't deny it. I'm a last-minute-person. "Don't do today what you can do tomorrow"...
but my point is, it was her fault for yelling at you and saying those really hurtful things to you. But she probably blew up because you've been putting it off or you didn't do when you weren't being asked to do something else. But, talk to her, and explain the filling apps takes allot of time. I'm still stuck on 1 app. because of the crappy essay that i need to write for it-but anyway, I'll get it done (eventually).

I hope this helps--

Answer 5

Get your apps done now. Don't be scared that what he said will come true. It is your motivation and dedication to studies that will determine your outcome. Maybe your mom is having anxiety contemplatin the empty nest sydrome..whatever the case, complete your applications sooner than later so next time you can help her without a fight that will only distract you. Explain after all your paperwork is complete that at the time that was the most important thing you needed to be working on for your future. I hope she apologizes for the mean distructive things she said to you. It was uncalled for.

Answer 6

It sounds like your mom may be the one with some issues. You not helping her long enough in the garage has nothing to do with the things she said to you. Perhaps she wasn't successful in her career choice after high school. Maybe she see's you going away to college as a loss. Are you an only child?

Maybe you can sit down and gently ask where the anger really came from. Tell her you really need her support in applying for these colleges.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Actually I feel she needs to apologize to you.Sometimes we express our own believes on our children,it has no bearing on you but reflects our own inner fears which we should keep to ourselves,instead of exploding out loud.I know its important what your mom thinks about you but your success depends only on you,not on what negitive remarks she makes.Regardless of how much money you make it doesn't make you the person you are and its more important to do something that makes you happy.Sometimes we can take on too much responsibilities,they become spoiled and expect more from us than we can give.You will be successful,you wouldn't be where you are this year if you didn't work hard for it.Forget about last year,this is a new year,great things ahead for you if you believe in yourself,forgive your mom,we are not perfect,make many mistakes,espically with our mouths,keep working hard and you will achieve your desires.Maybe if its possible you could sit down with her and share your feelings and how you felt when she said what she said.Sometimes we need to be aware of what comes out of our mouth,we wouldn't like it said to us.

Answer 8

Dear friend,
Relax. Both of you have had your own emergencies and that's why you ended up fighting. Relax.Probably after a day, when she is free go to her. Make her tea and invite her for a tea party at least at the dining table or if possible in the garden. Let her speak or start talking to her about the weather or something. Let her start and then before she becomes emotional apologize and let her relax. Speak to her quietly telling her how much you love her. Try to communicate through eyes and tears. Then slowly tell her how you were hurt and explain to her about your motives.

Answer 9

Just give her a little bit to calm down, your mom maybe having a hard time with you going off to college. She did react in a bad way, but some people blow off steam in different ways. Don't let this damage your relationship with your mother, your about to go off to college, and family ties are going to be a big help to get through college physically and mentally. If she doesnt come to you to apologize go and talk to her tommorrow, and explain to her that college is what you want to do, and that it would mean so much to you if she supported you. Tell her that your not mad at her for what she says and say that you understand how hard it must be to let your child go off to college. Let her know that you will always love her, and keep in contact while off to college, but you need her support if your going to make it. Trust me it will be ok, and youll do great in college!

Answer 10

It sounds like your mom was having a bad day or maybe she's stressed out about the holidays. It was nice of you to help her out for a little while, but she should realize that you have goals to achieve. She should be proud that you are so adamant at going to college because some mothers have to beg and plead for their children to go. I'd not apologize to her, but let her know that her saying you'd not be successful hurt your feelings and that you WILL be successful and that you'd appreciate if she'd stand behind you.

Answer 11

I wouldn't apologize. What mother in their right mind would tell their child,REGARDLESS of if you pissed her off or not, that he or she was going to flunk out of college? that is horrible. Your parents are supposed to be supportive of you. YOU are in control of your future! just because she is being mean and telling you these things does not mean that is what is going to happen. If you want to succeed in college, you can do it. I know it sucks to hear a parent say these things to you because you look to them for support, but just know that college is the most important thing you will ever do. Dont just start college, finish college. Make something great of yourself and dont pay attention to the people trying to bring you down. I will not stand up for the mom in any case. Even if she was mad bc she needed help, even if she was sad about you leaving. Regardless of the reason, she is your mother and should not say things like that about your future. She should be so proud that you are wanting to go and she should tell you how well you are going to do. Prove her wrong!