For those of you who do not have a religion, how do you cope with death?

Question

Example - a married couple, with two kids... the husband dies at age 45 from cancer. if you have no faith that the two lovers will meet again in heaven, than how can you deal with the fact that, that beautiful relationship is over, forever, and the wife has to live out her days without him, regardless if some day she finds another. Its just not fair.
This has happened to a friend of mines mother recently, and i cant help but worry that someday this has to happen to all of us. I cannot bring myself to believe in something just to make me feel better. So to all atheists, how do you, or would you deal with death like this?

Answer 1

It's tragic.

That fact is what makes the relationship so valuable while they're both still alive.

Answer 2

Death is as inevitable as birth. It comes to every living thing in the universe. It's perfectly normal to grieve at the loss of a loved one....grieving is part of the healing process.

But, death will come to us and to those we love in anycase. It is not mysterious or horrible or outrageous; it is simply the end of life.

If you spend all of your life fearing death, then your life will be diminished....there is no "do-over", this is it. Once you have accepted the fact that you are not going to live forever - and neither are the ones you love, you can get on with enjoying your life and your loved ones.

Some people gain some comfort in believing in an "afterlife" of some sort... That's OK with me...but, when you spend your whole life praying to some god to spare you and to make you an angel after death, then you are simply wasting time...your death is a fact.

There has never been anyone who has returned from death to speak of an afterlife...there is no proof of an afterlife; not scientific or religious. So, I say, stop worrying about it and start living.

Answer 3

It's reality. Bad things happen. It might help if you stopped romanticizing the afterlife - and this life. Many relationships that look (and are presented as) perfect from the outside aren't really that way - especially if one person is dying. I've known spouses who wouldn't leave someone they hated when that person became terminally ill. Instead of focusing on this idealized "perfect" relationship she had, think about her future. She meets another guy. THEY have a great relationship. They die - so now she goes back to the original guy, who maybe wasn't so great in comparison? What about the great guy she met - suppose his ex was a horrible wench and he was so happy he'd finally found a great love - but now he's stuck for eternity with the hag?

Life isn't fair. If it was, I might actually be convinced there was a loving father figure watching over us.

Answer 4

Actually I think it's easier if you are atheist. No worries about heaven or hell, or if you picked the correct God, or whether you prayed enough or sinned too much. No worries about whether your family members end up in hell or purgatory; no tricky questions about whether you will recognise your family or what age you will be in heaven. No waiting out your days until it's time for you to meet again, or wondering whether the spirit of your dead partner would approve of your new partner. You just die like the rest of the living things on the planet and that's it. I would like to think that after death you become one with nature, so in effect after death you are everywhere....although admittedly this is straying into the realms of agnosticism rather than atheism.

Answer 5

Alcoholics use alcohol to deal with their problems. By this logic, alcohol is a good thing for an alcoholic. Death happens to all of us. Convincing yourself that there is an afterlife will not make it so. Religion, much like alcohol, simply provides a way of coping. Albeit, a false way.

When we lose a loved one we mourn just like the believers and we eventually move on just like believers. The only difference is, we don't console ourselves with idea that we will see the person again because when we die we believe that's it. It is slightly odd that theists would be so sad when their loved ones die if they know they will see them again...

Answer 6

Upon death, I celebrate whatever life was lived. That's all we can do, isn't it? No one "knows" if there is an afterlife or not. We can't half-*** our lives, expecting that there's going to be an eternity after death. It isn't fair, but that's how life is. It's up to us to make the best out of the time that we do have rather than relying on a mere possibility.

Answer 7

Death is the end of it all. Grieve for awhile, then remember the good times. All of us animals must die. It is the nature of life. Evolution is happening and we must help it so our ancestors can learn all about the universe. If you need a purpose in life, other than living, that is what it could be.


Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

Answer 8

Everything alive eventually dies. Thats just the way it is. I pity those who can only deal with it by believing in fantasies, but I suppose if that was all it was for, it would not be so bad.

My father died fairly recently, I was very sad at the loss, but I never for one second contemplated seeing him again in some vague spiritual plane. It is just beyond all reason to believe such things.

"Be thankful that you have a life, and forsake your vain and presumptuous desire for a second one."

Dawkins.

Answer 9

You just answered your own question when you wrote I cannot bring myself to believe in something just to make me feel better. Death is something we all have to do it is a process it is the cost of being. It hurts and you gradually heal this is a part of life and that is why it is important to let people love you and vice versa everyday.

Answer 10

You can believe and learn about an afterlife without having a belief in religion. The ones with the most current knowledge - psychics and such - are usually not religious at all. Buddhists also are aware of the afterlife without a belief in a god.

Answer 11

I just accept it and move on.

I understand that oblivion awaits us both, but that such is not a bad thing. After all, with respects to Mark Twain, I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born. I don't remember being inconvenienced by it in the slightest.