1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it
any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
'eggnog-aholic' or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it! Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think.
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one
pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert
-- Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread
tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember: 'Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather
to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming 'WOO-HOO what a ride!'
Merry Christmas!
2007-12-23 09:26:51 · 18 answers · asked by Fr3dinbed 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
i couldnt agree more fred
happy xmas to you and all
2007-12-23 09:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by ISAIAH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Laughing all by myself!!!
I'm so glad someone else feels like I do about Eggnog....
I think this should be posted on every Fridge everywhere too... & may be on the Bathroom mirror as a reminder!!!
Wonderful Job!!! Cheers to you!! & Merry Christmas Too!!!
2007-12-23 10:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by Babette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank you for your kind Christmas wishes. I have followed all of your tips. Fortunately I have til June to get the weight off before swimsuit season arrives and I must bear my midsection to public inspection. As Rosalind Russell said in "Mame"--Life is a banquet and half the suckers are out there starving!
2007-12-23 09:31:41 · answer #3 · answered by jxt299 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now this is my kinda list...enjoy, that's what it's all there for. All my friends are gonna get a copy of this one!! It has stars all over it. Luv the eggnog & the mashed taters with real milk. but my favorite is the cut out cookies. Merry Christmas Fred n thanks for sharing this !!
2007-12-23 11:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by PJ ~88~ FAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
I found a free download of Mame32 here: http://bitly.com/1p0CATQ
Mame is a game emulator which let users to play arcade games in their PC. It is actually an acronym for Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator.
Give it a try.
2014-08-26 19:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
Here I got Mame32 for free: http://bit.ly/1p0Cf3r
it's a perfectly working link, no scam !
It's my favourite game.
Regards
2014-08-22 15:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You forgot the WHISKEY, BRANDY, VODKA. Why go sideways when you can go Head First. HAPPY CHRISTMAS to you all. To them that worry about swim suit why bother whats wrong with birthday suit
2007-12-23 09:46:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree. im tired of hearing people saying "i cant eat that it has to many calories" good for you. Merry Christmas
2007-12-23 09:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by lily m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good list young man
star award
2007-12-23 09:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
very sensible.ha ha . will try my best.
happy christmas.
2007-12-23 09:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by heavymetalbitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋