Stay at home moms only please?

Question

One of my inlaws is a single mother and has her child in daycare for up to 12 hours each day. I left my career to stay home with my child. Lately I have been hearing about the so-called "benefits" of daycare from a couple of my inlaws. Like "oh Janey is walking early because she sees the other kids at daycare" or "Janey plays so well with the other children because of daycare". I'm just getting frustrated because I want more credit for what I do! I don't think there are ANY benefits to daycare for a toddler. Anyone else ever get strange comments from family about staying at home? Oh another comment I've gotten from a working mom was "I don't know HOW you do it". Like it's so bad to stay home or something. Okay, I had to vent! Thanks!

For the person that wrote "I don't understand how you put your child in daycare for 12 hours a day and call yourself a stay-at-home mom", you obviously didn't read my question. My inlaw has her child in daycare 12 hours a day, not me! I'm with my child 24/7, thank you!

Answer 1

i know what you mean. although i dont know that many kids in daycare, my sis put her baby in daycare, while she was "looking" for a job. well the baby would be in daycare while she was at home "sleeping."

she was no longer with the father and he paid for the daycare. my sis would always say little things like that. hes doing good in daycare, hes eating this and that, hes doing whatever. my thoughts were always.... yeah thats what you're supposed to be doing with him, not complete strangers. of course i never had the guts to tell her that.

she would always say his favorite foods or who he liked at daycare. she never actually experienced these things with him it was just a report that she got at the end of the day saying what he did.

i am a stay at home mom. i dont want to do daycare. the only thing i think of is dropping my child off and having him "WAIT" to see me all day long. i cant do it!

Answer 2

The most important job is being a Mom. I'm a full-time Mom first and foremost and a Part-time Librarian too. My husband and I were in need financially so I had to make the hard choice of getting a job when my son was 9 month. So I found a job that would work with me and not give me more than 20 hr a week. and with a Library were closed on holidays and Sunday so it was a good fit. But I refuse to put my son in a daycare where no one will truly Love him. So he is watched my either family or a couple of women from Church. I really wish I could be home all the time with him and watch his first everything but for us at this time it couldn't happen meanwhile I pray that I can with our next Child.

Answer 3

I was a stay at home dad, until very recently.

The comment, "I don't know HOW you do it" usually refers to their own shortcomings as a parent. They don't see how they could be stuck in the same room with their child for more than a few minutes. It is very noticeable in the behavior of the child.

If you look at a large school system with a diverse population, you will notice that there is a single school that is doing better then the others. This school invariably is full of children who had a parent raise them instead of a daycare.

I had my daughter in a daycare for half days the 6 months before K5. During this time she was able to socialize with the rest of the kids just as well as if she had been there the length of her life. In most respects she was far advanced over those children, and to this day she benefits from her father's upbringing. (I kind of like Math and English, and so we started at a very early age doing things out of the ordinary in those areas.... Now in 6th grade, she is getting A's in her 8th grade math class, and continually scores in the top .03% in the nation in English.... she couldn't get that kind of stuff from daycare)

So keep it up, those who say nay to bringing up their own children would just as soon not have children in my opinion, I far more respect those that say, "I wish we could do that too," which is always a cop out as it is possible for anyone to raise their own children.... though sometimes you do have to sacrafice the 3rd car or the 5th laptop to do it.

Answer 4

I enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom. I joined our local MOMS Club chapter and got together with other stay-at-home moms for weekly playgroups and monthly Mom's night out. It was a huge benefit to be around people who made the same choice I had to stay home. Once our children turned 3, we opted to place them in preschool together part time for 2 mornings per week. It gave us the much needed break and gave our children some independence too!

I don't understand putting a child in daycare for 12 hours per day when you call yourself a stay-at-home mom: too bad that child wasn't a stay-at-home kid!

Answer 5

My applause to all you stay at home moms and dads. It certainly isn't easy being a stay at home parent, nor is it easy to be a working parent with a child in daycare. I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom til our youngest went to kindergarten and then I went to work parttime til she was in school all day. We never regretted those years. We went without new cars, new clothes, second homes or cottages, and yearly vacations for 13 years til all our kids were in school. (Never did get that vacation cottage, either!) My kids didn't sit in a corner all day, either. We did fun and educational projects and day trips, tons of craft and art projects. They each progressed at their own rate as they grew, excelled in high school and college, have great careers, and all my daughters are stay at home moms, doing the same things with their kids I did with mine. Those moms who brag about their kids in daycare/preschool are probably somewhat jealous of you and secretly wish they could stay home more, too.

I like the answer someone gave, Just smile and say, "How nice." And for those who say,"I don't know how you do it.", just smile and say, "It's so easy. You should really try it sometime."

Answer 6

i read an article awhile back that said a stay at home mom, works the equivalent of 3 full time jobs, and i think that's totally true, i mean, we are, 1. Nanny's 2. cleaners 3 laundrettes 4 drivers 5 councelers.... the list go's on. and yes i agree, there are so much more benefits from a child spending all day with its mother than in a daycare. x

Answer 7

These people who make comments like that are trying to make up for their own guilt and insecurities. Don't let them get to you. You know you are doing the right thing for your child, and so do they. They just won't admit it. Daycare has been proven to cause children to be aggressive. Stay strong and realize that every time someone makes a comment like that to you, it validates your decision to stay home even more.

Answer 8

okay, well i'm just a kid but my mom has always been a stay at home mom since she had my older brother.
alot of my friends moms are too.
personally, i think it's better for a young child for you to be stay at home mom. your little one won't get any of those viruses going around with kids and i'm sure you give her plenty of one on one time to learn and develop. if your child is doing fine, ignore waht the others say or tell them all the things your child can do from staying home and about how she never gets sick.
i know i'm just a kid but i hope i helped a little bit.

Answer 9

lol, I've been told that I am worthless and that I'll never amount to anything by my inlaws because I choose to stay at home. They are "concerned" about their son since I "make" him work so hard. WHATEVER......

My children benefit by me staying home with them. When they grow up they will remember Mom always being here with them. I also get to witness their first steps, first words, etc......whereas parents who put their kids in daycare sometimes miss out.

Answer 10

I am a stay at home mom, and I really do not like daycare. I don't think it helps kids, like your in-laws have said. But I respect both working moms and stay at home moms. Some of us are lucky enough to stay home but not everyone is, like my sister she works, but also could not see putting her daughter in daycare, so I watch her during the day.