I'm going to my boyfriend's family's house on Christmas Day and his SIL just had a baby. They'll more than likely try to get me to hold her. I don't really like babies, they make me uncomfortable. How can I poltely decline without looking like I'm making excuses or being rude? I really don't want to offend anyone, especially on Christmas. (No rude comments please, kids aren't for everyone)
2007-12-23 06:09:10 · 23 answers · asked by dolce 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
TOTALLY agree; I HATE that...I just smile and say no thank you. Whatever they think is out of my hands. NEVER liked babies.
2007-12-23 07:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would go for the lame excuse - " Oh no, I think I'm coming down with a cold" -- normally I would say be honest and just say you are not comfortable holding babies (which is perfectly fine!) - but, since it's your boyfriend's family - some women think that if a female does not like to hold and cuddle babies, it means they are cold and uncaring. So I'd go with the excuse, unless you've known the family a long time and they already know that you are not cold and bitchy, lol. Have a merry Christmas!
2007-12-23 14:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by missknowitall 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I feel your dillemma! Not everyone is as keen on little babies as the proud parents, or ogling relatives. I'd say that you're getting over a bit of a cold, and it wouldn't be a good idea to hold the baby out of concern for his or her health :)
the mother won't object, and it'll look good on you for being conscientious of the child's wellbeing.
A little white lie would do only good in a situation like this. Just make sure to tell your boyfriend your plan so he doesn't bust you!
2007-12-23 14:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pixel 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I find that when I say 'sure! I'd be keen to see if it fits into my oven.' usually means they even forget they ask you, and you're also off baby-sitting (and icky nappy-changing) duties indefinitely.
2014-12-03 16:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is difficult. No matter what you say, parents get mad if you don't want to hold their baby and take it as a personal insult.
Too bad! Hold your ground and say you are not comfortable. Don't give in to them.
Or you could make sure you are holding a plate of food or a wine glass the entire time you are there.
2007-12-23 14:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by JD 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am the same way....I usually make light of the situation (for me) by saying a joke, like "I don't pick up babies, until they can brace for a fall." Or you can just admit to being far clumsier than you really are.....no mother (especially a new one) would hand their child over to a "butter fingers."
Or, you can fake a sore throat, and mention that you'd rather not get the baby sick.....that's a great one, noone's going to hand over a child to a sick person.
Be creative withou being offensive.....feel out the people, and decide whether a joke, is the way to go.....or the more serious route such as a cold.
Good luck.
2007-12-23 14:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by Chris 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Just say, No, I really don't think I should, and leave it at that....
Don't be uncomfortable, not everyone wants to hold a baby.
2007-12-23 19:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm trying my best to introduce the term "Child uncomfortable" It sounds better than I don't like kids or even GAG! I hate children. It also suggests that the fault is definitely yours and not the innocent if juicy baby that did nothing to make you dislike them other than be helpless, and in etiquette matters it's always best to suggest blame lies with you than with the persons offering you a perceived privilege.
If pressed I usually mention that I am afraid of breaking the child.
2007-12-23 14:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by SnakEve 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i have 2 kids and i wouldnt have been offended when they were little if some one said, no thank you i would rather not. and you could just say, she's really cute, but holding her would make me nervous. i'm sure lots of other people will be wanting to hold her and oogle how cute she is so you might not even get a chance......(that happened on thanksgiving at my friends house, the grandparents and friends wanted to hold the babies so much the mom didnt even have him for but 2 minutes.....
2007-12-23 14:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by nightbutterfly69 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, you can tell them that you don't feel comfortable holding a baby....have you ever held a baby before? If not, tell them that you never have, and you'd rather not hold the baby. If they keep insisting, just keep saying...no, thank you. You're right, babies are not for everyone. Just tell them you're not comfortable.
2007-12-23 14:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bree 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you will get stuck with people who want to force you to hold their babies!
As a mom I can tell you that anyone who declines to hold my baby is fine with me - I wasn't a kid person until I had one of my own so I can totally understand your reluctance. Just say "Thanks, she's very cute, but I am not really comfortable holding babies" or , of course, the "Thanks but I'm coming down with a cold" will work every time - although you might have to put up with some nasty looks as the people you are with silently rebuke you for even coming to the gathering with a cold.
One thing you don't want to do (and I'm sure you won't) is say "no thanks, I'm just not a baby person". I made that mistake with my boyfriend's family (now my in-laws) when we were first dating. It took years until they forgave me my anti-children statement - actually my mother-in-law never forgot it until we provided her with a grandchild, ten years later!
Good luck and have fun!
2007-12-23 14:35:11 · answer #11 · answered by Mirage 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋