I am getting so angry and fed up... am i being stupid about this?

Question

My boyfried has not one, not two... no even three but FOUR ex girlfriends that still consider him a friend/'best' friend.

why cant he see how strange this is too keep these women all hanging around?

barely a day goes by when our day isnt interrupted by a text/phone call or email from at least one of them.

i cant stand it. i dont think its right and i have tried talking to him about it. he says he understands but has never explained why he needs to keep all these women.

normally when you break up thats that. if you break up then there is no more love... if there is no more love there shouldnt be anymore friendship... especially the way some of them (all come to think of it have done him wrongs) treat him!!

i cant stand it and i dont know how to deal with the jelousy. i didnt think i was a jelous person. honest.

any advice at all is greatly appreciated. thanks in advance

ex'scant remain friends purely for the reason that it is unfair on the new person to have to deal with them and the baggage they bring by still being around.

ps incause you guys were wondering how serious this relationship is... we now live together and are oping to get engaged soon and obviously married after that.

but not now and not like this

Answer 1

Your guy obviously loves women and their company! I went out with a guy for a year or so who was like this...he was such a nice, funny person to be around that he stayed friends with all his exs too! When I broke up with him, he was so loving and kind to me, that we also stayed friends, and he is godfather to my youngest son!

It's good to remain friends with an ex; of course, it's not always possible or desirable...but I take your point about trying to keep a good thing going when you have all this extra company around!

If you have tried talking to him and explaining how you feel....you may have to resign yourself to the fact that he is a kind and popular person...after all, why did you fall for him in the first place?

I am also good friends with another ex, and meet him socially once or twice a year...in a funny, non-sexual way, I think we still love each other. My partner knows this and accepts it for what it is; a friendship. I would feel very resentful if he tried to control it, or limit it in any way.

I don't know what to say to you; you seem to have worked hard on coping with how you feel; look into your heart and ask yourself; what am I afraid of?

Answer 2

If the guy had a real impact on the girl, there is no way she's planning on letting him go. There's an attachment that they have to him that is impossible to get rid of, and if they can't have him they'll settle for the next best thing. Even though he can't get rid of them, it doesn't mean that you don't mean the world to him. I would try to think of it from a different point of view, especially since he has to take your hating it even though he can't get rid of them. It's hard on him too! Maybe even talking to his ex's and letting them get to know you so they realize you're whats best for him might work. I've been through the same thing, and its hard, but there's not too much you can do about it.

Answer 3

He isn't going to stop talking to them because he don't have to. He know what he's doing is wrong and you're not doing anything about it. You plan on marrying him and he stills talks to all of his ex's. No telling what else he is doing with them. He doesn't care about your feelings and he thinks that they're more important than you. If he cares about your feelings he would stop talking to them period. It's only going to get worst once you get married.

Tell him it's either you are them.. Either he will stop or he will find a better way to communicate without you knowing. What are you afraid of. If he chooses them, then that just shows you he never really wanted to be with you.

Answer 4

It is possible to maintain friendship if you were in a casual dating relationship and neither of you were in love (or even when only one person was in love with the other)....then you just drifted apart over time. That happens all the time. There aren't any big blow-ups and acrimonious break-ups.
If this guy is young and this is his pattern, he may just want to keep these girls on a string, so that when he is dateless he can call on them for friendship. This would be easy for him to do if he has no feelings for them. Or one or more of the girls, may still have feelings for him and they are just waiting for the next chance.
The important thing is that you know how he feels about you, and is honest about the messages he gets...it is when he starts hiding things that you have reason to worry.

Answer 5

The first thing I would think is...at least he takes the calls in front of me...That's a good thing......He obviously doesn't see these "ex's" as any kind of threat to you or your relationship.

I'm guessing you've spoken to your boyfriend about this and explained how this is making you feel.

If you haven't...you should get this out in the open and sorted ....."new year's resolution".

Otherwise..... it will eat away at you and your relationship.

Merry Christmas and a wonderful "new "year!

Answer 6

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/Qlwgj

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 7

get out of this relationship while you still have some self-esteem. he's controlling and manipulative and likes having a hareem..you will never trust him and he's the type that leave a trail of bad feeling and tears in his wake..these women are not happy if they stay in touch..he's hurt them so bad they can't move on...please save yourself...i know from experience how hurt you can get

Answer 8

I think your apprehensions are completely normal. I would not permit my husband to maintain regular contact with his ex's, as we all know old relationships can be rekindled at any time. When I met my then boyfriend (now husband) I cut off all my old ties immediately when got engaged.

If you have told him how you feel, why is he not cutting ties with these women? I think you have to put it in no uncertain terms that its not acceptable. When his exes call him next, TELL HIM that he has to explain to them , diplomatically and politely that he is now in a serious relationship, and has to cut old ties out of respect for the woman he loves. Spell it out for him. AT least then, if he continues, you know that he is blatantly disregarding your feelings, and you can decide what you need to do from there onwards.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I bought the "Text you ex back" ebook and it has been a real help through possibly the hardest time of my life. It's an intensive guide that explains hot to bring your ex back using simple text messages. This is the site where you can find the whole system http://getyourexback.toptips.org

Answer 10

i think its dumb for him to still keep in touch with his exes. it brings up the feelings they had before. its better for you to find a man who takes you serious. you don't like him being with his exes. he shouldn't be with his exes. its as simple as that breakup means breakup. why can't he get it? i would break up with him soon. if he doesn't understand. it is not jealousy, its that you feel, like i would feel, the relationship can't go anywhere when you keep having ex girlfriends being thrown in the picture. why bring them in the picture, it should be you and him building a relationship. what kind of skeletons do these exes bring up? do they still have feelings for him?