This guy used to be mad after her but she never took him as a bf kind. They became good friends though. But I have never liked the guy as person too. He is a snob, arrogant and what not. I even know that he had almost brought her to tears a few times. Now, sometimes when she mentions him in our conversations, i find myself at a complete loss for words. I wonder if she has noticed, but I'm not able to tell her that I don't like her talking about the guy. What should I do?
2007-12-23 05:57:17 · 19 answers · asked by placebo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You find a way to tell her that you're not a fan of the guy and would rather not hear about him. COMMUNICATE. She can't read your mind, but you'd better believe she'll notice (and question you) if you just stop listening to her.
If you're not going to do anything to try to stop or change the behavior, then you don't have a right to fuss about it.
2007-12-23 06:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your cue from her, if she is just mentioning him as a friend, just make some type of innocuous comment. If he does something that isn't very nice and she comments about it, I think you would be right to say that you don't think a good friend would behave that way.
If she seems to have a "crush" on him and is mentioning him to try to make you jealous then I would just ask why she is doing it, and tell her how it makes you feel when she talks about him.
2007-12-23 14:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to let it go...it can sometimes be irritating to hear about people you don't particularly like or trust interacting with someone you love, but it's gonna happen. I'd say if she just says stuff like, "He's going to Chicago this spring." Or, "I guess he's working at some new place." Just nod and react like normal..."Oh, really..." type of answers. If she is saying stuff like, "He keeps hitting on me." Or "He was saying how hot I look in this shirt." You need to say, "Hey, baby. I know he's your friend and all, but I don't think its cool that he's saying stuff like that to you. He needs to respect that you're in a relationship now." That way, you can let her know what he's saying isn't cool without looking like a super-jealous or petty guy. If it's just casual conversation, you need to just chill and try not to let jealousy get to you...it's a tricky thing. Also, I'm not saying this is the case, but my friend used to always talk about her exes and people who like her to her current boyfriend because it was her way of showing him she was attractive to other people. She felt insecure about their relationship and so she was trying to make him aware that he wasn't the only guy who thought she was cool.
2007-12-23 14:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by Cyrese C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she starts in on that, start talking about how hot you find some other girl. Interrupt her, be graphic, ask her why she doesn't wear more revealing clothes, etc. Then once you have the upper hand and she's sitting there with her mouth hanging open, break up with her sorry game-playing self.
2007-12-23 14:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by DeFreeze 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should lether know that you have something you want to talk about with her that means a lot to you and tell her how you feel, but be considerate of her still being friends with him. Its totally normal for you to feel this way because they used to date. She might not notice that you get quiet, she might just think you're listening to her.
I don't think you should at all TELL her what to do, that would just make me upset for my boyfriend to get that way, but if she cares about you she will care about how something is making you feel.
2007-12-23 14:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by Trin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that just by showing an obvious lack of interest, when she brings him up in converation.. surely she'll get the hint, and drop it. But if not, and it bothers you as bad as it seems.. you're going to have to say something about it..
2007-12-23 14:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe she's telling you things, between the lines....like,"here's what I DON'T like a guy to do or be."
Take heed, do not shutoff! Listen and try avoid doing or saying things that this girl did NOT like about this guy!
Elysabeth
2007-12-23 14:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, honesty is the best policy. If she doesn't know you don't like the guy, why should she even stop talking about him (good or bad)? If you decide to tell her make sure you let her know why you don't like him, girls tend to want to know "why?".
Goodluck.
2007-12-23 14:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by pchicaq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your girlfriend. You shouldn't feel intimidated by this other guy. She chose you! Not him! Right? You have to learn to be comfortable with your girlfriend having guy friends. Even with a jerk like him. Haha. But just keep in mind that she's with you and she likes you, not him.
2007-12-23 14:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by CarolinaaGirl19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason she does it, is because she could be trying to make you jealous on purpose, in which chase tell her that you don't want to be made jealous. Or because she likes him and is turning it around, so you need to ask her straight whether she does. Because i wouldn't like to be in that situation.
2007-12-23 14:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋