DH and I have an 8yr old son- he is a stepson to DH. DH and I have a 2yr old daughter. We have only been married 4 years and DH parents (his dad is his stepdad) have never wanted our son to call them anything other than their first names.
Our families have feuded for the last three years and they have just now started to get to know DD in the last 6 months. Our DD calls MIL- "Abuella" not by our doing but she did it on her own, courtesy of Dora the Explorer. MIL hates being called Abuella (we are not spanish in decent, nor is MIL) She called yesterday and said she wants DD to call her "mama nay" I politely told her that I don't like "mama" as part of the grandparent name. That is what DD calls me and it is seems very confusing.
She told me that was too bad because she and her two daughters (my SILS) want her to be called that when they have children and she doesn't want the children to have different names for her.
What is the best way to tell her no and let DD "name" her?
2007-12-23 05:02:54 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well they have issues with granny, grandpa because they sound too old and they want something cool. Our Daughter came up with abuella and I told MIL she should be proud her granddaughter is able to speak another language and utilize it. She said that is nice but she doesn't care to be called that.
Now I remember why the feuding lasted so long :)
2007-12-23 05:31:09 · update #1
Honestly I got kind of lost in the abbreviations. But I think everyone is getting a bit too involved in something that doesn't matter. Most children use a name comfortable for them, sometimes something they create or hear frequently, and sometimes it just evolves from their being unable to pronounce long words at a very young age.
I had the same problem when my in-laws wanted to be called Me-maw and Be-paw. We saw them so seldom that I would have had to remember to refer to them that way in conversations anytime my daughter was listening, and honestly the names sounded so silly I just couldn't.
I think any nick-name the kids come up with should be suitable and when they create their own it shows affection.
Just tell her that your child has created an affectionate name for her, and that telling her it wasn't proper to use that name would make her feel rejected. If the mother-in-law brings it up again just repeat the same point. She can't argue about it if you don't participate.
2007-12-23 05:15:00 · answer #1 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MIL is a control freak who seems to be more worried about a name that she is called by a little one who should be a light in her life.
when my children were little, i began calling my own parents grandma and grandpa and my kids just picked that up... on the other hand when i referred to my MIL i called her grandma millie and so did my kids.
2007-12-23 05:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness, your MIL needs to grow up and let you be the parent! She can't just go about changing her name! That isn't fair to anyone! Why can't she just be called Grandma? I would also take issue iwth the " mama nay" as well. Good for you for sticking up to her. I think it's time your husband steps in and tells her what he thinks...
2007-12-23 05:27:23 · answer #3 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your MIL is making a big deal out of nothing. These are children, let them be and why does it matter what they call them as long as they are a part of their grandparent's lives?
2007-12-23 05:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by karisob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not want to be abuela either, but that is just me. So far my grand daughter can't say Grandma, it kind of sounds like Gom, I hope as she gets older she will perfect Grandma. I would not want my kids to call their grandma mama anything either. Have your daughter practice saying grandma and however it comes out, that will be her name for her.
2007-12-23 12:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by snowwillow20 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋