I'd like my 7 year old to help more around the house...?

Question

He already helps quite a bit with his sister who is 2..I don't want to force him or overwhelm him to the point that he thinks negatively towards chores (my mom did that to me and as an adult I wish she would have put a more positive spin on it...no one likes to clean and tidy but it's part of life) I also do not think $$ is the answer. I will NOT now or ever pay my kids to clean up after themselves or clean the house as I strongly believe this should be a shared task.
What do you think? How could I get him more motivated to clean up after himself (mainly his own belongings)?

Answer 1

It is great that he helps with his sister, and that you want him to have a few simple chores. I agree that it should not be tied to money - just what a family does right?

I would simply have a talk with him that now that he is getting bigger he can help out around the house. Give him a list of things he can do and let him pick 2 or 3. Some examples are: setting the table for dinner, making his bed, picking up toys before bed(that might be a mandatory one), feeding a pet, sweeping the floor once a week, helping to put groceries away, putting laundry away.
Tell him these are his responsibility and that you will ask him once to do them, but if he does not get them done by the end of the day he will lose a privelage the next day like tv time or computer games. Don't make a huge deal out of it but also let him know it is his part as a family member. And remember to thank him when he does his chore, especially if he does it without asking. Sounds like a good kid!

Answer 2

I find that the less I nag, the more my 8 year old does. We has some snow the other day and she even shoveled LOL... She has her OWN shovel and I think having their own supplies helps- kids this age while still kids love to know that they're independent. So if you want dusting done give him his own windex (they should know not to drink it) and a cloth. Don't complain if there's a tad too much spraying (like a pool hahah)
If you want his room cleaned then tell him if it isn't done by (whenever) you're gonna do it which means you get discretion over what's trash and what goes where. My daughter is a pack rat so that works with her (sometimes)
I don't believe in giving money for things they should be doing anyway either. Money is for extras around here.

Answer 3

Ok I had the same problem just getting my son to pick up HIS things. First I told him that I wanted him to pick up his things. I warned him that I was going to get a garbage bag in 30 min. and that everything that wasn't put away - went into the bag. No exceptions. Ok now for him being on seven give him a TIMER. Set the timer for 25 min. and then let him know he has 5 more min. to finish. Set the timer for 5 min. AT the end of that time...go around and see if he has done what you asked. IF you do see something you have to follow through and put it in the bag. Now at NO time did you say you were going to throw anything away...however he will assume this. Let him know that what's in the bag can be earned back by doing an EXTRA chore. (whatever you decide). It worked great with our son. All I have to do is bring out a garbage bag and set the timer....he's does great now.
Hope this helps.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Answer 4

Make him a list of chores that should be done and have him check them off as he does them. I do believe you need to reward him for doing chores. if he does all his chores for 1 month at the end of the month he can have 1 friend stay over night.

a few chores could be

help load dishwasher

put laundry in hamper

vacuum the living room

make their beds

Put plates and cups on counter after dinner

these are chores my 6 year old nephew does. I dont believe in giving them money but they need some kind of reward becaus they are kids and to them they are working. you get rewarded when you work and so should they.

Answer 5

Well, since i came from a family of 7 kids my Mom used to have this chart with all of our names on it. And she made it seem to be like chores was a priority and something that needed to get done. She'd put some chores next to ur name and once u were done with the chore you had to take that chore out from under your name. it worked because it was always fun taking the chores off cuz my mom never let any1 touch the chart. and plus it was kinda fun knowing that we were done with the chore. Oh and my Mom had this other method where we had these little slips of paper and everytime we did a chore she'd sign her name on the paper. my mom had this locked cuboard full of a bunch of candy. and at the end of the week she'd let us turn in our slips of paper (we called tickets) for candy. and each type of candy had a certain amount of tickets you needed to use on them. and my mom also would have this movie thing where we'd rent about 3 movies from Netflix and if u had a certain amount of tickets you'd be able to participate in the movie thing. I believe that this method really got me motivated to clean as a child. But as we got older we'd get more privelages for cleaning. (like going out with friends, going to the movies, mall...etc.) My mother used to use lots of different methods, because some of her methods only really worked for about a year. Then after awhile she'd create something else that'd be fun. Now i just do chores around the house when she tells me to. If you really don't want to use any type of method in particular then just get him to do chores when told. I hope i helped u a lot.
~Merry Christmas

Answer 6

Pay attention and thank him and tell him you appreciate him. Tell him you are proud of him for being so helpful and cleaning up after himself and taking care of his little sister. Brag about your good boy to your friends and family so he might overhear or someone else might tell him his mom is proud of him.
Never criticize how he does something or he won't want to do it again. Say he takes his dishes to the sink but doesn't clean up the table, don't say you didn't finish the job. Instead say thanks for clearing, that was a big help to me, now can you please wipe the crumbs into a napkin and put them in the garbage. Also remind him he is being a big boy and that comes with extra privigage. One in a while do something with just him that is little sister is too young to do.

Answer 7

If you do not want to give him money he should at least get some kind of reward for doing chores. Also trying making him a chart so he knows what is expected of him on what days and what time, being organized will definitely help in his future life.

Answer 8

I think he doesnt want to do free work for you so instead of using money, have a system like a chart and if he earns x stickers by the end of x days then you'll buy him a toy or something reasonable he wants.

Or you could have the amt of tv limited by how much work he does.

Basically work out a prize system so that he wants to work towards it.

Answer 9

Make a chart like this
Garbage
Vacuum Living room
Clean guest Bath
Etc.
and when He finish every week or two go out for Ice Cream make him his special snack let him pick out a video game. Just think of some fun small rewards and you will be set and he will enjoy the attention!

Answer 10

I think you should first show him how to clean up properly, secondly you should help him in the process of cleaning, therefor he knows that it is not a punishment. Be positive and reward him with a treat, something that he doest normally get in his daily routine, thats so he will be more willing to clean up. The reward doesnt have to be money, it could be something extra play time or anything, have fun with it.