attention-seeking?

Question

i am 18 this year. i think i am a girl who likes attention and i feel very 'bored' and left out when i'm in a big group and nobody is paying attention to me. the funny thing is, i don't like too much attention either and i don't like to be in the spotlight all the time because i don't like the idea of me being talk 'bout by people, especially people whom i am not very close to. it seems to me like i build my self-esteem and confidence on how much attention peope gives me. i am talking bout good attention here, not tha kinda unwanted attention. if i don' get enough attention, i feel like a loser, i am not attractive or something. it's like the youngest child syndrome. how can i deal with this?

Answer 1

Find your own self-esteem instead of other people giving it to you. Look up Maslows Hiearchy of needs and study it well to achieve self actualization.

Answer 2

Get counseling. And trust me, it's not the "youngest child syndrome". I'm the youngest, and I have great self esteem. You are at least one step ahead of the game by understanding that you have crappy self esteem and use getting attention to compensate for it. I just hope you do something about it, because it is a really ugly, soul-sucking, annoying trait that will destroy any relationship you enter into.

Also read Rollo May's "Love and Will." That might help. You might also try doing things for other people who are needy - I mean REAL needs, not just gaping emotional vacuums - so you can realize that it is not just all about you.

Answer 3

Wait...You said in the beginning you liked attention, then you said "I don't like too much attention..."

Answer 4

Try concentrating on others and making them comfortable. Stop focusing on yourself so much. No one else is.