You own your own home, and say you were in a relationship with a man that also owns his own home. You home is the newer of the two, but smaller. He does not wish to 'get rid' of his 'big' house to move in with you. You do not wish to leave your house. You do his laundry and he takes most of his showers at your house. Does not pay you for the water, but does take your garbage to his house. You really do care for this man, but on the other hand, you know that things are not going to change. Would you want out, or would you stay in this type of relationship?!
2007-12-23 04:06:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All are very good answers, thank you. We care about each other a lot, however, he doesn't want to get 'rid' of his big house because of all of his music and computer items. We would have to add on to my place, and that would cost. As for the garbage cost...sadly, it cost a lot more than what you quoted, it is roughly $60.00. Not cheap. As for the laundry, he does buy what I need in this area. Yes, he does do things for me also. Lets just say that he is content with things the way that they are; I on the other hand am not.
2007-12-23 23:32:34 · update #1
So he doesn't want to leave his house, and you don't want to leave yours. And he uses your water. Otherwise everything is peachy. Riiiiight.
I love my little house. I don't want to leave it either. But if I wanted to share a home with my significant other, we'd need to find a place that he is happy with and that i am happy with. Or we can each keep our individual homes and visit each other as often (or not) as we like. If that doesn't work for YOU, then there's your answer.
2007-12-23 04:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by pablasmom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I don't know how old of a woman you are looking to answer this question. But if it were me, I would first look at all the options that I might have. First why does neither of them want to give up their home, is it because they are afraid the relationship won't work? An idea for that is for one to basically move in with the other without giving up their house, and see if it works. After living together for a while, they may decide to sell the other house. Another option that I would do is if I had a child that needed a house, I would see if they would want to rent the house, so that I could keep it.
Basically I would come to a compromise or make a sacrifice if I really loved the person and wanted to be with them. But if the man wasn't willing to make any sacrifices, then I would leave him.
2007-12-23 12:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by nikic64429 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I got re-married, he sold his house & moved to mine because of my kids who were still in school, and my house was bigger and had more bathrooms. But, if it really hadn't worked for us all, we would have both sold & gotten something else in the same school district. I find your focus on the water and the garbage sort of strange - if you are in a relationship, surely he does things for you, though? Doesn't that compensate for the $36 a month or so he is saving on garbage pickup? But, I also have to ask, why the heck are you doing his laundry???? I wouldn't do laundry for someone who I wasn't married to, phooey on that.
You don't give us much information on the RELATIONSHIP - but the info about the "incidentals", about your stuff and the way it is handled, tells me that the relationship just seems a little weird, IMO. I mean, if you are really interested in getting together, you could sell both your houses and get something you both want.
2007-12-23 12:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by eldots53 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it were me and I was really serious about a guy in this situation, I would marry him and move into his house. I have learned from experience that I can be happy in a variety of physical locations; there is not just one perfect home for me. People are much more important than things.
I would definitely not move in with him without marriage. It makes home ownership pretty complicated, especially if you break up.
2007-12-23 12:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by LMT 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does he pay to take you out? What is the cost of the water? Can't you move in together and rent/lease the other house? Too many points to ponder, use your best judgement.....
2007-12-23 12:20:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jaxxonz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends. If things were going well, I might keep things the way they were. Not all relationships have to end up with people living together or getting married.
2007-12-23 12:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm 44 and nope, I wouldn't entertain it much longer. If you know things aren't going to change it's a waste of time and emotion. . move on to something you feel more optimistic about. Life is too short to be on a boat going nowhere.
2007-12-23 12:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by Cris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wonder if you really want to be toghether. My partner would have sold his large house to be with me..........he liked my little house. But he had sons and an aged mother living with him. I sold my house to be with him.........putting my security at risk. As it happpened, he died suddenly aged 57...........but I do not regret taking that risk. I loved him enough to commit and he loved me enough to want to draw up a new will......the sad bit is it was ready to sign the day after he was taken ill and I couldn't bring myself to get him to sign it even though that would have given me the security he wanted me to have.
2007-12-23 12:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find someone who can give up anything and everything for you. Someone who doesn't care where he is as long as he is with you.
2007-12-23 12:18:46 · answer #9 · answered by reg 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would answer but i am not old enough.
2007-12-23 12:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by Make the world a better place 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋