baby mama drama?

Question

I finally for the first time met my boyfriend's ex. She left him and their 3 boys for some guy she met on the internet. Hasn't seen them or talked to them not once in a year and a half. Well yesterday we agreed for her and her mom and dad to come pick up the boys and take them to get their christmas gifts. She told my BF that if I was there she wasn't coming and to tell the boys she'd see them some other time. She did end up coming and instead of being an adult, she's 32 and i'm 33, she waited across the street at the gas station til we got back into the car. Now consider this, now I'm the stay at home mom to these boys. She also has another daughter that lives with her dad that they haven't seen in over 2 years. She told my BF that she didn't want to be there or want her family to meet the ***** thats been playing mom. Then by the time we got home from picking them up after the 2 whole hours she spend with them in 1 1/2 years. She's crying and has the oldest boy crying.

then when we got home she had left more negative remarks on yahoo messenger. by then i was pissed and decided to talk to her online. She called my bf and I took the phone. She called me names and personally the whole conversation got pretty ugly, going from her telling me i look like a street walker and me telling her to wash her hair and put on some makeup. You would figure a woman would show some respect to the woman that took over the position she abandoned... any suggestions?

since i've been with my bf, this is the first time in a 1 1/2 yr she's made ANY contact with them. And by the way, my BF is amazing. She was one of those that hooked up with every guy she ever met on the internet. Ho-that is

for the people leaving rude comments to me, I take care of these boys all day long every day, i live with them, they call ME mommy, the littlest one doesn't even remember her

just more info, this woman is also messed up on drugs, lives with her parents, has another daughter she's lost custody of and her only concern is f***ing every man she can find on the internet

Answer 1

You know that's really unfortunate for your family. If this is really the case she's just trash. For a woman to walk out on her kids; that's just horrible. Because she's on drugs and has no class you will probably be subject to her immaturity. Remember to keep your position as an adult in this situation, it is imperative. Even though she's trash she's still the children's mother, and you never want them to hear you down her. I would strongly refrain from arguing around the children or talking about her negatively around them. Trust me she'll prove herself and show them how much of an unfit mother she is with her actions alone. Is better that you let her do her own dirty work.
If you being there would affect her from seeing her children after 1 1/2 than she doesn't need to see them. Nothing should ever keep you from your children. I would make sure her visits were monitored by someone because children are easily influence and you don't want her to tell the kids false information; or brainwash them.
You and your BF need to sit down and discuss this situation and see if you can work something. She needs to have guidelines and boundaries. She needs to know that these children are humans and not objects. She can't just walk in and out of their lives whenever it's convenient for her. Good luck.

Answer 2

I do not agree with a couple of these answers. Yes you are just the girlfriend for now. But you have taken over as mom to these kids. She sounds like a peice of trash. It got personal when she (not you ) put you in the picture. If she really gave a crap why did she leave them in the first place? She has and will tell these children that your horrible if not tell them something else bad about you. Anyone can play mom, but it takes a real person to be mom. Goodluck with you. Just try not to get down to her level with all the name calling. And NEVER say anything bad about the eggdoner to the kids. They will suffer in the long run. Sounds like these kids would be better off without her drama. Be sweet to them they havn't done a thing and don't deserve this. They will test you though. Your very brave for taking this on. Hang in there if you love their father, this can and will work. I know my daughters father has nothing do to with her but she loves her stepdad and he loves her.

Reading your additional comments...yeah sweetie your their mother.

Answer 3

I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing. You should continue to be a good mom. These children need a stable and healthy home and this is what you have provided. You should continue to be in control of the situation since she has not shown she is mature enough. You are doing a good job of keeping the best interest of the children in mind. That is what's most important.

Answer 4

that is so shocking.. you are a good person and mum to this family, as for the exs comments about not seeing the kids, if you were there ,i would have two nice words for her.F+++ off and how dare she disrespect you and your now family... She is a very messed up person with no family values.Lets hope she does another bunk..All i can do is hopr things work out for ye Make sure your Bf does not get fooled by her or he could end up loosng his family to somone that does'nt want or deserve them.

good luck
angie

Answer 5

I would not let that ***** get to me. yes, it is hard, but she is getting satisfaction out of it when you give in the way you do. Do not stoop to her leave. Think of it as flattery when she speaks of you (even if it is bad). This woman is not worth your time. You are a better person. you took in the kids that she did not want to take care of any more. It does not look like she will ever grow up.

There is not much you can do about people that act like this but ignore them. Do not feed into her wrath.

Answer 6

Wow, aren't you judgemental! It's none of your business. The whole situation is none of your business. This is between your boyfriend, his kids and their mother. I don't care who you are or what you do for them, you are only the girlfriend. You have no rights, no say and need to stay out of it.

Answer 7

WOW! Sounds like you got lucky with THAT bf...lol... you should've kept shopping.