i am dating a wonderful man and i really like him, the only problem i have is he is a devoted catholic and doesnt believe in sex before marriage. i am also christian but dont have they same views. i was wondering are we able to have oral sex or is that also off limits, i am confused.
we are developing a really strong connection and understanding for each other and i dont want him to change his veiws. i really love what he stands for and he is an amazing guy and i am falling for him big time, but we have only been together 6 weeks. i need to know where the limits are of what we can do sexually.
2007-12-23 03:25:22 · 32 answers · asked by Stacey H 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
it is just something i have never thought about and my faith isnt as strong as his...also i am not a virgin, whereas he is.
2007-12-23 03:31:34 · update #1
thanks for your replies.
S*Nia - he means a lot to me thats why i wanted to make sure i dont do anything that could affend him and when it comes down to sex or him...i chose him anyday!
Mr D Wiccan - i'll wait to get those good things!!
2007-12-23 03:38:12 · update #2
Fornication (Greek "porneia") refers to the using of the genital organs with immoral intentions in normal sexual relations or in pervert relations. It implies all forms of illegitimate relations outside the marital arrangement.
"What! Do you not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither FORNICATORS, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom." -- 1 Corinthians 6:9,10
Thus, a mate’s enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, within the marriage it is not a sin unless the one who has qualms of conscience still practices them or distresses or harms his/her mate. Still, every true Christian must be aware of what the Bible says about having an honorable marriage.
"Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers." -- Hebrews 13:4
"You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with them according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered." -- 1 Peter 3:7
"In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation, because we are members of his body." -- Ephesians 5:28-30
"What’s Wrong With Premarital Sex?"
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040722a/article_01.htm
"You Can Remain Chaste in an Immoral World"
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20000715/article_01.htm
2007-12-23 03:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
It's one of the difficulties involved in your "cafeteria" approach to religion dear. You pick up what you like and ignore the rest and unfortunately, your partner picks different things....
Protected sex (yes dear, this means condoms) between consenting adults is fine. If you mix various interpretations of bronze age middle eastern goat herders fairy tales with it, then you get a big mess.
I hope your delusions and religious superstitions won't make you marry a guy you never had sex with, but then I guess you will decide, in you "cafeteria" mode that divorce is OK if he does not fit your needs....
A bit sad really.
2007-12-23 03:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I go into a grocery store and want to choose a good apple I can pick it up and I can look at it.
I would be pretty upset if the person in front of me starting taking bites out of apples and putting them back in order to
see if they taste good.
http://www.catholic.com/chastity/Q1.asp
Remember, fornication is a grave sin that will require confession to receive absolution.
The decision to have sex before marriage has raised many issues.
Furthermore, the Church has never favored this condition nor will any priest ever state it is ok to try etc...
The decision will rely on both of you to determine your standpoint, some couples feel they should experiment.
During the time of Christ the parents decided on a marriage.
Example: Mary's mother and father along with Joseph's mother and father formed their marriage.
Physical attraction and/or sex was not the important part, the main concern was the love and responsibility toward each other until death.
2007-12-23 03:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kazoo M 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Any behaviour designed to promote sexual arousal before marriage is against the Spirit.
Why do some women wear plunging necklines or dresses showing their thighs?
Why do guys look women up & down & show their chest?
God isn't a kill-joy, man is!
God has made it so we give and receive THE BEST in relationship, that's LOVE.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen.2:24)
"leaving and cleaving"
P.S. It sounds like neither of you have received God's love by receiving His Spirit (see Acts 2:4, 39; Romans 5:5, Jude 20-21). Then you can have a "3-fold chord" relationship which is much stronger than just 2. (Eccl.4:12).
2007-12-23 05:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by potentiallywonderful 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are limited to kissing these days. There was a time when kissing was even restricted. The Bible requires all of us to never have sex unless we are married.
All these diseases that are exchanged having sex would never have come to be if all had obeyed God.
You don't have to be Catholic to read your Bible. There are 306 Commandments in the Old Testament, starting at Ex. 20:3.
2007-12-23 03:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by geessewereabove 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
By most opinion any form of genital contact is sex. If you really love what he stands for regardless of what it is stand by him in his beliefs. Also in my personal opinion waiting for sex may be why your connecting so much, sex usually changes relationships and tends to complicate things. So waiting as long as you have may have given you the time and ability to really get to know one another on a deep level and may continue to cause you to grow together.
On a personal note, I was once in a relationship quite similar to yours, I met a wonderful girl who was still a virgin and wanted to wait for marriage. We fell in love and eventually dated for around three years and planed on marriage. For about three months all we did was kiss and talk. After that we began sleeping with one another and it was so intense that soon it took over the entire relationship and that was all we did together. We stopped having long conversations and began growing apart. One day I realized I didn't really know her any more and we began having terrible fights. Our families grew to hate one another as a result of our endless arguments and eventually began interfering with our relationship. In the end we had a very messy brake up. It's been some three years since then and we have been in touch with one another but even though we still have feelings for each other we can never be together because of family, trust issues and all the pain we caused each other and ourselves.
Of course that is just what happened to us and to say it would happen to you is just foolish and unlikely but I can say I wish I had acted differently and regret my choices in the matter.
2007-12-23 04:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Please...what if you marry him and he turns out to be the worst lay in the history of mankind? Then you won't be able to divorce him because he's catholic and blah blah blah.
Seriously think about this...nothing wrong with having beliefs, but at some point those beliefs have to hold up with the tempo of the times.
2007-12-23 03:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
i dont think oral sex is allowed either.. but it has only been 6 weeks and trust me in the future if you do get married even if it is after years the sex will be amazing... i was in a similar situation and we waited 4 years.. at the time it seemed soo hard but on our wedding night it was soo speical.. hoever he did used to have oral sex with me but i just didnt do it to him he was very strony and the oral thing only started a year after we knew each other...... its upto you but the wait is worth while
2007-12-23 03:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by freefaller 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
800 years ago they did not have condoms or abortions and thats why they say sex before marrage is not good
i say keep up with the times
sex is fun and kinky
and the guy that said "you dont buy a car with out taking a test drive" haha
2007-12-23 03:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by Paul B 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Oral sex is sex. You should be focused on other aspects of the relationship like connecting emotionally, spiritually, etc. You've only been dating him for 6 weeks! You also need to ask yourself.....why are you a christian but believe in premarital sex? This is not what the Bible teaches. Can you truly connect w/this man if you don't follow the Bible's teachings? God does not keep us from premarital sex just to be a jerk. He does it to protect our hearts from the damage that can occur after a breakup. We need to be committed fully in a relationship (marriage) before we give ourselves completely to a man.
2007-12-23 03:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 5⤊ 4⤋
If he cannot accept your beliefs and interests before marriage
it will be a long hard road with you ending up miserable.
2007-12-23 21:23:30 · answer #11 · answered by kymm r 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋