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My husband is almost 26, and we are currently living with his parents. Every time we go out somewhere important (to a family function or a wedding or whatever), his mother insists on doing his hair for him. I think this is absolutely insane, he is WAY too old for this to be going on, and I think it shows that she still thinks of him as a little baby and not a grown man. She also makes our bed if I am at work. I consider both of these things to be overstepping her bounds, she needs to back off and let us do things on our own. I don't know if I have the right to speak up about it. DH will not stand up to her about it because she gets a MAJOR attitude about stuff. He just lets her do it and keeps quiet to keep the peace, but I think something should be said. Should I speak up about it the next time it happens, or should I just let it go?

2007-12-23 03:22:33 · 6 answers · asked by Frustrated Wife 1 in Family & Relationships Family

Just to clarify, *I* have a job. My husband does not, he is having a very difficult time finding a job so I had no choice but to move in with them. My income alone is not enough to be paying a mortgage or rent.

2007-12-23 03:44:43 · update #1

6 answers

I'm so sorry!! I have a crazy mother-in-law that lives 4 hours away. .and she still over steps her boundaries!! It would continue even if you moved out. Your husband does need to stand up to his mom and let her know how you both feel about these situations. He doesn't have to be rude about it, but just calmly explaining to her what bothers you guys. My husband totally stood up for me and tried telling his mom how we felt about things and she still blew her fuse. Good luck, I really really hope your husband finds a job soon and you guys are able to get a place of your own.

2007-12-23 12:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You two should get your own lodgings. This is utterly unworkable and makes me squirm... fancy doing a grown man's hair. Does she intend to take him by the hand to the bathroom too?

Make your bed before leaving for work. Your Mother in Law should not need to do it. You have two arms and so has your husband. It only takes a minute.

I would not speak up or ask my husband to run fowl of a crabby mother, but I would move on to my own lodgings as soon as possible. Like within the month. Say Thank you so much for having us, but it is time we got on with our lives.

If you are old enough to be a couple, you are old enough to live on your own resources.

Best wishes

Lisa

2007-12-23 11:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 6 · 0 0

i have the same problem with my MIL or i like to call her:

MONSTER IN LAW :)

i think first thing is first, move out, whhilst u r under her roof u have to respect her. when u move out as we did, she will get the picture, if not then u need to tell her you are his WIFE and if anyone will do his hair (and its not him) it will be U or his hairdresser. but in all honesty she will always baby him, try not to let it bother you so much and just enjoy being the lady in his life, his mum will always be his mum, but you will always be his wife. there is a saying i heard which helped me understand alot about mothers and children.. it goes:

A son is a son until he gets a wife, but a daughter is a dughter for life.

maybe tell her that in a friendly way she night get that it bothers u that she smother him.. oh yeh as for the bed... thats her way of letting both him and U know that she doesnt think you are good enough for him. imagine coming home from work and finding her spring cleaning your house! when its ALREADY CLEAN!!

be positive and remember he married you not his mum lol.. good luck love :)

2007-12-23 11:38:10 · answer #3 · answered by miss.fotiou 2 · 0 0

since you are not able to afford separate housing from the MIL put a lock on your bedroom door and tell that boy you married it's time for him to become a man. tell him you do not want a house maid and you want a place of your own and that he has to go out job hunting every hour that you are working at your job. hopefully you can at least find a small one bedroom apartment that you can call your own private sanctuary.

he is holding onto her apron strings because he is afraid to face his mother and stand up for himself and for you his wife. wouldn't you rather be with a man and not a boy?

2007-12-23 16:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 0 0

I think that if you want to assert your independence and show that you are grown up with this woman, that you need to actually be independent and grown up. Get a job, move out, get your own place to live, quit depending on her to support you.

It's her house, she can do whatever she wants in it. Keep your mouth shut and smile. When you have your house, then you can do what you want.

2007-12-23 11:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1 0

Why havnt youse got your own house if youse are married?It's up to you if you wanna speak up but your in his mothers house remember that

2007-12-23 11:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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